14/01/2024
Hi all!
It’s a new year and I hope you’re all well.
No this is not a welcome post trying to sell something 😝 I’m over those days.
This is a post about appreciation and my recent personal epiphany.
Just like everyone else I’m getting older; I’m now in my 51st year on this earth. During this 51 years I have looked upon myself with distain, I have always gone above and beyond to please others, I have always put myself last.
I’m sure you have seen videos of me saying I appreciated my body, but to be honest … they are words where I’m trying desperately to convince myself .. I never believed those words; but if I put it out there I have to live up to it right?; and that is so sad.
Yeah I’ve had moments where I feel okay but mostly have looked at my body as an embarrassment; as never good enough; as ugly and not socially acceptable. And this has lead to an obsession with food, which leads to guilt and ends in the distain I spoke of.
And then during these school holidays I chastised my son for speaking down about himself and “backed myself up” by putting myself down.
You know, words along the lines of “Stop calling yourself fat, you a blessed to have strong legs, they are not like mine .. mine are fat” to which he replies .. “Mum, you are not fat”
I’ve done this so many times over the years, and have trained him to think this way. Now I MUST lead by a new example, for my son’s sake.
AND so this is my vision for 2024.
I want to enjoy the things I do and stop comparing myself to others when I do it, I need to train my brain to dance to the beat of my own drum.
I want to see in myself what others see in me. And stop comparing myself and I want to stop looking for quick fixes and feel naturally healthy and happy.
It’s gonna be slow and I’m going to slip up but I WILL DO THIS.
Why am I sharing? Because I know I’m not the only one out there who does this or feels this way .. and I want you to know you are not alone ❤️
Let’s create our own community, let’s be our own support system, we can be our own cheerleaders
