Jill Kite - Nexus Online Counselling Clinic

27/06/2024

Inspirational words

21/08/2023

13/12/2022

Christmas and the holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time.

The reality is that it can be a difficult time for those who struggle to navigate the celebrations and festivities going on around them.

They might be dealing with the strain of financial pressure, work demands, recent events, grief, or a challenging family situation.

If there's someone you know who's finding this time of year tough you can make a difference by checking in and having a meaningful conversation.

'Tis the season to be asking R U OK?

For holiday conversation and support tips visit https://bit.ly/3FEAonB

25/08/2022

Has anyone noticed this?

31/07/2022

Worth remembering..

28/06/2022

Be the person that is there to help them through.

It's not about having all the answers or solving someone's problems.

Listening and lending your support can help someone feel supported, cared about and better about their situation.

Find more conversation tips at https://bit.ly/2ZcG05n

20/06/2022

Important advice

I want my kids to ALWAYS remember...
Your instincts are there to protect you. LISTEN.

03/06/2022

So true

I witnessed an argument other day between two people who love each other.

When one member of the disagreeing party left visibly upset, the remaining person looked at me as if to say, ‘Can you believe that reaction?’

I took a deep breath.

I knew I had a few options – I could try to explain why the other person had such an emotionally charged reaction or I could offer a direct statement. If the person really wanted to understand and repair this painful disconnect, this truth would be a starting point.

I chose the direct statement:

“People just want to be heard.”

It’s as simple and complex as that.

If you don’t feel heard,
Like your feelings are not valid
Like your opinion is dumb
Like your needs are secondary…

There’s going to be pain in the conversation.

There’s going to be an increase in volume.

There’s going to be emotion displayed, perhaps in the form of tears.

Instead of saying to that person, “Geez, don’t get so worked up!” maybe try saying, “I sense this is really important to you, and I really want to hear what you are saying to me.”

Then listen.

You don’t have to agree… that’s not what people are asking. They are simply asking to be respected as an authority of THEIR feelings and THEIR needs.

Once I learned this, a whole world opened up—
A world where I didn’t have to know what was best for someone else
A world where people I loved could learn to trust themselves
A world where I gained knowledge and empathy by hearing experiences I hadn’t lived.

This is why I love to hear people’s stories.

From my kitchen table to cab rides to retreat center rooms, I covet people’s stories.

Sometimes it’s just giving them a long pause.
Sometimes it’s offering them the floor.
Sometimes it’s handing them the microphone.

But every time I do, I witness the healing power of knowing “my story matters.”

People just want to be heard.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2022

My friends, I will be holding two in-person retreats in 2022 if you long for a supportive space to be heard in the ways you feel most comfortable. Whether it’s to hear yourself for the first time in a long time… or be heard by loving encouragers like me… or hear the healing messages of birdsong and autumn breezes, there is a place for you.

To join me at Omega Institute (Rhinebeck NY) in September, click here > https://www.eomega.org/workshops/soul-shift/soul-shift

To join me at Art of Living Retreat Center (Boone NC) in November, click here > https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/event/faculty/rachel-macy-stafford/soul-shift/

*Both centers are committed to a diverse audience of participants who could not attend without financial support from their foundation. Please message me or the centers if interested in applying for a scholarship.

Image description: In thick, rainbow-colored script is a quote by RMS that says: “We could spare ourselves and each other a lot of pain if we could remember: People just want to be heard.”

23/04/2022

I witnessed an argument other day between two people who love each other.

When one member of the disagreeing party left visibly upset, the remaining person looked at me as if to say, ‘Can you believe that reaction?’

I took a deep breath.

I knew I had a few options – I could try to explain why the other person had such an emotionally charged reaction or I could offer a direct statement. If the person really wanted to understand and repair this painful disconnect, this truth would be a starting point.

I chose the direct statement:

“People just want to be heard.”

It’s as simple and complex as that.

If you don’t feel heard,
Like your feelings are not valid
Like your opinion is dumb
Like your needs are secondary…

There’s going to be pain in the conversation.

There’s going to be an increase in volume.

There’s going to be emotion displayed, perhaps in the form of tears.

Instead of saying to that person, “Geez, don’t get so worked up!” maybe try saying, “I sense this is really important to you, and I really want to hear what you are saying to me.”

Then listen.

You don’t have to agree… that’s not what people are asking. They are simply asking to be respected as an authority of THEIR feelings and THEIR needs.

Once I learned this, a whole world opened up—
A world where I didn’t have to know what was best for someone else
A world where people I loved could learn to trust themselves
A world where I gained knowledge and empathy by hearing experiences I hadn’t lived.

This is why I love to hear people’s stories.

From my kitchen table to cab rides to retreat center rooms, I covet people’s stories.

Sometimes it’s just giving them a long pause.
Sometimes it’s offering them the floor.
Sometimes it’s handing them the microphone.

But every time I do, I witness the healing power of knowing “my story matters.”

People just want to be heard.

© Rachel Macy Stafford 2022

My friends, I will be holding two in-person retreats in 2022 if you long for a supportive space to be heard in the ways you feel most comfortable. Whether it’s to hear yourself for the first time in a long time… or be heard by loving encouragers like me… or hear the healing messages of birdsong and autumn breezes, there is a place for you.

To join me at Omega Institute (Rhinebeck NY) in September, click here > https://www.eomega.org/workshops/soul-shift/soul-shift

To join me at Art of Living Retreat Center (Boone NC) in November, click here > https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/event/faculty/rachel-macy-stafford/soul-shift/

*Both centers are committed to a diverse audience of participants who could not attend without financial support from their foundation. Please message me or the centers if interested in applying for a scholarship.

Image description: In thick, rainbow-colored script is a quote by RMS that says: “We could spare ourselves and each other a lot of pain if we could remember: People just want to be heard.”

23/04/2022

Be careful what you water...