14/07/2025
When emotions feel full on and our patience feels thin, our body is asking for support and space to recalibrate to befriend ourself again, so we can then be more friendly to others too.
The reticular activating system (RAS) - our internal stress meter - filters what our brain pays attention to. When we are stretched & feel stressed out, it is because the RAS becomes hyper-alert, picking up every sound, mess or unmet need & we become over reactive. Then our amygdala activates our fight-or-flight response, making reactions feel even more quicker and more intense. Our brain literally gets hijacked & this can make us feel like we have no control over our handling of situations.
These responses aren’t wrong - they’re signs our system needs regulation.
Our children are always watching us & tuning into our nervous system.
If us grown-ups find it hard to manage stress, imagine how it feels for a 7-year-old still learning what emotions even mean. Remember, we are teaching them by example.
When kids act out, they’re not trying to push buttons - they’re asking, “Am I safe?”
A regulated adult helps answer that with presence, not punishment. This is why it is SOOO important that we learn to regulate our own emotional well-being.
When we find that we’re overly reactive then it would be helpful & kind to ask ourselves some questions to help to regulate better…. such as …..
“What do I truly need?”
“What would bring me one step closer to calm?”
“How can I honour my capacity today?”
Maybe it’s:
✨ a quiet cup of tea
✨ a walk outside
✨ a hug from someone safe
✨ solo time in the garden
✨ or simply permission to pause
The more we tend to our own regulation, the more safety we offer our children. ❤️
We break generational cycles by being friendly toward ourselves first.
From that inner calm, we can then raise emotionally grounded, resilient children - by showing them how to do it by example 🙏💜
www.margaretriverkinesiology.com.au
