Mindful Therapy Cairns - Equine Therapy

04/05/2026

A poem THE SHIELD

This is a gestalt poem about the things we carry that may be outdated

The shield was never my enemy; it was my protection.

It was that heavy armor I carried to make sure the world couldn't get a crack at the softest parts of me no one knew existed.

It did its job.

It kept me standing when everything else was breaking.

It’s starting to feel heavy carrying it forward although I know I am safe when I carry it.

But when do I give myself permission to notice the battle is over?

I’m still lugging that heavy iron long after the threat has passed, hindering growth.

To cling to the shield is to survive, but it’s also a choice to remain unseen.

I carried it forward, perpetually waiting for a battle.

It was like knowing the most pristine water source was just over the horizon, only to arrive and realize I’d brought my own ‘Keep Out’ sign with me.

Letting go of the shield is utterly terrifying.

It’s being stripped bear with nothing yet to take its place, heading into the darkest night with no light.

But I’ve learned to loosen my grip, one finger at a time.

I let that heavy armour drop from my body until it lands in the dust.

I feel lighter.

I am home.

I can finally breathe.

I say goodbye to my old friend

I choose tools this time, not armour.

Author unknown

01/05/2026

At Mindful Therapy Cairns, we embrace a diverse range of therapeutic modalities to support people through their journeys toward personal growth.

While our work often revolves around horses, we also incorporate various approaches tailored to individual needs.

Art Therapy:

This creative expression allows individuals to explore emotions and experiences in a non-verbal way.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:

(CBT)A structured approach that helps clients understand and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors.

Narrative Therapy:

We encourage clients to share and reshape their personal stories, empowering them to find meaning and strength.

Task-Focused Therapy:

This practical method helps clients set and achieve specific goals, fostering a sense of accomplishment.

Professional Supervision:We provide guidance and support for practitioners, ensuring a high standard of care.

Mindfulness:

Become aware of what happened now and finding a sense of calm.

Our approach is deeply rooted in the understanding that personal growth is a journey that unfolds in its own time.

We cannot rush this process; individuals must be ready to explore their experiences and insights.

By creating a safe and nurturing environment, we facilitate the conditions that allow clients to engage with their own answers and move forward at their own pace.

30/04/2026

What is your relationship with time?

“Measure our days not by what we did, but by how we feel”

… These words relate Kairos (Greek concept) of time.

When we look back are our most joyous moments planned in our schedule?

Our relationship with time influences us every waking moment…

From how organised we are, to what time we arrive, to our online calendars (which, mind you, can now be added to by your boss or co-worker, yikes!), no thanks.

We even schedule our holidays full of activities; there is literally an app for everything telling us where, who, and when we need to be.

We are living in a chronological system (the clock, the calendar and the way we talk about the lifespan) and it has a massive impact on our relationship with time, we are all waking a very liner path.

This relationship with time has its place and importance. Although if it’s the only way we see out time it has the potential to non-planned opportunities, making us miss potential windows of opportunity, chance encounters, and being in the right place at the right time.

Can we modify our relationship with time? Resulting in less restrictive feelings.

This is not fluff, the most life-changing moments happen in these spaces. This is Kairos, an ancient Greek philosophical concept of time.

The Language of Chronos (The Ticking Clock)
Think about the common messages we hear in our dominant social language. They are driven by chronological thinking:
• "I should have had a degree by now… I’m already 30."
• "I will be 98 by the time I pay my house off."
• "Do it while you’re young; those are the best years of your life."
• "I’m free in March 2033."
• "Most people my age have kids and a house."
• "He was 29 when he made his first million."
• "I’m so busy my calendar is full until 2028."
The common message here? Comparison, pressure, despair, and the feeling that "I am not enough." It yanks us out of the present.

Then there is the banter of regret:
• "If I was young like you…"
• "Wait until you're my age, you've got youth on your side."
• "In the blink of an eye, the kids are gone."
• "If I had a time machine, I’d do it all differently."
This messaging is built on fear and remorse. It sounds like small talk, but it carries impactful, heavy weight.

