Empower by Ellie, Melbourne (2026)

29/05/2025

Sometimes the soul needs a break from healing - not to retreat, but to remember what joy feels like.

Hello, hello! It has been quite some time since I have posted on here. Life took me on a journey - some of it heavy, some of it beautiful - all of it transformative. I stepped back to process, to grow, and to live!

Now I’m here in this space ready to reconnect, and I bring with me a deeper perspective on personal development, healing and simply being human. I’m so excited to shared what I’ve learnt on my path.

I’m returning, gently 🤍

16/03/2023

Inhale, Exhale 🧘🏼‍♀️✨ // Breathing is such a powerful, underrated tool that can help us through profound and uncomfortable emotions. It is always always available to us. To be present and provide ourselves with a little bit of focused fresh breath can be so healing to our soma (body).

I wrote this little poem to describe what my breath work commonly looks like and what it brings up, because it is different for everyone.

I tend to become the observer of my perspective and I like to shamelessly invite in every part of me; the happiness, the sadness, the pain, the joy, the grief, the anger, all of it
.and the intention is to shift ourselves out of our minds and into our bodies, where we can truely self connect and enable all parts of ourselves to feel heard without any judgement 🤍

15/12/2022

This is your invitation to take some time for yourself, and that there is no expectation for any of us to hold ourselves together 🤍

Life can be so unpredictable and exhaustingly difficult, and for me, I did recently reach my capacity with things like:
• Giving to others - things like listening and validating require a lot of skill, effort and space that we might not be able to always offer, and that is okay because we are human too
• Keeping up with responsibilities
doing things that I usually love (writing - hence my limited posting)

And so in last few months my life has looked like:
• Being in my room for hours cuddling with my dogs
• Feeling extra sad, missing & grieving my mum, especially during this holiday season
• Pacing the space of my house a lot
• Gardening and planting
• Having limited contact with the outside world
• Watching a lot of movies and criminal minds on the couch with my favourite foods
• Not picking up my clothes off my bedroom floor
• Going to the cemetery almost everyday just for some air and simply returning back home
• Experiencing higher levels of anxiety than usual
• Minimal breath work, listening to my body
• Feeling more present
• Rarely working and not feeling guilty for not being able to work

Society would automatically assume and categorise all these as ‘symptoms’ when really it is simply taking a step back from the false expectations of society and following what feels right for me.

If there is one thing that is important to me and to who I am professionally, it is to practice what I preach in every part of my life. And so with this, I shamelessly share that it is always okay to take time for you, to nurture yourself and allow yourself to feel loved and safe in the way that feels best for you.

Blessings 💙

29/08/2022

The Attachment Theory is a strong tool for healing. It can greatly guide us to understand the cause and reasoning behind our own behaviour and other’s. However, like many other psychological theories, it does not give permission to categorise or justify all behaviour. This is simply because we are humans, not labels, and it is just that; a theory. It is important to highlight that not every human response should be excused because of a person’s attachment style. Some behaviours that are commonly rationalised by attachment theory will even cause feelings of anxiety or hesitation in someone who is secure within themselves. Again, this is because we are human; we are allowed to healthily respond and question things that aren’t in alignment with how we want to feel.

Examples of behaviours that cause a NATURAL, HUMAN response can include:
➤ Inconsistency, if someone isn’t replying for a significant amount of days
➤ Misalignment of behaviour to words
➤ If we feel unnecessary judgement
➤ Abuse of ANY kind. Physical, psychological, emotional, financial, etc. If you are or know anyone experiencing this, please ask for help. It is never too late.
➤ If our boundaries are being crossed
➤ Disrespect of any kind
➤ Overwhelming environments
➤ Violence and intimidation
➤ If we experience ghosting, someone abruptly disappearing without communication
➤ If we feel someone is possessive and controlling
➤ When we feel we are being treated less than, by someone intentionally trying to cause conflict
➤ Dishonesty
➤ Unhealthy dominance
➤ Gaslighting
➤ Feeling misheard, unseen, hurt or invalidated

There are many, many more and we are each and all allowed to choose what impacts us in the way that it does because we have feelings, not because we “fit” into a certain community.

