Idi Pimenta Heart Centred Relationship Coach

06/09/2025

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Carl Jung says all issues come back to fear. Fear that life (mother) will abandon us or fear that life (mother) will overwhelm us.
For little ones our Mother represents Life. As we grow up, these fears transfer from the Mother to Life itself, and we either feel abandoned by life or overwhelmed by it.
Restoring trust in Life holding us is at the heart of healing. It takes patience, gentleness and slowness to develop a new supportive relationship with Life. Maybe the relationship with your Mother may never change, but your one with Life can.

03/09/2025

There’s a quiet skill our nervous system can grow over time called emoturity. It’s our body’s natural way of processing and releasing emotions.

We don’t need to feel everything all at once. Just noticing emotions, little by little in safe ways, helps our system learn. Over time, feelings become easier to be with, without them overwhelming us.

Thankyou Somatic Tao
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EMOTOLOGY RELIES ON INTEROCEPTION

Emotology refers to how our non-cognitive brain and our body – our neurophysiology – works with the emotion energies of our body. It is the process by which our emotion energies drive all aspects of our biology from the grossly obvious, (e.g., organ functions; muscular constriction/relaxation), to the unconscious, (e.g., production of neurochemicals such as energy molecules, neurotransmitters and hormones).

Our emotions are energetic responses to our environment:

👉 Our external environment, e.g., objects; people; energies we interact with; and
👉 Our internal environment, e.g., our body temperature; heart rate; breathing; thirst; hunger; need to urinate or defaecate.

Experience of our external environment is called “exteroception” and involves the six senses:

👀 Eyes and seeing
👂 Ears and hearing
👃 Nose and smelling
👅 Tongue and tasting
🤝 Skin and touching
💪 Joints/muscles and the position/posture of our body, (proprioception).

Experience of our internal environment is called “interoception” and involves sensory receptors known as “interoceptors” located in our organs and other bodily systems, e.g., nervous system; endocrine system; organs; fascia; lymph; circulatory system etc. Whilst most people are familiar with exteroception, the process of interoception is far less acknowledged.

Yet interoception is very important for maintaining homeostasis. It is our interoceptors which convey information from our bodily systems to our peripheral and central nervous systems to initiate often conscious, corrective action to maintain biological efficiency and integrity, e.g., to eat something; to put on warmer clothes; to rest.

A crucial aspect of interception frequently ignored is the internal bodily experience of incomplete emotology, e.g.,

🧪 Acid reflux as unspent anger
🤢 Sense of nausea as unspent disgust
🫁 Shallow breath indicating unspent sadness
🥶 Coldness as unspent fear
🫥 Numbness or dissociation of unspent terror

Lack of conscious awareness of the above hinders emotology further. And without emotology, our neurophysiology will struggle to develop its emoturity, where poor emoturity predisposes to chronic disease.

Can you think of other examples of interoception indicating incomplete emotology? Please add in the comments below 👇 to help increase public awareness 🙏.

MORE INFORMATION:

📌 EMOTOLOGY:
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=1034305068710800&set=a.457198723088107

📌 EMOTIONAL MATURITY & RESILIENCY:
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1C5bktgiC5/

📌 EMOTURITY IS BUILT ON NEUROPLASTICITY
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CFA4pMemf/

📌 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS NOT EMOTURITY:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15HmjdyGMc/

📌 EMOTIONAL NEGLECT, BEN:
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=894198262721482&set=pb.100063939490031.-2207520000

02/09/2025

Respect
🙏🏻🧡

02/09/2025

One of the deepest heartbreaks I witness in my work is limerence as a replay of childhood neglect.

The fantasy of being chosen or seen so often begins in the cot; little arms reaching out, waiting for comfort that never came. The child learns to survive by holding onto hope, imagining love where there was absence.