Why Now is Actually Okay?

I am not saying delete your calendars and stop planning. Being organised is a wonderful tool for wellbeing. It becomes a power tool when we take charge of it, rather than letting it dictate every waking moment. (And I am not a fan of people adding to our calendars without consent!).

Chronological Time is measured by the ticking of a clock—the Apple Watch on your wrist or the iPhone in your pocket.

Kairos Time refers to the quality of time. It is where preparation meets promise.

The Language of Kairos:
• "I didn’t organise it; everything just came together perfectly."
• "The stars aligned."
• "The window of opportunity opened, and I took it."
• "It was the golden hour."

These moments create a sense of trust and letting go. Holding things too tightly doesn’t make them happen; often, we need to release our grip to attract what we want.

Master Your Outlook

When we are in a state of stress strangely opportunities seldom turn up.

Try to move towards trusting yourself. Trust that when plans change, you may just be moving towards a new window of opportunity or a chance encounter.

Can we adjust our language with our relationship with time that leaves a message of hope and encouragement?

If we are over-scheduled, it is very hard to welcome the concept of Kairos.

Let us master our outlook, not let it master us.

Let’s try to schedule in a little bit of Kairos time to notice those rare encounters and moments of alignment where something truly profound may happen or maybe its just a sense of relief here, letting us catch our breath, process and then be prepared for our inevitable scheduled moment.

Let’s give ourselves the opportunity say I was in the right place at the right time and it wasn’t planned.

We all deserve a relationship with time to feels supportive not suffocating.

This isn't an excuse to be late, though! 😊

We live in a chronological society that requires respect for others' time.

But in your time, I invite you to welcome Kairos. Even something as simple as taking a moment to check out the stars counts.

Give yourself permission to notice those rare moments of alignment, because you are exactly where you need to be.

Now is actually okay, too. 😊

Can we put a little more trust in timing?

I know I certainly could.

23/04/2026

POWER PLAYS

Often our behaviour is rooted in the biological and evolutionary drive to secure resources, status, and safety.

Because humans are social animals, our survival has historically depended on where we sit within the group hierarchy, ie the workplace or other organised community groups.

In the workplace this often masked although have you ever felt the power play dynamics undercurrent in a meeting or office tearoom.

In a professional sense we can not express this as it would probably get us fired!

So, we see it pushed to a passive aggressive level going under the radar of being pulled into an office for ‘the chat from our boss’.

Passive aggression power play can be most confusing to the receiving, there is no clear behaviour to label.

We find ourselves in a confusing internal storm of questioning our intuition and believing their words creating a distortion of our reality, this is extremely stressful and can cause long lasting emotional damage if we don’t start bringing awareness to this space.

….And we hear from our Boss… please put your concerns in writing…. And we can’t because it’s so hard to label the behaviour.

Hence creating a internal dialogue of starting to question our reality, I must have made that up, I am too sensitive… sort of self talk.

At a primal level, power plays are about predictability and control.

In the wild, knowing who top horse is prevents constant, lethal fighting.

In the office or home, power plays serve as a testing of boundaries to see who can be influenced and who will stand their ground.
In nature, the dominant individual eats first. In modern life this translates to getting the best projects, the higher salary, or the final word in a decision.

We engage in power plays because, subconsciously, being at the bottom feels like a threat to our survival, this is why it is so stressful, it is hitting the survival part of the brain.

The primal instinct masks in political correctness, social etiquette, with a splash of sophistication … and we arrive at passive aggression, with the emotions behind it as powerful as the rearing horse.

Same energy as the rearing horse, now we could put that in ‘writing’ couldn’t we??

this next part is referenced to many sources.......

We haven’t evolved as much as think, see if you can notice power plays at the next meeting, there is a lot of power in conversation.

Common forms in human passive aggression (the rearing horse emotion)

• Information Hoarding: Keeping others in the dark to ensure you are the only one with the keys to a solution.

