31/01/2025
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Fun fact: Babies are born knowing how to process and move through emotions. They scream, cry, thrash and stir until their needs are met. Once needs are met, they return to a state of regulation. However, as children age we (adults) tend to assume they have our same perception on the world and can dismiss their feelings.
As humans we deal with a vast amount of emotions daily (with children, spouses, co-workers, etc.) and we have all made the mistake of dismissing others feelings. “STOP crying, or we’re leaving.” Or maybe you heard, “It isn’t that big of a deal, why are you still upset?” Or “shh, we are in public, you’re embarrassing me!” Sometimes as adults we can say these harsh things to ourself.
These responses elicit shame on the ones we love for having very natural body emotions. We must work to change this narrative for ourself, for our loved ones and especially for our children. Feeling is okay. Crying is okay. Let’s work to avoid teaching those around us to shut down and quiet their feelings for others. This takes away trust in oneself.
One day your children (and your inner child) will know how to move through feelings in a way deemed societally “appropriate” but while they (and we) are learning, let’s support the development of emotional regulation by meeting tears with empathy and understanding while helping co-regulate.
As has taught me - don’t stop feeling, you are safe to feel however you feel. ✨