28/08/2022

It really is. What will you do today to be a little more kinder to yourself? To spread a little more kindness in the world..? 🤍

23/08/2022

Many behavioural responses relating to abandonment trauma are actually protective mechanisms; the body’s way of shielding and the mind’s belief that it is protecting itself from an unknown and unsafe world. We believe that exposure to this specific world of unfamiliarity and uncertainty will bring us emotional pain (why we perceive it as unsafe). When we are disclosed to the unfamiliar, our nervous system may activate as it sends signals throughout our body and to our brain that we NEED to guard ourselves. This can cause us to resort to trauma responses including fight, flight, fawn and freeze.

Abandonment trauma can cause us to engage in the same repetitive cycles of connecting with emotionally unavailable partners, continuously affirming our beliefs and fears that we will abandoned.

Until we become conscious of the patterns we are resorting to and aware of any experience that may indicate abandonment trauma, we may be unconsciously emotionally unavailable ourselves, engaging in these behaviours, repeating the same patterns, just with different faces.

Swipe along for some insight to a range of behaviours we may pursue with underlying abandonment beliefs! ✨

08/07/2022

In the beginning of my healing journey, I had a belief that my self worth was something I needed to work towards building, fixing & earning. I imagined it as an empty container that I needed to fill = the meaning I attached was that I had no self worth and I was broken. I also had an unconscious goal of proving my worth to others, and I did this because I thought it would automatically attract what I wanted ..and so the search to fill this container began.

I would spend hours watching videos of people claiming to give me my self worth in the click of a button, if I bought their course. I externally searched for a filler and I did experience hints of feeling worthy, but I still majorly believed I was unworthy. I questioned so many times, how can I feel good enough? Everyone around me seems to? Was I not worthy of having self worth? I believed the container in my head would stay empty forever.

Until I became over exhausted and as I progressed in my growth & healing I realised..

We do not need to become worthy nor do anything to prove our worth, we need to simply recognise that we are already worthy as we are, no matter where we are in life and this is unchangeable.

I see messages on social media portraying we need to follow a specific formula to “earn” a high level of self worth. This comes with good intention, but in hindsight, self worth does not work in levels. It is not earned, it is not bought - it is within us from the day we enter the world, and there is no required thing that we need to obtain to have it. Your worth just is.

It is likely we have experiences that have influenced us to believe we are not worthy.

A key tip I have learnt is to become the observer of your thoughts, beliefs, and separating the voice that is authentically yours from the voice that is potentially someone else’s (parent, caregiver, friend, boss). When we do this, we give to ourselves:

1. Recognition, we are in control of what we say to ourselves.
2. The opportunity to healthily rewrite our inner critical voice. It is very important to not invalidate our inner critic, but rather ask why they feel unworthy, and explore deeper.

You are enough as you are, always 🤍

15/05/2022

Hope // A word so simple yet so effective.. Sometimes it’s not staying strong that gets us through the hardest times, because we are allowed to break down. Nor is it trying to control our fears or emotions, because we are allowed to connect to our inner child, feel scared and cry.

There is nothing scarier than not knowing. When we lack control over a situation, there’s no clear path to moving forward in strength. Diving into uncertainty and weathering the storm may feel like the only option. And so, we let go and surrender. Riding the wave, and still, soon enough we come to realise we have overcome.

Keep riding that wave. It will always be okay, and if it’s not, hold onto hope 🤍

15/05/2022

Hope // A word so simple yet so effective.. Sometimes it’s not staying strong that gets us through the hardest times, because we are allowed to break down. Nor is it trying to control our fears or emotions, because we are allowed to connect to our inner child, feel scared and cry.

There is nothing scarier than not knowing. When we lack control over a situation, there’s no clear path to moving forward in strength. Diving into uncertainty and weathering the storm may feel like the only option. And so, we let go and surrender. Riding the wave, and still, soon enough we come to realise we have overcome.