• The Double Bind: Placing someone in a situation where they lose no matter what they choose, effectively paralysing their self-sufficiency.

• Tone Policing: Focusing on how someone says something rather than what they are saying to deflect from a valid point.



Communication Sabotage

• The "Silent Treatment": Ignoring emails, Slacks, or verbal greetings to make someone feel invisible.

• Selective CC-ing: Intentionally leaving a key person off an email chain to keep them out of the loop, then acting like it was a mistake.

• The..I Forgot… Defense: Repeatedly forgetting to complete tasks or send documents to a specific person to stall their progress.

Covert Resistance

• Weaponized Incompetence: Doing a task so poorly or slowly that you are never asked to do it again, forcing the workload onto someone else.

• The Slow Walk: Agreeing to a project or deadline but finding "unforeseen obstacles" at every turn to ensure it doesn't move forward.

• Backhanded Compliments: "I’m so impressed you managed to finish that report on your own; I know how much you usually struggle with data."

Social Undermining

• The Meeting After the Meeting: Staying silent during the official meeting, then complaining or rallying people against the decision in the breakroom later.

• Plausible Deniability: Making a cutting or sarcastic remark and following it with, "I was just joking! You're so sensitive."

• Chronic Latency: Constantly showing up late to a specific person's meetings as a subtle way to signal that their time isn't valuable.

Feedback Deflection

• Sarcastic Compliance: Doing exactly what was asked in a way that is intentionally malicious or unhelpful to prove a point (e.g., following a rule to the letter even when it's clearly counterproductive).

So please when you are asked to put in ‘writing’, use these terms to describe the behaviours (the rearing horse).

References

• The "Victim" Pivot: When confronted about a mistake, immediately bringing up a time you were "wronged" to shift the focus from your accountability to your hurt feel Mayo Clinic (2023). Passive-aggressive behavior: What are the signs? [Online Resource].
• American Psychological Association (APA). Dictionary of Psychology: Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder.
• Rosenberg, M. (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. (For the techniques on Naming the Gap and avoiding reactive "strikes").
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. (For the science behind Physical Grounding and maintaining a "Solid Stance" under threat).
• ings.

Lara back again :)

The horse receiving the strike (Grounded)

Nature doesn't just produce the striking horse; we can also see the grounded horse. We can choose not to engage although the most important thing is being aware of passive aggressive behaviour and making a choice to anchor yourself.

I must add we do need a cultural shift that has a collective awareness that passive aggression exists especially in the workforce…the place where the masking becomes so thick.

HOPE:

For every instinct to dominate, there is a corresponding human capacity for self-regulation and cooperation.

We have also evolved to recognize that long-term survival is better served by collaboration.

Human nature gives us the impulse to play power games, but our awareness gives us the choice to opt out.

Power plays are as natural as breathing, but they are not mandatory.

Recognizing a power play as a primal reflex (when you feel the power attacked at you, can you picture this image) and choose the remain grounded (so hard to do, becomes easy with practice) rather than a personal attack allows you to stay grounded in your own stance.

And please if you notice passive aggressive tendencies in yourself, it’s far more powerful to express with honest words, ultimately if we have become the rearing horses wearing a smile, we are projecting our insecurities onto others.

We all can do this although get curious where it is coming from… what am I lacking?

I have the power to fulfill my needs without affecting others.

Let’s start talking about passive aggression... openly and curiously, give people the time when they cant find the words... because the power of passive aggressiveness lies in the inability for the receiver to find the words.

When someone is trying to explain... ask questions, help them find the words.... what have you noticed? How does that behavior make you feel? annnnnd back to the old of space of listening.

Its amazing what clarity comes to people when they are listened to.

And if you on the end of it….. you are not too sensitive! You are on the end of the ‘strike’. It’s real

21/04/2026

20/04/2026

A chance encounter….

Today 2 young people crossed my path today and they made a rather large impression on me.

There were no masks just showing up with good intentions and I sensed a solid foundation from them.

They weren’t trying to solve problems or create massive changes, although their presence showed such a strong foundation they created a sense of safety.

