Poppy Seed Counselling

Poppy Seed Counselling Healing relationships and achieving amazing results for sufferers of PTSD, anxiety and depression in 3 sessions.

19/06/2023

We create safe spaces where men can share without the fear of judgment.

Whose Script?We are born into a family system we do not choose. Our little bodies are already filled with instincts incl...
01/10/2022

Whose Script?

We are born into a family system we do not choose. Our little bodies are already filled with instincts including breathing, digestion, feeding, blinking, organ function etc. Like any creature, environment is key to meeting development milestones. Add to the environmental mix, one or two emotionally immature and/or dysregulated parents and the new arrival’s natural pathway of emotional and psychological growth is altered. The child adjusts to whatever their family presents. They must! The adjustments however are predominantly personalised. The child does not have the competency to differentiate….that is to hold their parent(s) accountable, rather in their ego-centricity, make it about themselves. For example “there something wrong with me”, “I don’t matter”, “I’m not enough”, “I’m not lovable” etc.

This personalisation of parental deficits also instigates the child’s way of being in life. I now need to prove in some way that I am enough! The children will mind map their parents to work out what behaviours could bring connection or avoid rejection. A raft of acceptable or unacceptable behaviours can come from this process…. connection at whatever cost! Parents can then start to pay attention and even reward the child for certain acceptable behaviours, achievements, and efforts, further reinforcing the child’s adjusted way of being in life. On the inverse, the more negative behaviours can bring punishment. If hitting a sibling or being annoying is the only way to bring the otherwise neglecting or aloof parent in, then so be it!

The child’s program does not end in childhood. Their insecurities will carry into every subsequent relationship. A forty-year-old adult can still be seeking validation from their adult partner for confirmation that they are enough. Of course, neither the partner nor the insecure person can resolve the insecurity. At best, some affirmation can transactionally provide relief, however the fear that 'I’m not enough' always resides deeper than the present relationship. It is a script constructed in the deficits of parents. This script is not the truth of a person. Many commentators will suggest that you obtain through some life conquest, the best you or true you. The truth of you however is already present beneath the adjustments made in those early ego-centric years. As we scrape away the dross and debris (the adjustments), we almost fall into the truth of who we are. We step into our truth by learning who we are not…that is the script we are running is not ours to resolve.

The Involuntary SystemI often refer to the ‘Involuntary System’ interchangeably as the unconscious or the non-rational. ...
23/11/2021

The Involuntary System

I often refer to the ‘Involuntary System’ interchangeably as the unconscious or the non-rational. The Involuntary System according to the ‘National Institutes of Health’ is “the part of the nervous system that controls muscles of internal organs (such as the heart, blood vessels, lungs, stomach, and intestines) and glands (such as salivary glands and sweat glands)”. This dimension of the nervous system is known as the ‘Autonomic Nervous System’ which also helps the flight, fight, freeze mechanisms associated with survival.
Survival can be;

1. Rational (instinctual) which informs that a person’s life is in imminent danger of harm or death; and
2. Non-Rational (conditioned) which causes a person to perceive imminent threat or death when they are in fact, actually safe. A common term for an emotional reaction to a perceived threat is ‘trigger’.

We can sometimes use voluntary actions to override the involuntary systems. I often use the terms ‘conscious’ or ‘rational’ self interchangeably for voluntary systems. For instance, we can purposely blink or hold onto our breath, however, at some point the involuntary actions of blinking and breathing will cut back in. I’ve observed in my own practice and the shared stories of other therapists that, more often than not, we are similarly trying to use voluntary processes to support a client’s involuntary triggers and negative states of being. Consider affirmations, thought replacement, Socratic reasoning, mindfulness, diarizing, time in nature or just being alone. These are examples of voluntary interventions.

A person’s will power, desire to be well and environment can often predict some degree of benefit obtained from voluntary interventions. On some occasions there can be breakthroughs and salient moments. Over time however for many, as life does what it does with relationship distresses, redundancies, loss of a loved one etc., a person can become fatigued using voluntary methods to offset involuntary internally ‘charged’ moments. For many, when fatigue meets exhaustion, those involuntary fight, flight and freeze movements will resurface, often to a point of overwhelm. That autonomic nervous system is the constant fall back position.

Many can get to a point where it is like they are fighting to get to the surface and breath in a swimming pool that holds no water. The perception is that there is water all around them and they are destined to drown. Everything and everyone can present as a perceived threat or danger (hyper-vigilance) so symptomatically people develop high anxiety, depression and/or other conditions and make their world so small in order to avoid being harmed.
The art of therapy is to turn off the conditioned survival states and return to instinct. This means directly working with what is trapped in the involuntary system. To return people to a place of instinct and trust in self (internal/secure) rather than fear being used as the primary agent of survival where trust is placed with everything and everybody else (external/insecure).

The Richards Trauma Process works directly with the conditioned states trapped in the involuntary system to return people to a place of instinct by addressing:

1. The negative beliefs about ourselves we take on in early life; and
2. The trapped charge (It’s not over and I’m not safe) from historical distressful events so the autonomic nervous system's fall back position is ‘It’s over and I’m safe now’.

See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOPezA-87nQ

If you’re interested, and would like to find out more about TRTP, please contact Poppy Seed Counselling on 0422 053 522 or email admin@poppyseedcounselling.com to book a free 15 Minute Consult.

Why are health professionals talking about TRTP (The Richards Trauma Process)? Because it's fast, effective and safe. Because it works in just 3 - 4 sessions...

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4305

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