03/11/2025
Over the weekend, my partner and I attended a powerful women's event called Voices of the Wild, organised by Fiona Sing High Sing Low
One of the activities we were guided in, involved partnering up with another woman, and taking turns being blindfolded, while the other chose from a magical box of nature things, and handed them to you, one at time, so that you could experience, feel, get curious and notice whatever else came up for you as you held each mystical item.
At the end, we are invited to reflect on what the experience was like for us, and this is what my activity-partner came up with, because she recognised the inherent vulnerability involved in my trusting that she was caring for me, while I was in a situation where I couldn't do so for myself . This woman knew nothing about me at all, past my name, so that made it all the more powerful when I read these words.
Many of us carry very deep and painful wounding, that still lingers from childhood, because the adults around us exploited and manipulated us or didn't care to think much about our innocence - they didn't see our soft skin, curious minds, fiery natures as something to protect and cherish - and we carry the aftermath of that neglect... the scars and the 'squandering' ... to this day.
It shows up in the partners we choose, the way we parent/ed our own children, the friends we keep, the habits we develop, the way we take care of ourselves, how well we are able to speak up for ourselves, our people pleasing ways and how we view ourselves.... and many other ways besides.
If you experienced a childhood full of abuse and trauma, you did not get the childhood you deserved. And while we are all, of course, responsible for our actions and behaviours as adults, the struggles you wrestle with most likely did not start with you, and are NOT your fault.
The problem is many women demonise and judge themselves for their perceived 'failings'. The messaging and treatment they received as children, can often continue to be perpetuated against them, by themselves, as they try to navigate the world without the resources that people who didn't have to struggle so hard, were able to develop or tap into.
I get it can feel like there is no way through. That it's hopeless. That you are destined to just keep repeating the same patterns. That it's too late....
But I have seen women who felt and thought this way go on to make huge strides in their own growth, and to make inter-generational impacts in the lives of not only their children, but their grandchildren as well. What a legacy!
Is it quick and easy? Hell no. It's long and bloody painful. Decades of pain and trauma are going to take more than a minute to even begin to resolve, and the truth is you may never attain a 'fully healed' status - but what you will develop is greater self-compassion, deeper self-love and more meaningful connections that will improve the over all quality of your life, open up new opportunities and help you discover moments of joy that linger for longer an second.
The only reason I do this work, is because I've seen with my own eyes what is possible for women who are ready and willing to walk this path. If things couldn't get better - I'd just go join a monastery or take care of elephants somewhere ethical.
Things can get better. And if you want to get started on a new way forward, I'm here, ready to walk beside you.