From an IFS and SE lens, it reflects exiled parts longing for connection, and protectors managing vulnerability through fantasy. Healing comes through gently befriending these parts, building capacity in the nervous system, and offering the self-compassion, resonance, and embodied safety once missing. Over time, the reaching softens, and the self begins to feel whole.
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Taken from Chasing Love That Hurts. You can read more here: https://traumatorecovery.gumroad.com/l/zmjjxu

31/08/2025

"I'm not here to be understood,
I'm here to be true"

Chase Hughes
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Emotional self-abandonment is the root of insecure attachment. It’s a consequence of being emotionally abandoned by others, usually during childhood by well-intentioned parents who learned to abandon their own emotions and just didn’t know how to adequately show up for yours. Love goes a long way, but it isn’t enough to instill emotional health in the same way love isn’t enough to create physical health.
All the relationship advice in the world won’t be enough to make your relationship thrive until you are able to show up for yourself emotionally. This is because the unhealed, abandoned parts of self will keep getting in your way. Don’t get me wrong, we all NEED others in life who can also show up for us, and having others show up for us can teach us to show up for self and support us in a way that makes healing much easier. But still, learning to show up for self must be a priority in order to make connection possible . ❤️

❤️

22/08/2025

A useful distinction
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So many parents tell me, “I feel guilty leaving my kids to go out with friends,” or “I feel guilty taking time for me.”

When really, most of the time, that feeling isn’t actually guilt.

Guilt is what shows up when we act out of alignment with our values. It’s uncomfortable and it’s supposed to be. It’s a signal that helps us reflect, repair, and realign.

But going out with friends when connection and self-care are part of your value system? That’s not guilt. That’s your child’s discomfort showing up and you taking it on as your own.

We’ve been conditioned (especially us women!) to scan our environment for other people’s feelings. To absorb them. To hold them in our bodies. And then to call it guilt.

That’s not guilt. That’s emotional confusion.

So the next time you think, “I feel so guilty,” pause and ask: Is this truly guilt, or am I just picking up on someone else’s discomfort?

Naming the difference matters - it keeps us grounded in our own values while staying present with our kids’ feelings.

20/08/2025

Trauma bonds don’t form overnight; they’re conditioned through cycles of intensity and withdrawal. That’s why they can be so tough to turn around, even when we long for change, but with support and persistence, it is possible.
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🔗 https://bit.ly/4oGqC8P
Emotional connections formed with an abuser are known as trauma bonds — and healing is possible with the right support.

These bonds can create mixed feelings toward a partner, where moments of manipulation are followed by periods of affection. For those with a history of insecure attachments, this can lead to repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycle and beginning to heal.

20/08/2025

Safety is the doorway to healing, to thriving, to living with possibility.
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17/08/2025

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**7 Boundaries You Can Set to Avoid the Bare Minimum in Relationships**

**1. I won't accept hot & cold behavior**
If I am unsure how they feel about me, it's a no. Consistency is the foundation of emotional safety. If someone is affectionate one day and distant the next, it creates instability and anxiety. Love should not feel like a guessing game.

**2. I must have consistent communication**
For me to feel safe, I need to know I’m a priority, and communication is the way trust is built. Consistency in checking in, responding, and sharing openly prevents misunderstandings and fosters security in the relationship.

**3. Actions and words must align**
Promises mean nothing without follow-through. I need to see that what they say matches what they do, because alignment between words and actions prevents the false hope of change and protects me from the pain of empty promises.

**4. I'm not settling for surface-level connection**
I need depth. They should be genuinely curious about me, asking meaningful questions, engaging in real conversations, and showing interest in my inner world — not just the surface details of my life.

**5. I won't stay in relationships where my emotions are dismissed or ignored**
Calling me “too sensitive” or minimizing my feelings is emotional invalidation, and it will not be tolerated. My emotions deserve acknowledgment and respect, even if they are different from my partner’s perspective.

**6. I won't stay in relationships where conflict is ignored, avoided, or constantly left unresolved**
True intimacy comes from repair. I’m only available for relationships where disagreements are addressed with honesty, resolution, and a willingness to grow — not swept under the rug or left to fester.

**7. If my boundaries are repeatedly ignored or challenged, I will walk away from the relationship**
Boundaries are not negotiable tests. If someone continuously disrespects them, they are showing me they do not value my needs, and the healthiest choice I can make is to remove myself from that dynamic.

These boundaries are not about being demanding — they are about refusing to settle for the bare minimum and protecting your emotional well-being.