They had an open curiosity and respect, stemming from their own solid foundation and integrity in what they were here to do.

It got me thinking… how can we learn from people like this?

I t doesn’t matter what the ‘doing’ is, it’s the intentions behind.

Whether it be interacting with the shop keeper, painting a house or being involved in your local community.

The strength of a tree isn't found in its height or the spread of its branches, it’s found in the roots, the foundation that no one can see.

We often spend our lives trying to plant ourselves in ground that belongs to someone else, following maps laid out by family, society, or the expectations of others.

It’s often the times of solitude and quiet reflection, when we can sit with ourselves for a moment and check in, am I aligned with my values?

Or what even are my values?

True stability comes only when you stop trying to fit into a pre-cut garden….

Have you noticed those beautiful bunnings plants never look the same in your garden after week 2 at home? Why is that?

The process of finding our foundation is not easy, even painful at time although once laid, there is a trust we can lean into, no one can take away.

• The roots grow in private places of your history to find the water they need. No one else has the right to tell you where your nourishment lies.

• A foundation you’ve discovered for yourself doesn't break when things change, yes, they sting for a bit. But there is a sense of trust you have in yourself.

How can you move towards knowing what creates our own unique solid foundation?

We all get swept up in external dynamics such as the tree weathers the storm and looses the leaves.

Although when we know can rely on our roots after the storm passes

Let’s give space and time for people to find their foundation.

16/04/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1BEtaeyrdt/?mibextid=wwXIfr

14/04/2026

Teenagers and Puzzles

The image of those teenagers huddled over a puzzle is such a striking metaphor for the internal work we all do, especially during the transition from childhood to adulthood.

Even without the technical jargon, the scene speaks to a very deep, human process of self-discovery.

When we look at a pile of scattered puzzle pieces, we’re looking at the raw material.

In moments of crisis or big life changes, like the teenage years, the picture we had of ourselves can feel like it’s been bumped off the table.

Finding their individual framework

Watching them work, I noticed their individual starts.

Some need the boundaries first, the straight edges that provide a sense of, this is where I begin and end.

Others are drawn to the brightest colours, the parts of their story that are easiest to see and understand. There is no right way to begin, they just needed to start in their own way.

There’s a beautiful patience in the way they sit together. They are creating a shared quiet, a safe space.
• The Struggle: The frustration of a piece that almost fits but doesn't quite belong yet.
• The Insight: That aha! moment when two parts of the story finally click together.
• The Persistence: The realization that clarity isn't found all at once, but through the small, repetitive act of looking, trying, and waiting and yes sometimes frustration.
• Then ….Clarity… in their own time
Together they work at the art of integration. They’ve shown that even when things feel fragmented and overwhelming, we have the innate ability to sit with the chaos and slowly, piece by piece, craft a version of ourselves that feels whole again.

It’s a reminder that our stories aren't given to us, they are built with time, patience, and the willingness to look at the fragments until they make sense. And to have a place safe enough to do it.

Our stories are built by us and owned by us
Thank you to these teenagers that showed me this today 😊

13/04/2026

Psychotherapy: In the Presence of the Horse not Equine Therapy

In social work we are taught to use reflective practice…I have been reflecting on my work lately and I’m moving toward describing what I do as…

psychotherapy with horses present instead of equine therapy.

What comes to mind when you think of Equine Therapy? .................................................................................................................................................................................................................
It’s a small alteration in words, but a substantial shift in respect, both for the horses and for the depth of the work we do.

A Shared Space: We don’t ask the horse to absorb our emotions and magically get rid of them that wouldn't be fair to them.

Instead, their calm presence helps create a safe, grounded container for you to explore your feelings.

That is the responsibility of the practitioner to hold the emotional space for you, ensuring both you and the horse feel supported.

The Power of letting things settle : In a society that values rigid plans, our sessions often have no set agenda.

When we let go of the ‘doing’ we reveal parts of our internal world that a structured plan could never reach.

