Crooked Mile Counselling

13/02/2025

The path may twist and turn, but every small step is progress.

21/12/2024

𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑨𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚; 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡 5 - 𝐶𝑖𝑟𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙

This week, my car broke down. Right before the holiday break, when many businesses are closing for a couple of weeks. It's 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥.

Of course my brain immediately slid into one of the Thought Traps I wrote about in the last post: catastrophising. There were a jumble of thoughts about how I would manage without a car, whether I could even afford car repairs & how bad things would get if I couldn't.

After a while I recognised my thoughts had spiralled. I was giving so much energy to things I couldn't change; it felt overwhelming & unproductive. That’s where Circles of Control come in: by helping me refocus on what I 𝑐𝑎𝑛 control instead of ruminating on what I 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡.

Circles of Control help you map out the different things that are directly in your control, the things you may have some influence over, and the things that are out of your control. I've written some examples of each in the picture diagram attached to this post.

When we begin to see clearly what is - and isn't - actually within our control, we often start to realise our anxious thoughts are hyper-focussed on things in the Out of Our Control circle. That’s normal! Our brains prefer to have neat solutions for problems.

But it’s unrealistic, & it keeps us stuck; stuck in the past, or the future, or on someone else’s actions. We get so caught up in trying to control the uncontrollable that we tie ourselves up in emotional knots, & we can begin to feel helpless & depressed.

Circles of Control doesn’t magically make our problems or concerns disappear. It’s simply a fast way of managing our anxiety by bringing attention back to the present & focusing on what we can do right now.

Can you think of some other things that are in your inner Circle of Control? I’d love to hear if this technique works for you!

10/12/2024

It's beginning to look a lot like Stressmas.

05/12/2024

In the last post of 𝐿𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐴𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, we explored 'Thought Traps' & how they shape the way we interpret experiences. I wrote about how habitual thoughts or behaviours create neural pathways—like well-worn trails in a forest. Our brains prefer these familiar paths because they’re less energy-intensive, even if they’re unhelpful.

Changing these automatic patterns takes practice, & one skill that can help is '𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨'.

Our brains are fascinating. We often believe we’re in full control of our thoughts, but much of what happens in our minds is automatic, shaped by years of habits and experiences.

In fact, studies suggest we think around 6,000 thoughts per day (!) most of which run quietly in the background—like a TV burbling away in our heads. These automatic thoughts influence what we notice & how we react, creating a feedback loop that reinforces old pathways.

Reframing is the skill of intentionally stepping off those automatic paths to create new, healthier ones. It’s not about ignoring reality or “gaslighting” yourself with false positivity—a common misconception.

Instead, it’s about challenging and shifting the stories we tell ourselves to make them more balanced, constructive, and empowering.

For example, instead of thinking, "I always mess up at work," reframing could look like, "I’ve faced challenges at work before, but I’ve also found ways to improve and succeed." It’s a practice of honesty 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯, which is a key element missing in many of our anxious thoughts.

Why does this matter? Because creating new neural pathways takes 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Every time we practice reframing, we reinforce a healthier pattern. Over time, these new pathways feel more familiar, & the brain begins to prefer them over the old ones

Reframing often feels odd or fake at first—that’s normal! But like any skill, it gets easier with practice, eventually becoming a natural way to process your thoughts & help manage anxiety.

Next time you notice some anxious thoughts, try a bit of reframing and let me know how you go.

19/11/2024

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑 - 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐬

In this series on 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘈𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, I’m sharing strategies & skills that have helped me manage my anxiety. In the previous posts, we’ve discussed the importance of finding strategies that resonate with 𝐘𝐎𝐔. Now, let’s explore something that is often behind anxiety: Thought Traps.

Neuroscience shows that our brains move along neural pathways; habitual thoughts & actions create strong pathways. The brain prefers to stick with these pathways, whether they’re helpful or not. The more we reinforce these habitual patterns, the more likely the brain will jump to that pathway.

Thought traps can take many forms, but they generally lead us to believe the worst, assume we know what others are thinking, or predict future failure. Some common thought traps include:

☹ Catastrophizing
☹ Overgeneralizing
☹ All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black & White Thinking)
☹ Mind Reading
☹ Fortune Telling

The problem is, our brains don’t like to change & when we’re stuck in a thought trap it will often provide 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 convincing reasons that the thought is true. Which reinforces the habitual neural pathway.

This is where a therapist may help. They can offer a different perspective, & check whether there’s actual evidence to support the habitual thought. With practice, you can start using a technique called 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨, which is about consciously choosing a new way of thinking.

