29/12/2024
My name is Terri AKA the famous MUMMA T
A survivor who lost my childhood best friend to homicide! With no justice. The hands and face behind XANDERBLUES 💙
THIS IS MY STORY….
At 14, I buried my best friend. A friend I’d spent everyday with since I was 5 years of age. She was my absolute partner in crime and a day never went by without a walk to the beach or a hug.
In grade 8 at age 14 my world was torn apart when she was ripped away from me in the worst possible circumstances. MURDERED! 3kms from our home and those responsible never prosecuted!
From that day forward I spent my days anxious, short of breath, suffered panic attacks, isolation, loneliness, survivors guilt, and often
Paralysis of the mind and the body!
BUT MY GREATEST FEAR BECAME THE DARK!
In 2013 when I was 29 years of age and still so afraid to be alone by night, my often shift working husband bought me my very first Stafford! My QUEEN Z 👑 Zara was purchased as my protector, the thing to help me sleep and calm my nights, but when I met her, she became my everything! That and MORE… not only did this beautiful soul keep me safe, she kept me sane! This girl taught me when my anxiety levels were becoming unsafe and preparing for panic, she taught me trust, unconditional love and faith, she showed me that with her love and her paw, we would walk together through the dark of COMPLEX PTSD TOGETHER…
Now, Zara was purchased from Bluecrew. Born on March 3rd 2013, she was the most beautiful blueberry I had ever seen in my life, she was purchased as a pet only! However when she opened my heart and began to heal my soul I knew that together we could make a difference!
I approached her breeder and he fully supported the road I had chosen to take! By 2015 I had become registered, Zara and I had researched more about Staffords than she even knew, we became training enthusiasts and set our path for the grand formation of XANDERBLUES 💙
Zara’s first mating took place during a hospitalisation of mine, due to extreme mental health we slept seperate for 4 weeks, however my husband bought her to me every single day. In my absence Zara and Him along with Jade AKA Rustyblues , they created my first babies! They gave me purpose and reason to push myself harder to get home, to where I belonged.
THATS MY BEGINNING…..
Since this day I have bred an amazing amount of wonderful babies, I have buried my Queen 😭💔 I have rehomed some of my most treasured, I have revived babies, buried sleeping babies, had endless nights of no sleep, round the clock feeding, weighing, temperament testing, training, sharing knowledge, being on the phone for others, guiding and mentoring, matching perfect pairs, desexing some of the best, breeding some of the incredible, but most of all I’ve continued on my mental health journey!
THIS IS WHY I CHOSE TO BREED….
During this time I have become extremely well known for my lines, my dedication, my ethics, my type, but most of all my reputation.
Many of you can pick a Xanderblue in the street, and that makes me so PROUD!
During my decade in the dog world, I have chosen to ignore those who judge, I’ve chosen not to show my dogs, nor to pen my dogs, raise my puppies outside or retaliate to those who have had anything negative to say. Zara taught me better than that!
I have chosen to breed what I have for MENTAL HEALTH! I have had many babies go on to become therapy dogs, with their jackets! Learn the signs and signals , react appropriately and most of all live with every inch of their being.
SO IT ENDS💙
I promised Zara I would give her a decade of my dedication, in all honesty I never thought I’d be able to give it away! I never thought the day would come where I would be strong enough.
But here it is! As I approach 2025 in just 2 days time, my final litter has left the building! FOR THE FINAL TIME, I kissed my babies goodbye and thanked them for 8 weeks of therapy, 8 weeks of purpose, 8 weeks of love, 8 weeks of joy, 8 weeks of lack of sleep but most of all 8 weeks of staying out of my own head.
TO YOU 💙
My beautiful people, my dedicated, respectful, honourable people I THANK YOU!
For everything….
My boots have now been hung, and whilst I sit in tears as I write to you from the rawest part of my soul, it’s time to sign off!
I CAN NOT SAY NEVER…. Because that would be setting myself up to fail.
However Xanderblues is closing this chapter, we have at this stage no intentions of returning. But if life gets hard, and I loose all of my coping strategies, my heart becomes empty and my mind becomes weak, I loose sight of a future without my blueberries in it then there may be a day when I return. NEVER is forever and that’s a promise I cannot make.
I will still be here for all my puppies, their families and my followers.
If you need me, you know where I am.
I believe I have gained the respect I have because I am real, I am raw and I am honest!
I never proclaimed to be anything other than what I am 💙
Sending all my love and well wishes to you all heading into 2025
Peace out ✌🏼
MUMMA T
