23/03/2024
ARE YOU INVISIBLE?
As an unpaid carer the more I care, the more I disappear.🫥
Standing in a crowded room,
I blend into the wallpaper
& no one 👀’s that I was even there!
A room full of people can often be
the loneliest place in the 🌎,
especially if no one can 👀 you.
I spent a lot of time not being 👀,
not letting anyone in, 🙅♀️
✍️ a virtual F*** off on my 🤦♀️
so I didn’t have to answer to
“👋 how are you?”
Or other conversations that made me realise how 😢
I actually was, or how fractured my life had become.
I made sure that I stayed 🫥,
by not wearing any makeup,
by wearing clothes that hung off my body
and 🫣all my bits,
& I wore ⬛️ colours to blend into the darkness of my life,
it is easier to cope when nobody 👀’s you are around.
My 🍷 was half empty, and I lost my self-worth,
while well-meaning 👿 criticised every choice that I made,
everything became about my son,
& how I was going to keep him alive,
alive long enough to see the next 🌞,
long enough to grow 🆙.
I sacrificed so much of myself,
I literally became lost in the chaos,
the overwhelm and the exhaustion🥱.
It has taken me a long ⏳
to find my way 🔙 to brave,
to learn how to be unstoppable,
to be a carer and a mum without regret.
It didn’t happen over🌚,
But it is possible,
I had to 🥊 for every single inch of it,
😁, ☮️ and joy had been my 🏆,
& there is so much more that I have yet to unfold.
Caring for a loved one with a mental illness
is bloody well tough, never-ending, and 😩,
but I am here today to witness to the fact that it is worthwhile.
Carers are 😇 without 🪽, quiet, unassuming, and so incredibly Brave.
I want to give a shout-out to all the carers today, you know who you are, and my mothers 💓 send you a big🤗
