Centre 31

05/08/2025

...."So why were my parents Emotionally Immature?" 🤷‍♀️

This is a question I get alot in my practice so I want to break it down with what I know.

Because emotional maturity isn’t automatic.
It’s not something that magically appears when you have a baby. It’s a skill. And not everyone was taught it (or experienced it).

Some parents grew up in survival mode.
Some were raised in households where emotions were either punished, ignored, or buried in silence.
Some were dealing with their own trauma, mental health issues, addictions, or cultural norms that told them parenting was about control, not connection.

And some just well.... weren’t willing to do the work.

Emotional Immaturity looks like:
- Guilt-tripping instead of listening
- Shutting down or blowing up during conflict
- Making your feelings about them
- Expecting you to be their emotional caretaker
- Never apologising
- Saying things like “you’re too sensitive” or “stop crying or I’ll
give you something to cry about”

You’re not crazy for being affected by this.

You’re also not broken — you’re just wired for PROTECTION, not CONNECTION. And that wiring? It can be changed.

Here’s how you start unlearning it:
🧠 Understand your patterns.
If you grew up managing your parent’s emotions, chances are you struggle to express your own. You might people-please, avoid conflict, or over-function in every area of life. This isn’t your personality — it’s protection.

🪞 Name your triggers.
Conflict, rejection, emotional distance — all of these can send you into a spiral. Not because you’re dramatic, but because they touch old wounds. Recognising your triggers gives you the power to respond instead of react.

💬 Practice emotionally mature communication.
This means saying things like:
“I need some space to process.”
“That hurt me — can we talk about it?”
“I’m not okay right now, but I’m working through it.”

If you’ve never heard those things growing up, they’ll feel weird at first. Do it anyway. That’s how your going to break the cycle.

🧯 Learn to self-regulate.
Your nervous system is the blueprint. If you feel unsafe when someone’s upset, distant, or disappointed in you — that’s the old stuff. You can learn to sit in discomfort without self-abandoning.

🧼 Clean the emotional house.
Start calling out the internalised rules you inherited:
“I have to be easy to be loved.”
“I’m responsible for how others feel.”
“If I mess up, I’ll be rejected.”

Those aren’t facts. They’re echoes. Replace them.

🤝 Get support.
You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy, coaching, safe friendships — anything that gives you a consistent emotional mirror will help you grow faster than trying to work it out in your head at 2am.

And when you do?

You become the one in your family who chose to grow up emotionally — even if no one else ever did.

You become the blueprint.

- Chan x

24/06/2025

Did you know I am a Registered Behavioural Support Practitioner with the NDIS

ID: P1127076

If you’re parenting a child with a disability, navigating behaviours of concern can be exhausting, emotional, and at times completely overwhelming.

This is where a Behaviour Support Practitioner can make all the difference.

I walk alongside families, carers, and support teams to understand the “why” behind behaviours. Because here’s the truth:

👉 All behaviour is communication.
And when someone is struggling to express pain, discomfort, frustration or anxiety — their behaviour does the talking.

That’s where a Functional Behaviour Assessment (FBA) comes in. An FBA looks beyond the surface. It helps us:

✔️ Identify the purpose or function of the behaviour
✔️ Pinpoint triggers and patterns
✔️ Explore what’s working, what’s not, and what the person is really trying to tell us
✔️ Create a clear, individualised support plan that reduces harm and increases dignity, safety, and wellbeing

A good practitioner doesn’t just see the behaviour.
They see the person, the context, and the potential.

If your family could benefit from this kind of support — or you just want to learn more about how behaviour support works — reach out.

12/06/2025

🌞 Struggling with chaotic mornings? You're not alone — and you're not doing anything wrong.

Kids with ADHD often need a little extra structure to start the day with calm and confidence.

Here are 4 tips that can make mornings smoother, more predictable, and way less stressful:

✅ Create a visual schedule
🧠 Prepare the night before
⏰ Use timers or alarms
🏃‍♂️ Take movement breaks

Small changes = BIG impact.

✨ These strategies aren’t about “fixing” your child — they’re about working alongside their mind, not against it.

30/05/2025

You can have a six-pack or all the possessions in the world and still hate yourself in the mirror.

Self-worth isn’t just built in the gym and shops. It’s built in the hard stuff — when no one’s watching.

Ready to build real self-worth? 💪

Check out my range of resources coming soon!

13/05/2025

Did you know we have a page on Etsy where I create resources for you to utilise.

This is just one of the ones we have available.

Going to therapy? Don’t let the good stuff slip between sessions.

I made a Therapy Reflection Kit for people who always *mean* to write things down... but forget.

✨ Track what’s come up
🧠 Prep for sessions
🪞 Reflect after

It’s printable AND digital—use it in a binder or on your iPad.
Perfect for you, or someone you know who wants to get *more* out of therapy.

📥 Grab it here on Etsy 👇

This Journals & Notebooks item by ChanJonesTherapy has 3 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from United States. Listed on May 12, 2025

09/04/2025

💡 Did You Know Your Face Can Trick Your Brain?
Yep. Science says your smile might just be smarter than you.

According to the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, your facial expressions don’t just "show" how you feel—they can actually "change" how you feel.
😐 → 🙂 = 😄

In other words: Smile, and your brain gets the memo that you're happy.
Frown? Your brain’s like, “Uh-oh, we must be stressed. Better release some cortisol.”

So next time you're in a funk, try this weird (but legit) brain hack:
Hold a pencil between your teeth like you're smiling.
No really—researchers tested it. People felt "happier" just by activating those smile muscles.

