01/12/2024
On Thursday, my world basically came crumbling down because of Christmas lights π« .
This pregnancy (and just 2024 in general) has not been easy. There has been so much stress, hormonal changes, overwhelm, and last week, it just became too much, and I cracked.
I had been trying to put up the tree since LAST weekend, and it just wasn't happening for so many reasons. When i eventually got the boxes in the house and put up the tree, i noticed the plug for the lights was missing π« . Ok, reschedule again. Went and bought new lights on Thursday, didn't look at the length properly, came home, opened the box, and found it was about 1.5m of actual lights, the rest was cord ππ. That was the straw, I broke down and cried cos Christmas was ruined, i just wanted a nice tree as I love decorating the tree and it was all just ruined.
Abigail, bless her, tried to tell me it was fine, we dont need lights, but it wasn't helping. I cried for about half an hour until hubby walked in, and then it started again. Abigail couldn't handle seeing me upset, so she started crying and wouldn't come out if i was still crying π« π₯.
Hubby did the tree with the kids, I couldn't actually bring myself to do it. I had to leave the room, and i just laid on the bed for an hour. I even cancelled everything i had planned friday (even Abigail going to school) cos i just couldn't.
This weekend away came at the best time because i didn't realise how close i was to crashing π₯. Just getting away from the house, the perceived expectations, everyday responsibilities was everything. We did nothing special but just spent time together, and it was what was needed for the soul.
I still hate the tree π€£, but at least now im ok with looking at it (mostly), knowing the kids had fun doing it.
Im actually excited for 2025 because it will be the year of LESS everything and MORE family β€οΈ.