24/07/2025
The past four years, I have not stopped.
It’s felt like a self-induced race with no finish line.
Running, sprinting both toward and away from one thing after another.
Recovering from surgery. Healing my body. Learning. Studying. Moving interstate. Scans. Blood tests. More operations. Parenting Ryder. Protecting him. Enduring abuse. Violent attacks. Legalities. Starting a business. Growing them. Entering a new relationship for the first time in over 15 years. Navigating the complex path of blending two very different families. Raising two children who aren’t biologically mine. More healing. More moving. More expansion. More awareness. More dissolving. More purifying. More learning. More. More. More.
Not just for myself- but for everyone in my household.
Emotionally. Energetically. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.
I’ve been the planner. The protector. The nurturer. The healer.
I have not given myself the grace of stopping in a very long time.
And I can feel it.
My nervous system stretched thin. Aware of where this leads if left unchecked. I know this state. I’ve been here before-when it snowballed.
And I know I’ve drifted far from the silence and stillness that once saved my life.
My body is resisting now. Every part of my higher guidance is begging for stillness. Solitude. Silence. Just enough space to gather a thought. To hear what’s been calling me, loudly-but with nowhere to land.
These days I’m more in tune.
More vocal. And I knew it was coming.
A moment where I would need to seek refuge in aloneness.
In quiet.
So last Friday, on a whim-I booked myself three nights away.
For the first time in I don’t know how long, I put aside the guilt. The work. The stories around leaving Ryder. The discomfort of doing something just for myself.
And I said- f**k it.
I went deep into the rainforest. To a retreat-to truly retreat.
I barely spoke. I barely moved.
I became no one. And no thing. And it was exactly what I needed.
Without any expectation to be.
When the 5am bell rang for yoga, my ego protested: "You’re being lazy. You should be doing something."
But I stayed nestled beneath the blanket and told myself: No. That’s not what you need. You need to do nothing.
I met my resistance points.
I listened to the beliefs that surfaced.
And moment by moment, I did the exact opposite of what I normally would.
I wrote. I meditated. I contemplated.
And even beyond that - I sat in complete stillness.
No thought.
No movement.
No sound.
No Wi-Fi.
Just absolute nothingness.
Alone. Quiet. Still. Silent.
I returned to nothing other than myself.
And I realized, I hadn’t been here in a very long time.
The bliss of not needing to do. Be. Fix. Heal.
Just the pureness of being.
And that’s when they arrived....softly, unmistakably....
The Voice Before Sound
The Return.
Not titles. Not concepts.
Living frequencies.
Ancient invitations.
Parts of the puzzle that have been begging for the stillness to be able to come through - to be birthed.
Unknowingly being initiated again.
The Voice Before Sound - the place before identity, before expression, before the doing.
The stillness that births all sound.
The silence where your truest self is heard without ever needing to speak.
The Return -not a going backward, but a sacred spiral inward.
A remembrance of your original rhythm.
The home inside you that no chaos can disturb.
These aren’t guided meditations.
They are living frequency fields, encoded with the remembrance of who you are before the world asked you to become anything else.
They are not performances.
Not techniques.
They are portals.
To come home.
To remember the Self that exists beneath the healing, the striving, the noise.
Not to fix. To remember.
Not to reach stillness. To BE stillness.
Not to become. To UNBECOME until only your essence remains.
You do not need to wait for collapse to pause.
You don’t need to earn rest.
You can return now.
Because stillness is not a reward - It is your original rhythm.
I don’t hold these spaces as a teacher or guide - I hold them as someone who’s sat in the fire, and remembered how to be the stillness inside it.
If you’ve felt the call for silence.
If you’ve felt the hum beneath your skin growing louder.
If you’ve forgotten your own rhythm in the noise of the world...
Then these spaces are for you.
🕊 The Voice Before Sound
An activation of your origin tone-the frequency of who you are before words, roles or sound.
🌑 The Return
A sacred weekly integration- guiding you into coherence, stillness, and inner clarity.
There may be words. Or there may not be.
But always, there is a frequency. A remembering.
Come sit with me.
Come hear what only silence can say.
Come return....
To yourself.
To the voice before sound.
To the truth that never left.
If something in you exhaled while reading this - you will know its for you.
The Voice Before Sound and The Return begin this August.
Held weekly in sacred stillness.
🕊
The first spaces open August 19.
Details and booking released soon.
Numbers will be intentionally limited.
Please reach out if you would like to reserve a spot or to learn more.
🤍