Your brain’s out here reading your face like it’s a mood decoder.
So go ahead—smirk your way into a better day.

🧠 + 😁 = ❤️

Chan x

04/04/2025

Do You Know What Kids Really Want in a Parent 🧐

When kids become teenagers we really feel like we are always getting it wrong... lets be honest its bloody confusing at times.

But hey... I work with teens day in and day out and these are the three things I keep coming back to they need from us.

👉 They don't want perfection they want honesty.
👉 They need you to be present and chill a little.
👉 They need eye contact of the good kind... A ‘I see you’ even when they’re being a bit prickly.

When I ask the teens I work with what they really needed from their parents, it wasn’t more rules or better routines (although these are great). It was connection, any. kind. of. connection.

And connection is built in those quiet moments and the hardest days.

Chan x

10/03/2025

Work vs Home 🏡

It’s so easy to come home after a long day feeling completely spent. You’ve given your energy to work, handled all the demands, and by the time you walk through the door, there’s not much left for the people you love most. It’s not intentional…. it’s just hard to switch off that work mode.

Maybe you’ve noticed it before: you get home, drop your bag, someone asks you a simple question, and you feel that flash of irritation. All you want is a moment to breathe, but instead, you end up feeling guilty for not being more present with your family.

That’s why giving yourself a small buffer between work and home can make such a difference. Before you walk inside, try sitting in the car for a few minutes. Take a deep breath. Let your shoulders relax. Give yourself permission to let go of the day.

Use that time to think about how you want the evening to feel. Do you want to have a quiet moment with your partner? Connect with your kids over dinner? Or maybe just enjoy some calm without the weight of the day hanging over you?

That pause helps create a gentle shift — from work to home, from doing to being. It’s not about perfection; it’s about allowing yourself to settle so you can show up in a way that feels good for you and the people you care about. Those few minutes might seem small, but they can change your whole evening even if it’s only as long as listening to your favorite song.

27/01/2025

Safe Spaces for Happy Kids 🏡

Kids thrive when they feel safe—not just physically, but emotionally too. Creating a secure space at home is one of the most powerful ways to support their growth and healing.

✨ 4 Easy Ways to Create a Safe Space at Home:

1️⃣ Cozy Corners: A calm-down corner with cushions, sensory toys, or their fave blanket = instant comfort.

2️⃣ Talk It Out: Let them know their feelings are welcome. “It’s okay to feel this way” can go a long way.

3️⃣ Stick to Routines: Consistent schedules create a sense of stability and security.

4️⃣ Give Them Choices: Whether it’s picking their PJs or their dinner plate, little decisions build big confidence.

26/01/2025

Taking Care of You 💛

Parenting is a full-on, 24/7 gig, and let’s face it—navigating trauma while trying to juggle life? That’s next-level hard. Here’s the truth: you can’t be the superhero your kids need if you’re running on empty. 🦸‍♀️

Here’s how to prioritise YOU while still being an awesome parent:
1️⃣ Claim a Non-Negotiable 10 Minutes: Whether it’s a morning coffee in peace or a walk around the block, carve out time just for yourself and it may need to be before they wake up!

2️⃣ Laugh Out Loud: Watch your favourite comedy show or scroll through some memes—laughter is a quick recharge!

3️⃣ Say “No” Without Guilt: Protect your time and energy—it’s okay to say no to things that drain you.

4️⃣ Create a “You” Zone: Whether it’s a corner of your home or a playlist of feel-good tunes, have a go-to space that helps you reset.

What’s your favourite self-care hack that actually works?
Stay tuned for my Self-Care Toolkit for Parents, launching soon. It’s packed with practical, real-life tips to help you recharge without adding more to your plate.

25/01/2025

Managing Transitions in Life

Big changes—like starting school, moving, or welcoming a new sibling—can feel like a rollercoaster for kids. 🎢 While transitions are part of life, they can leave kids feeling anxious or unsure. But here’s the good news: with the right support, these moments can also teach them resilience and adaptability.

Here are 4 ways to help your child navigate life’s changes with confidence:
1️⃣ Talk About It: Start the conversation early. Let them know what’s coming and answer their questions honestly.

2️⃣ Keep Some Things Familiar: Whether it’s their bedtime story or a favourite toy, familiar routines and items create a sense of safety.

3️⃣ Practice the Change: If possible, visit the new school, house, or environment before the transition. Helping them visualise the change can ease their anxiety.

4️⃣ Acknowledge Their Feelings: Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous, excited, or even a bit scared. “I get it—it’s a big change. We’ll get through this together!”

Transitions don’t have to be overwhelming.

PS: My Parenting Toolkit is launching soon and will include a guide packed with practical strategies for navigating life’s big transitions.

23/01/2025

The Sleep Connection 🛏️

Did you know sleep is like a superpower for your child’s mental health? 🦸‍♂️ When kids get enough quality rest, they’re more focused, less cranky, and better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life.

But let’s be real—getting kids to sleep isn’t always easy. Here’s how you can help them drift off into dreamland:

🌙 Keep it Consistent: Same bedtime, every night. It’s like a VIP ticket to better sleep.
🌙 Power Down: Say goodnight to screens at least 30 minutes before bed—blue light can mess with their sleep vibes it really is a thing.
🌙 Create a Chill Zone: Soft lighting, cozy blankets, and maybe a calming story can set the tone for snooze success.

What’s your secret weapon for bedtime battles? Share it in the comments—I’d love to know! And don’t worry, my Sleep Toolkit is coming soon with even more practical tips to help your whole family get the rest they need.