It will always be okay, and if it’s not, it’s not the end. Hold onto hope and keep riding that wave 🤍

12/02/2022

HUMAN NEEDS PART TWO // Once we have identified, acknowledged & accepted our needs, we can then invite ourselves to begin to meet our own. You may think ‘how can I do that? that’s impossible’

Before I provide my view on this, it is important to know that I have no intention of sharing any misleading information. I refuse to share detail that may influence individuals into believing that things like this are magically cemented overnight, or over 2 weeks, or even over a few months. I, myself am in the ongoing process of strengthening the relationship with myself and especially when it comes to meeting my own needs. As I was raised as a severely codependent individual, this is something I will forever continue to work on, (and not to say that being codependent is a bad thing because it isn’t, there is a difference between being codependent and healthily codependent). Some days are better than others, some days can be extremely difficult to get through, for example, if a core wound has been triggered, it can be very difficult to self soothe. However, it is crucial to accept progression & consistency over perfection. And it is even more important to recognise that we are human and we have emotions and needs even if we don’t think we do.

Human connection is what we are wired for, therefore, it is absolutely acceptable and encouraged for us to communicate our needs to others and get them needs met via a healthy support system. If our needs were never met in our childhood, we may be completely reliant on external sources to meet them. Meeting our own emotional needs can be highly beneficial as we don’t operate from a place of lack and this prevents us from being entirely dependent. Filling our own cup half way creates balance so we don’t desperately require fulfilment from another that can possibly lead us to unintentionally sabotaging connections.

MEETING YOUR OWN NEEDS

So, you’ve identified your needs, now what? The 4 prominent actions to pursue are as follows:

➤ Recognition & Acknowledgement
➤ Self Exploration
➤ Application & Affirmation
➤ Repetition

Swipe through the images for a thorough explanation on each of these stages 🤍✨

10/02/2022

Let’s talk about ✨HUMAN NEEDS✨

How many times have you felt you were “asking for too much” and so you didn’t even ask for what you needed, completely ignored the feeling even though it continued to effect your state of being..

Identifying what your needs are for any connection in life is such a healthy and crucial measure that is highly recommended by professionals.

There are needs that we can learn to meet ourselves, however, as humans we are biologically wired for connection. If we were deprived of receiving the secure standard of care by our caregivers in childhood, the probability of developing an insecure attachment style (anxious preoccupied, fearful avoidant or dismissive avoidant) is very likely. It is additionally feasible that our attachment style will impact the way we live our lives and show up in situations. As someone who was influenced to disregard my needs, it is so important to know that you are not needy for having needs, and guess what!

“You’re only as needy as your unmet needs” - Amir Levine

IDENTIFYING NEEDS:
➤ You are human. The first key to anything in life is acceptance. Accept & acknowledge that you have needs, and that without them you may as well be a robot. It can feel highly uncomfortable, but I’m here to reassure you that you are capable.
➤ A great way of identifying your needs is when you become triggered. Asking yourself what would make you feel safe in that moment and getting to the core can be so useful. Write it down. Acknowledge and accept.
➤ The act of reflecting on situations you have previously experienced, and identifying if a certain need comes up multiple times! This may be a non-negotiable for you, which again is completely normal as it is based on conditioning.
➤ Some needs may prioritise others and so creating multiple lists can be very useful to help us identify and understand our emotional needs, physical needs, etc.

I also want to add that you are NOT needy for communicating your needs. You can only be met with someone who is either willing to or not, and that is nothing to do with you. Alignment is important.

26/01/2022

The Abandonment Wound is predominantly formed through childhood experiences, but can develop at any time in our lives. It reflects a deep emotional absence of a parental figure, caregiver or loved one. It is known to be a highly distressing wound, however, with appropriate tools and support, regulation and management is more than possible.

Experiences that form this wound are not always catastrophic, but when triggered the response can definitely feel this way. Research provides evidence that the brain responds to triggered abandonment trauma similarly to the emotional grief that is experienced when losing a loved one. The abandonment wound consists of a range of fears that we may be unconscious (unaware) of. These fears are subconsciously connected to memories of when we first experienced the feeling (illusion) of being abandoned.

Swipe for some examples ✨

This post is mainly aimed to provide insight and awareness of what can potentially occur if we have abandonment trauma. It is a very large wound to unpack and there are many further factors and perspectives, but I thought I would do a mini series and dedicate separate posts to each topic. Stay tuned for the next one 🤍

Empower by Ellie

29/05/2025

16/03/2023

15/12/2022

29/08/2022

28/08/2022

23/08/2022

08/07/2022

15/05/2022

15/05/2022

12/02/2022

10/02/2022

26/01/2022

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