Consent & Autonomy: The horse’s consent is vital. These guys are allowed to just be themselves and exist in their paddocks as they are.
We don't force interaction; they choose how to engage.

Imagine a human relationship where you didn't have to ‘perform’ or meet an expectation to be accepted, where you knew you were safe to be your true self.

This is the dynamic we practice in the paddock.
Learning from the Herd: We learn so much observing herd dynamics.

Just as a horse might shake off physical tension after a stressful encounter, we learn to recognise and release the stress we carry in our own bodies.

A horse doesn’t start by kicking they start maybe a pinned ear to say, "I need space." If the other horse listens to the subtle sign, everyone stays calm. Alhtough if the other horse doesn’t listen their communication gets louder.

In our Livess we often ignore our own subtle signs. We feel a small knot in our stomach when we're overwhelmed, but we push through it.

By watching the herd, we learn how to notice our own subtle sign early. We learn that we have a clear choice made before the stress builds.

Authentic Communication: If a horse is annoyed, they show it; they don't pretend to be happy while feeling frustrated.

Think about how much energy we use wearing the mask in our daily lives while feeling disconnected inside.

The horse helps us practice congruence—where what we feel on the inside matches what we show on the outside.

Boundaries without Guilt: We see a horse move away when they need space, and they don't feel guilty about it.

In human terms, it’s like finally giving yourself permission to say no because you're exhausted, without the crushing weight of overthinking it.

We practice what it feels like to meet our own needs. And it okay when the horse moves away, showing us it okay to respect others boundaries for space too.

Its not always personal its just the other persons need.

Connection without Pressure: Sometimes a horse will just stand near you without needing anything from you.

It’s the human equivalent of that rare friend you can sit comfortable with, where there is no pressure to entertain, just the simple safety of being together.

The Micro to the Macro: Our sessions create a micro-environment, a small, safe testing ground where you can practice new ways of being.

The goal is to take what you learn here and transfer it to the macro, your real life, your relationships, and your interactions with people.
The horse doesn’t magically do the healing for us.

They provide the honest, grounded environment that they choose to be in and that allows us bring awareness to ourselves…

When we have awareness, this open up us to choices and looking at issues from different angles and creating change from there when we are ready.

A shout out to the team here at Mindful Therapy, who are just allowed to be themselves in the work that they do 😊 Ready Boss, Huey, Ice and Ra Ra.

May we all feel safe enough to move to environments where we feel we can be ourselves, flaws and all and take a big breath out when we arrive just as the horse does.

08/04/2026

The Apology That Never Comes vs. The Safety You Have Now.

We often think that to heal, we have to find the missing pieces of our story or get an apology from the person who hurt us.

We think ‘the truth will set us free’ but sometimes grasping for that truth keeps us trapped in mentally exhausting thought loops.

But for your Survival Brain—the pinpoint of trauma—truth isn't found in words. It’s found in Safety.

May the ‘addiction to finding the truth’ rest for a moment. Let's move towards finding places where we feel safe.

Because your survival brain (the part that keeps your heart racing and your mind looping) doesn’t care about logic.

We simply cannot think our way out of trauma.

If you can’t find that safety within yourself yet, you have to borrow it until it lands in your own body. It’s a process we have to practice.

What is an Anchor?

It is any person, animal, or place that allows your nervous system to put down the armour and the protective masks we wear.

A Horse: Whose steady heartbeat regulates yours (there is a whole science behind this).

A Safe Person: Someone who doesn’t judge or demand a story for their own intrigue, you feel seen and understood.

Nature: A place that gives you a sense of belonging without needing to ‘be’ anything.

The Neuroscience:
When you are anchored, your brain experiences Co-Regulation. Your internal alarm system (the Amygdala) finally sees a reflection of safety in someone or something else.

Your mind begins to recognise that feeling, learning how eventually to create it on your own.

You don’t have to relive your stories through intellect to heal.

We need SAFETY.

It’s not about the WHY, it’s about the WHERE.