It takes time (and feels fake to begin with!) but with consistent practice you begin to see that you can have some control over your thoughts, instead of them controlling you.

19/11/2024

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 - 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

In this series on 𝐿𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐴𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, I’m sharing the strategies and skills that have helped me manage my own anxiety. Last time, I talked about how anxiety is a common experience and how finding tools that resonate with us personally is so important.

One of the biggest shifts for me—and ironically the last one I tried—was learning to accept my anxiety. Like many people, I spent years trying to “fix” my anxiety and make it go away. But that didn’t work. Things only started to get easier when I began to accept living with anxiety.

Acceptance doesn’t mean I like having anxiety, or that I’m giving up on feeling better. It means making room for it instead of resisting it. When I stopped battling every anxious thought, I freed up energy to focus on what I could control. I also stopped hating myself and telling myself I should be “better” or “different.”

Accepting my anxiety has allowed me to see it differently. It’s part of who I am—but just one part. Anxiety doesn’t define me.

In the next posts, I’ll share strategies that have helped me live with anxiety without trying to eliminate it. Acceptance might take time, but it’s a step toward living more comfortably with anxiety.

15/11/2024

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡: 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

Anxiety is a common concern that people bring to counselling. Even if it isn’t the main issue, it’s often lurking in the background and creating extra stress.

When I ask clients what they’ve tried in the past to manage their anxiety, responses are often common techniques such breathing exercises, mindfulness, grounding techniques and meditation.

But some clients say these approaches don’t work for them, and I get it—because they don’t work for me either.

It’s not that these strategies aren’t effective; they are very well-researched and proven to help with anxiety. The reason these skills aren’t effective for some people is that 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈.

And practice is the basis of changing our habitual thoughts or actions.

I live with anxiety, so I thought I’d write a series of posts on the tools that have been helpful in my life and for some of my clients. These tools aren’t a cure to get rid of anxiety and they also aren’t quick fixes. They are tools that can help me live with anxiety so it becomes more manageable.

Anxiety doesn’t define who we are, and it’s not something to feel embarrassed about. Hopefully some of the things I discuss in this series will resonate with you too.

The next post in this series is about a concept that changed the way I felt about living with anxiety: 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

Stay tuned, you’re not alone on this journey.

11/11/2024

Don't give people the opportunity to feel like they're the expert on your hopes & dreams.

We can’t change what other people say or do. Our power lies in how we react to it. Protect your peace ✌️

(Don’t let excitement make you announce things too early. Be silent until you’re sure, and even when you’re sure, don’t give too much away.-unknown)

20/10/2024

𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰??
𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙈𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙣 (𝙈𝙃𝘾𝙋) 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙧!

Many people believe accessing therapy starts with getting a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP) from a GP,but that’s not the case when seeing a counsellor.

While a MHCP provides Medicare rebates for up to 10 sessions with a psychologist or social worker, some people find they need more time to work through their challenges.

Once the rebates run out, therapy fees can increase significantly.

There’s also the effort, time, and cost of seeing a GP for an MHCP, which usually requires a double appointment.

And after all that, you may still face long wait times to book a therapy session with a therapist who provides rebates.

By choosing to book directly with a counsellor, you gain faster, more affordable, and flexible care—no GP referrals, no long waits, and no need to repeat your story multiple times.

Get the support you need, when you need it, without unnecessary costs or delays.

05/10/2024

Let's Be Real - social media isn't easy for me.

In my previous post I joked about my lovely client who is trying to get me to be more proactive with promoting myself on social media. Today, I wanted to share something personal. As a counsellor, I’m often guiding others through their struggles, but lately, I’ve been facing a challenge of my own—showing up here on social media.

Truth be told, I find it hard to post. I worry about what to say, how it’ll come across, and if I’ll be judged. I find myself hesitating, questioning if my posts are ‘good enough’—and I KNOW that hesitation is something many of us struggle with in different areas of our lives.

Motivation can feel distant when we’re worried about perfection or others' opinions. For me, this is a reminder that it’s okay to be human and to not have it all figured out! Sometimes, it’s about taking small steps forward, even when it feels uncomfortable.

So here I am - feeling uncomfortable and a bit foolish - but showing up because my client believes in me, just like I believe in her. And maybe that's what life is supposed to be about, supporting others when they feel lost or stuck.

I'm here to support you, whenever your path goes a little crooked too.

Cartoon Credit: Invisible Bread

30/09/2024

When your client uses the last moments of their session to scold you for your lack of content on social media, and invites you to 'explore the blocks you have' and 'reframe this as an opportunity'
🫠

15/07/2024