19/08/2025
Please please please stop telling women “at least you have a healthy baby”.
I know you mean well and you’re trying to find silver linings, but it can be dismissive and can completely ignore the depth of experience and the complexity of birth. Plus, it may also shut someone down who is keen to debrief their birth with you…
Of course women are grateful their baby is healthy, but there’s often a lot below the surface and this above is just a fraction of it.
If you’re hearing a birth story that feels like a lot and you’re at a loss for words, try these kinder sentences:
💭 “that sounds really tough, do you want to talk about it?”
💭 “I’m so glad Bub is here and healthy, and I want to know how YOU are too…”
💭 “your feelings about birth are valid, even with a healthy baby”
💭 “I’m here anytime you want to talk about it and I’m ready to listen”
💭 “I’m so sorry your birth didn’t unfold how you’d hoped, it’s okay and valid to grieve that”
💭 “you did such a great job navigating everything, how are you feeling about it?”
If you’re lucky enough to hear a birth story, please truly hear the mother, validate her experience and be a safe space… she needs you to ❤️