Where do I feel safe?
Where does my body feel soft?
Where can I let out a full exhale?
Where do I feel seen without saying a word?
When you find that safe space—be it a paddock, a therapist’s couch, or beside a lake—welcome it in.

That feeling, right there, is where the processing takes place.

Healing is about anchoring yourself so deeply in that safety that you eventually take control of your story, telling it without activating the survival brain.

Horses are great at this although its just they offer us safety and non judgment, there are also many other anchors available to us.

How can you notice what your anchors are and how can you stay a little longer there?....... even 2 more minute to really feel it.

26/03/2026

The Power of Perception ~ Gestalt Theory~

“We see the world not as it is, but as we are” (Kant)

Gestalt says the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and contexts influence greatly.

This concept has baffled me for somewhat time. So, I explored deeper.

It is said that we often miss the bigger picture in gaining clarity when we just focus on the little parts that make up the entire landscape.

“Can’t see the forest for the trees” is a gestalt perspective.

A practical example of this is teamwork, everyone is assigned a task and complete with the utter most efficiency although they used silo thinking and didn’t consider how all their task would fit together.

Resulting in duplication and lack of interconnectedness in reaching the goal.

Pretty much a puzzle that won’t go together, yet each member did the job although the result was lacking.

Advertising companies such as Google and FedEx use Gestalt in their marketing, it relies on our ability to fill in the blanks, they are successful so there must be something in it. We just wont talk ethics here.

Let us take ownership of how our gaps are being influenced (awareness).

Awareness then gives us far more choice.

The lens in which we see the world is unique from every individual, yet so much conflict and energy is used trying to be understood from our lens getting others to adopt our way of seeing the world.
This creates stressful environments.

No lens is right or wrong, it is just developed differently, we aren’t entering into the space of harming others… there is a wrong situation then.

Our minds have an innate ability to look for patterns over time and then fill in the gaps with those learnt patterns. The image of the tree is a perfect demonstration of this.

Our lens has been created based on our experiences, upbringing, education, relationships and how we have been treated by others.

It’s a well earnt lens because it has kept us safe and allowed us to adapt to our environment.

Although what parts of our lens need updating once the threats are over?

This allows us to grow….

Growth often comes with notion of adding to what we already have, what if growth was about freeing ourselves from some of our outdated historic layering.

Growth is learning new ways to try things, there is always a risk, this just comes with growth.

Can it just be an experiment? ( ……if there is no harm to you or someone else) entering new experiences that little bit lighter and with curiosity could lead us to places.

We also see gestalt in gossip (Chinese whispers), each time the story moves, the next person puts their lens on the story, deviating so far from the facts.

Gossip often involves cognitive shortcuts and oversimplification of the whole picture although next time someone is gossiping… quietly ask yourself how much of their lens is being applied right now.

Gestalt tries to teach us we are safe right here, right now and to become aware of how the mind is filling in the gaps.

The entertainment of the gaps often pulling us so far out the present moment.

Can we have a new experience without optical illusions?

Trust your body has learnt the lessons from past experiences, it will speak loudly when you are entering into an unsafe scenario if we learn to notice sensations in the body.

One of the greatest things we can do is trust our bodies.
Can we give the mind a break for a while?

Let the mind be curious and present.

Attempting to anchor the mind with what is around us at any given time.

We have such a beautiful environment in Far North Queensland, we can notice the temperature, the clear skies (now), the sounds, the rich colors up here, the different textures, the wildlife, in our place we call home.

Even if it’s for 2 minutes, that 2 minutes can change our reaction to our emotions.

Allowing us to make a different decision.

Let’s welcome some sedentary experiences, the most wonderful ideas can come from there.

Let these anchors fill in the innate desire to fill the gaps.

We are so very adaptable; we must give ourselves freedom and permission to try and trying can look uncomfortable at first and clunky although growth often has all of these parts because….
........the whole is greater than the sum of the parts 😊

Tilt your head to the side to see the same picture of the frog and the horse.

Do you notice the tree or the lion and the gorilla first?

How can we invite more curiosity?