20/09/2023
SACRED AWAKENING
Who are we? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
These are all common question we ask ourselves, particularly those who have chosen to come here at this time to birth sacred wisdom for the collective remembering of humanity.
For those of us who have chosen to walk the ways of the sacred longing for truth, often are walking along a tightrope between the light and the shadows.
I speak of this, because it has been my journey.
My life has been a dichotomy of wandering the fine line between the shadows of the underworld and the holy light of Christ consciousness.
My journey has been one of remembering, and I can tell you it's been far from an easy road.
Externally my life is very blessed. I have a beautiful supportive family and many loyal friends. But it was the internal battles that my suffering stemmed from. The demons that lie within.
For much of my life, I attempted to be one sided, always grasping for the light. I used to believe that being a 'light worker' meant always holding the light. But over the past nine months I have been through an immense awakening.
difference this time was I spent these nine months in the underworld.
It was truly terrifying for the most part and I began to believe that perhaps I was journeying as Persephone. That I had eaten the forbidden fruit, and I would be banished to the 'hell' realms for eternity.
I felt like there was no escape, and that I would continue to spiral down into the depths of hell.
This happened, over nine months I spiraled into the darkest places. I stumbled into the lowest frequencies, and I became face to face with the devil time and time again.
I can honestly say I have danced with the devil, and it wasn't pretty. There were days when I couldn't locate even a speck of light. The darkness was all consuming, the days were long, and I even questioned if I was already dead.
But about three weeks ago, a speck of light, a little seed was planted in my heart from a divine source.
This seed helped me remember the power of hope. It planted a gentle remembering that I was not the darkness, that I was the light walking through the darkness and there was a way out.
This seed became an anchor within my heart. And with that anchor I began to draw myself heart maps, I began to channel sacred pathways for myself out of the darkness.
What I can say about this practice is that it truly was divine intervention. The guidance came from the highest source of love that I have ever experienced, I felt so held. Over this three-week period, I began to build my strength and resilience to wander out of the darkness and restore balance within and without.
This experience has been a true awakening for me, and I literally feel like I have been reborn into a strong, confident and empowered woman. I can truly say I have walked with the devil and I have come out the other side knowing and loving myself very deeply.
I share this story because what I experienced was truly terrifying, to the point that I ended up in a mental health ward diagnosed as depressive psychotic.
I lost all feeling in my body for two months, from extreme disassociation. I became num and was literally diagnosed as 'crazy'.
I felt extremely isolated because literally no one could understand my experience. But what I lived was very real and it was a very deep spiritual awakening.
Like I said, at the time I thought it would never end. But upon coming out the other side, I truly believe everything that happened was divinely perfect and that this entire experience was purposeful.
Because of my story, my experience, I believe this is the work I will be sharing in the world to empower others with my sacred maps and pathways journey's back to the heart.
My path is now clear, my purpose is clear, and I look forward to sharing more after I take time out for my recovery journey.
Until then, please feel to reach out to me if you want to talk or share your experiences, or just need a friend who understands.
We are all on our sacred journey's and sometimes we all need a helping hand or a spark of light to get us through to the other side.
Photograph by Hayley Melrose.
Musings by Erin Alexis Grace 21/09/23