22/08/2024
Some people have a LOT of opinions. And they certainly like to share them (!!) - irrespective of how helpful (or not), how respectful (or not), or just plain hurtful they are. It's one thing to do 'the work' and to pursue a life that is wildly true to you... it's a whole other thing having to navigate it within the world of opinionated people.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘵? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘳. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰. 𝘞𝘩𝘺'𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭-𝘱𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘫𝘰𝘣? 𝘞𝘩𝘺'𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘳?
One of my favourites, Brene, refers to the Roosevelt speech about the man in the arena. But when it comes to guiding friends, clients, (and myself!) through this stuff, I love this part: "It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better."
(The speech goes on to describe the courage and the vulnerability of the man in the arena.)
But the critic is the one sitting in the stands - in the cheap seats - with popcorn, throwing taunts and judgment. It may be masked as "feedback" but, unless they're in the arena with you, unless the life they're living is one you respect, admire, or aspire to, then their feedback is not welcome. It is just unwanted opinions.
So, if you find yourself wobbled by some opinions or some "feedback" from those around you, ask yourself if it's coming from the cheap seats or from the arena. And then proceed accordingly.
