MamaManon, trauma informed parenting support

01/07/2025

Co-regulation is not about us doing something to our child.

Co-regulation starts with us taking care of our own self-regulation.

If we start doing things to our child, telling them "take a breathe" or "slow down", they will feel that we're trying to get them to do something, that we're trying to change them, that what they're doing is wrong ... and that can make them feel more activated.

Our kids will likely resist our attempts to "get them regulated".

The good news is that most of the time, we don't need to DO anything TO our child.

-> When WE self-regulate, our child's nervous system will (unconsciously) notice the difference.

Co-regulation starts with our own self-regulation.

When we self-regulate:
🧡 our face relaxes,
🧡 our breathing slows down,
🧡 our heartbeat slows down,
🧡 our movements are softer,
🧡 our voice becomes more melodic,
🧡 and our eyes are able to make soft eye contact.

These behaviours are sending "Cues of Safety" to our child.
It is an unconscious process but a powerful one.

👉 When we self-regulate (and all the above happens in our body, face and voice), our child's brain and body feel a higher level of INNER SAFETY and naturally down-regulates.

So when you feel that your child is accelerating,
and becoming a little dis-regulated,
how would it be to take a pause for yourself,
and focus your own self-regulation?

With Love xx
Manon

26/06/2025

If you have any kind of illness, you might to watch this movie this weekend.

Joe Dispenza is a world renown neuroscientist that has created a specific type of meditation that helps people heal (in a big way.).

We always knew that meditation was beneficial for our mental health, but Dr Dispenza and his team have been able to prove scientifically how it can set our mind and body (cells, genes and DNA) into a state of healing.

His research, along with many testimonials of people having completely healed from what their doctors called "terminal cancer" or "incurable disease" are displayed in a beautiful documentary called "SOURCE, it's within you".

"SOURCE, it's within you" is usually available on his website for $30 USD but this weekend (from the 27 to the 29th), he's making it available to everyone for FREE.

I can't recommend this movie enough.

If you or anyone in your family has been struggling with any kind of disease, please let them know about this documentary.

With love,
Manon

Experience a powerful return to the stories, science, and healing that continue to unfold. Watch the documentary plus exclusive, new interviews, updated research, and personal progress revealed three years later.

18/06/2025

Invitations to connect ✨

Sometimes, our children can do annoying things.
You know the little things... that are little... but very annoying...?

😬 Like climbing on your back just as you've bent down to pick up the washing basket...?
😬 Or lying across the pillow as you're about to lie your head down on it for the night (my daughter does that almost every night)...?
😬 Or making a barrier with their body to stop you from rushing towards the kitchen?

They are little things... but they can be so annoying!!

Yet, like everything else that our children do, they have a purpose.

👉 These annoying things are your child's INVITATIONS TO CONNECT with you.

👣 By jumping on your back as you bend down, your child is saying "mum, I need some physical contact with you" or "I want to play piggy-back with you.".. I need a moment of connection.

👣 By lying across the pillow at night, my daughter is saying "mum I'm not ready to disconnect from you for the night yet, pretend that I'm your pillow and let's have a laugh together"... She's asking for a moment of connection.

👣 By making a barrier with their body, they're saying "mum, you've been rushing along all morning, stop, look at me and play with me for 10sec"... they're inviting a moment of connection.

You can trust that if your child is asking for attention, it's because he _truly_ needs it.

It can feel like a clumsy way to ask for connection, but it's the best they can do in that moment.

👉 And it only takes a _ moment _ to offer our child this connection.
A few seconds of loving and playful attention.

When he jumps on your back:
😍 "Oh hello little koala! You're coming for a cuddle on my back! Let me give you a hug."

When she lies down on my pillow:
😍 "Oh what a comfortable pillow I have here! It's very squishy and warm! Oh but it's wriggling now, I can't sleep like that, stop wriggling little pillow!!"

When they make a barrier:
😍 "Oh there is a barrier here... is there a password or a key for it or do I need to pay to pass through?"

A moment of connection.
A few seconds.

🧡 To stop and look at their eyes,
🧡 to offer some nurturing touch,
🧡 and some loving or playful attention.

The day is full of micro-moments like these.

We have the choice:
-> To see these moments as annoying and push our child away, creating more disconnection.
-> Or to see these moments as an invitation to connect, and take a few seconds to meet our child's legitimate need for connection.

A few seconds of connection can go a long way in a child's day.

With Love xx
Manon

PS: I wrote this post 5 years ago, when my daughter was 5yo and it's still so relevant...

11/06/2025

"I'm struggling to cry in front of my kids"

You're not alone.
I've worked with dozens of mums who feel this way...

