
27/07/2025
🌿NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS SIDE OF HEALING🌿
The quiet grief that creeps in once the anger fades.
The moment you realise you deserve an apology, but know that it will never come.
You mourned someone who never actually existed.
A version of your parents you needed…
the one who knew how to hold you, to hear you, protect you, tell you how to face everything and that you aren’t alone.
But you are.
You start to see the patterns in them…
Their survival, their silence, in systems that punished resilience.
So, you stop expecting emotional depth from someone who was never given emotional language.
But it doesn’t mean the pain disappears.
It just shifts.
From rage to grief.
From longing to letting go.
And that’s where the real healing begins.
You can’t fix them. And you can’t change their past.
But you can learn how to change things for your future.
We all had a parent who couldn’t give us what we needed, but it’s when we start to see our parents didn’t have that either, that we understand our grief, is actually theirs.
THAT recognition, is what begins to heal. If we can recognise we were just a mirror of them growing up, that we are also carrying everything they ever needed, use that compassion in your heart, for it will heal you and lift the weight of grief.
It happened for me.