16/11/2022
Very good ๐ค
Enormous shifts felt within last 3 days.
Not to say that is over but the energies of the eclipse season are now being well integrated.
Keep on keeping on
HEAL YOUR ATTACHMENT IN 6 STEPS
*Whether you are in relationship or not*
Attachment is an interesting aspect of human relationship.
Essentially it is the way in which we bond.
When our attachment system is impaired, it means that we don't bond well and, as a result, tend towards volatile, painful, problem-filled relationships.
When our attachment system is working well, it means that we are capable of creating secure, stable, loving relationships.
From my perspective, with my fascination for the potentials of relationship to both evolve ourselves and our species, through relationship, this is one of the primary issues to solve if we want that kind of deep love that will ripple out to impact the whole world.
It's not the only thing, yet it certainly is damn important.
In short... you can't have evolutionary intimacy (or even a decent relationship) without healing your attachment system.
Here are, in my opinion, the six core aspects of attachment healing that we can do on our own in preparation for relationship:
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1. Learn to regulate yourself
Without a regulated nervous system: trigger centralโฆ anger, jealousy, anxiety, resentment, avoidance, fear, collapse, closure, contraction
i.e. a life of volatile highs and lows
With a regulated nervous system: relaxation, ease, spontaneous joy, love, an open heart, intelligent conversations, curiosity, play
i.e. stability
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2. Begin healing your childhood wounding
Without wound healing: always needing to manage them in order to feel safe, constant ache of pain and emptiness, depression, anxiety, never able to feel ok, constant on edge fearing abandonment, inability to receive love, toxic relationships, trauma bonding, inability to trust
I.e. a child in an adults body
With wound healing: heart opens, able to feel stable love, ability to receive love, feeling secure, trusting self and the universe, feeling whole inside, self love, relaxed
i.e. a mature adult
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3. Develop healthy boundaries
Without healthy boundaries: inability to say no, codependence, enmeshment, people pleasing, loss of sense of self, walls, avoidance, control, excessive focus on them, toxic empathy
i.e. unable to know self as separate from others
With healthy boundaries: say yes and no appropriately, feel yourself as an independent being, maintain connection to other and yourself at the same time, ability to moderate what information comes into and leaves you (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual)
i.e. knowing self as a whole human capable of connecting with others
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4. Practice vulnerably revealing your inner world
Without revealing yourself: feeling chronically unseen and unheard, never known for who you are, feeling muted, resentment, always listening never expressing, feeling like itโs always about them and never you
i.e. living as a shell of self
With revealing yourself: feeling heard and seen, a sense of your whole self showing up, feeling free in your expression, balancing listening and expressing, companionship and mutuality
i.e. living as a self-expressed human
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5. Start owning your needs, wants and desires
Without owning your needs: chronically feeling unmet, limited chance of needs ever being fulfilled, over-extending self, resentment, unhappiness, feeling insignificant
i.e. living chronically unsatisfied
With owning your needs: opportunity to be in met in your deepest needs and desires, contentment, happiness, knowing your limits, feeling purposeful
i.e. capacity to manifest dreams
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6. Do shadow work
Without shadow work: dysfunctional behaviour patterns, the unconscious rules, sabotage, destruction, chaos, control, corruption
i.e. low vibes
With shadow work: living as your gifts, becoming conscious, collaboration and synergy, functional behaviour, creativity, innovation
i.e. high vibes
Author ~ Damien Bohler
Artist ~ Unknown