Here are a few things you might want to know:

- Crying in front of our kids helps them realise that there is nothing wrong with them when they cry. We all cry, as humans.

- Crying is not "falling apart". Crying a healthy release of stress and emotions and it's important to let the tears flow when they come up. Modelling that for our children means that they're less likely to "keep it all in".

- Crying is not "being weak". Allowing ourselves to cry, and to be seen when we cry is actually a courageous act of vulnerability.

- Crying shows that we care (for example about something that has happened in the past or about someone we love).

- When someone opens up and share their vulnerable tears with us, we often feel closer to them. It's true with our children too: allowing ourselves to cry with them can strengthen our bond with them.

👉 Crying in front of our kids is more than okay.

The only thing we want to be careful with, when it comes to crying with our kids, is to not make them feel that they have to take care of us.
We don't want to "parentify" our child.

So we make it clear that despite the fact that we're crying, we are okay, and that they don't need to do anything for us:

"I'm feeling sad right now, but I'll feel better soon.
We always feel better after having a cry."

03/06/2025

Parenting Support ✨

Am I still offering online sessions?

Yes!

I know, I haven't been present at all on social media lately but I'm still here :-)

Working with parents has been my passion for almost 10 years and I don't think I'll ever stop...

I've just been enjoying studying this year, using all the time I have (between sessions with clients and time with my daughter) to keep expanding my skills, hence my absence on this page.

So this post is just to say:

"Yes, I'm still here!"

Feel free to send me a message and we'll find a time that works for you and I to meet online, wherever you are in the World.

20/03/2025

How to recognise the fawn response in ourselves and our children ✨

We've talked so far about the fight, the flight and the freeze response.
The fawn response is another survival response.

Our nervous system might opt for the fawn response when we feel endangered, but we feel that we can APPEASE the threatening person in front of us.

🧡 Appeasing can take a few forms: becoming over-polite, being very obedient, putting up a fake smile, making ourselves very helpful, complying, making jokes to lighten the atmosphere, etc.

🧡 Because it's a survival response, it's felt in the body.
We can feel tension in our muscles and our eyes, our heart is pumping and our breathing is fast and shallow.

🧡 When we're in a fawn response, we focus on the person who we perceive as dangerous and tend to forget about ourselves, our own needs and our boundaries.

Many of us are in an almost chronic state of fawn because we've learnt that we have to please the other, or to be a "good girl/boy" to stay safe (or to be loved). In this state, we have a hard time knowing what we like, what we want, it's difficult to speak up for ourselves and to set boundaries.

In kids, we can see the fawn response as well:
When feeling threatened (by an angry parent, a teacher, another child, ...
👣 they might become very obedient, being a very good girl/boy in a rigid way,
👣 they might make cute faces or polite smiles,
👣 or might start being "silly", making jokes or do funny things, to make people laugh (to lighten things up).

Just like the other survival responses, either ourselves or our children choose to go into a fawn response, it happens automatically in our nervous system when we perceive a threat.
❤




With love,
Manon

Art by MemoryCartoons

16/03/2025

Recognising the Freeze Response in ourselves and our children ✨

Our nervous system will opt for the Freeze response when whatever is happening feels too intense or when we feel that we can't 'fight' or 'flight'.

The freeze is a shut-down state.

Numbing (not feeling our body) and dissociation (the feeling of "leaving our body") often come with the freeze response.

You know how it feels...

👉 Have you ever had a big explosion (yelling at your kids) and then feeling lots of guilt and shame?
Feeling numb, disconnected from everyone around, lethargic, and like if you were in your own dark world, with no exit...?

That's the freeze response.

👉 Or have you ever found yourself unable to set a limit or to speak up for yourself?

That's the freeze response at play.
We all know it, we've all been there...

👣 Children have this same response in their systems and might go into freeze when things feel too intense, too scary or when they feel they can't fight or flight (which is often the case, because they're little), or when they feel they can't succeed at a task.

👣 They shut down.

👣 It looks like they're not behind their eyes anymore (often starring into space). Their body might look collapsed, very tired, unmotivated.

👣 It might look like they're not hearing what you say or can't comprehend it (which is actually the case, since the internal ear muscles and the connection to the rational brain change when one in survival mode).

👣 They can't answer you, they can't quite move, they can't do what you ask them.

That's the freeze response.

Just like we don't chose to go into a freeze response, they don't either.
Our nervous systems simply do that automatically when things feel too intense.

Let me know if that's helpful and if you have any question 🙏🏻




With love,
Manon

11/03/2025

How to recognise the FLIGHT response in ourselves and our children ✨

When our brain or body perceives a danger or a threat, our nervous system mobilises our body into a survival response.

It can be the fight, the flight, the fawn or the freeze response.

The FLIGHT response is the one that allows us to run away, escape or hide from the threat.

The mobilisation happens in our body:

👉 Our heartbeat accelerates, pumping blood to our legs and arms so that we can run efficiently.
Our breathing accelerates too.

👉 Our vision narrows and our eyes move fast to find an escape or a place to hide.

👉 Our thoughts come up as "feeling trapped", being scared, worried or feeling anxious.

When in survival, our rational brain "disconnects", so it's nearly impossible to focus, reason or learn in this state.

👣 In ourselves, we can recognise the flight response by noticing what happens in our body: we feel fidgety, it's difficult to slow down and focus, and our thoughts go in loops, over-analysing things.

👣 In our children, we can recognise the flight response by observing their behaviour: their eyes are scanning the environment, they're fidgety, agitated or hyperactive, they can't stay in one spot, they can't focus, or they're worried or anxious.
(Children whose nervous systems are in a flight response are often labelled as ADHD).

Neither ourselves nor our children choose to be in this state.
It's an AUTOMATIC response to a perceived threat.

I invite you to observe and notice this survival response in yourself and your children.
Bringing awareness and compassion is a first important step. ❤




With Love,
Manon

06/03/2025

Recognising the FIGHT response in ourselves and our children ✨

When our brain has perceived a threat in the environment, our smart nervous system sets our body up for a survival response.

👉 Our heart beats faster to send more blood to our extremities (arms and legs) so that we can fight against or defend ourselves from the perceived threat.

👉 Our vision narrows to focus on it.

👉 Our muscles tense up, especially those of our neck, arms and legs, ready to defend or fight.

With all this energy inside of our body, we become agitated:
Our fists and our jaw want to clench, our feet want to stomp, we feel the need to growl, bite or yell, to hit or to push.

Then our brain, trying to make sense of this activation in our body, creates a narrative...

When we're in a fight response, the narratives in our head are all about blaming (ourselves and others), being angry (at ourselves or someone else), being defensive, etc.

Do you recognise the fight response in yourself?

What about in your children?
Have you ever seen them feeling angry, stomping their feet, wanting to push, yell or bite?

If so, it's likely that in that moment, their brain has perceived a threat and is trying to keep them safe from it.
❤




With Love,
Manon

08/07/2024

What is Spinal Flow?

Spinal Flow is a gentle form of body work that supports the body to release accumulated stress:
🌪 Physical stress (from injuries and repetitive movements)
🌪 Emotional stress (from trauma and unprocessed emotions)
🌪 Chemical stress (toxins in what we eat, drink, inhale or absorb)

Why getting rid of stress in the body?
👉 Because the accumulated stress in our body is responsible for our pains and unwanted symptoms.

How does it work (in a nutshell)?
We stimulate the body's innate healing capacity by making contact with specific points along the spine and the cranium (head).

The gentle touch provided supports the regulation of the nervous system and the restoration of the communication pathways to the different organs and systems of the body, allowing for profound healing.

It works for people of all ages (including babies).
It is practiced fully clothed and doesn’t involved any form of manipulation or cracking.

It’s very gentle, yet powerful ✨

The depth of healing we can get with Spinal Flow is incredible.
I'm looking forward to sharing it with you!

Send me a message here or go directly to my website to book an initial assessment: https://www.mamamanon.com/spinal-flow

And if you live on the Sunshine Coast near Maleny, make sure to follow my MindBody page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61560426930363

Warmly,
Manon

30/06/2024

Who's created Spinal Flow?

The Spinal Flow® Technique was developed by Dr Carli Axford over 20+ years of study, research and clinical observation.

She has a double degree in chiropractic and spent time at the world renowned Texas Back Institute before combining her extensive experience with her studies in India and in many other modalities.

She's studied the effects of stress on the nervous system, the mind and the body, and recognised that using the power of the body’s innate healing ability is the best way to treat pain, illness and dis-ease.

After refining her methods to find the most effective way to help people heal, the Spinal Flow® Technique was born.

This technique is so efficient that she's now teaching it everywhere in the World, to hundreds of students at a time! ✨

She now lives on the Gold Coast, with her husband and two children.

Carli is such an inspiration to me: caring, loving, intelligent and passionate, she's driven by her mission to reduce stress and pain in as many people's lives as possible.

I feel so lucky to have her as my teacher, and to be on this mission with her 😊

03/06/2024

Turn your children into an apple tart! :-)

A great connection game to boost our attachment with them

The Apple Tart Game

A lovely Mama called Jeanne shared this game with me