How To Deal With Abusive Men

23/09/2025

https://fb.watch/CiL8WrPFts/?

23/09/2025

23/09/2025

IT'S STILL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

So many people have been conditioned to believe that abuse is only “real” if it leaves physical scars. But that is a dangerous lie. Abuse doesn’t have to come in the form of punches, kicks, or bruises to destroy a person’s life. They don’t have to hit you, choke you, or slam your head into a wall in order for it to be domestic violence. The truth is, abuse has many faces, and most of them don’t leave visible marks.

It’s in the way they degrade you with cruel words until you start doubting your own worth. It’s in the way they humiliate you in front of others to break down your confidence. It’s in the way they scream, yell, and twist your emotions until you’re left walking on eggshells, terrified of their next explosion. It’s in the constant blame-shifting, where somehow every problem is made to feel like it’s your fault. It’s in the endless lies, betrayals, and cheating that chip away at your sense of security and stability.

It’s in the financial abuse—when they control the money, restrict your access to basic needs, or purposely keep you dependent so you feel trapped. It’s in the manipulation, the silent treatment, the calculated withholding of affection and support. It’s in the control—deciding who you can see, what you can wear, where you can go, and what dreams you are “allowed” to chase.

This is abuse. This is violence. It doesn’t have to involve fists for it to leave deep wounds. Emotional scars run just as deep as physical ones, and often take longer to heal because they attack the very core of who you are. They break your spirit, silence your voice, and convince you that you’re powerless.

Never let anyone minimize your pain by saying “at least they didn’t hit you.” That’s not comfort—that’s ignorance. Domestic violence is not limited to bruises and broken bones. It’s every act of control, every word meant to wound, every manipulation designed to trap you. And whether the world recognizes it or not, it IS still domestic violence.

23/09/2025

Control is at the core of narcissistic relationships. A narcissist often seeks to dominate their partner’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors because it helps them maintain power and protect their fragile sense of self.

💡 Ways Narcissists Try to Control
1. Emotional Manipulation
• Using guilt (“After all I’ve done for you…”)
• Playing victim to shift blame
• Love-bombing when they sense you might leave
2. Gaslighting
• Denying events (“That never happened”)
• Twisting words so you doubt your memory or perception
3. Isolation
• Discouraging friendships, family ties, or outside support
• Making you depend solely on them for validation
4. Financial Control
• Limiting access to money or resources
• Monitoring your spending to keep you trapped
5. Micromanaging Daily Life
• Dictating how you dress, speak, or behave
• Criticizing small choices to weaken your independence
6. Hot-and-Cold Behavior
• Alternating affection with cruelty so you stay off balance
• Making you chase their approval
7. Threats & Intimidation
• Direct (anger, ultimatums) or subtle (withholding love, silent treatment)

23/09/2025

Waking up every day next to someone who secretly hates you? That’s the harsh, painful reality of a narcissistic relationship. On the surface, everything may look normal, even pleasant. They might smile, act charming, and appear loving to the outside world. But behind closed doors, the truth is far darker. Resentment, contempt, and manipulation are always simmering just beneath the surface. Every word you speak, every action you take, is scrutinized, twisted, and used against you. You start second-guessing yourself constantly, wondering if you’re overreacting or imagining things, because a narcissist is an expert at hiding their true feelings and gaslighting their partner.

Over time, the emotional toll becomes unbearable. You walk on eggshells, always cautious, always alert, trying to predict what will trigger their next outburst or subtle attack. Moments that should feel safe—like quiet mornings together, shared laughter, or simple acts of love—become riddled with tension and unease. Your confidence and self-worth begin to erode slowly, almost imperceptibly, as the constant cycle of manipulation chips away at your sense of reality. Friends and family may not notice anything wrong, seeing only the polished exterior, which makes it even more isolating. Living with a narcissist is like being trapped in a house that looks bright and welcoming from the outside, but inside, every corner is dark, suffocating, and emotionally draining. Eventually, you realize that the person beside you isn’t truly capable of love or respect—and that realization is as heartbreaking as it is liberating.

23/09/2025

RULES OF A NARCISSIST Do as I say, not as I do. I'm never wrong. It's my way or the highway. The world revolves around me. I don't like to be number 2. If I'm not happy, nobody is going to be happy. If you are happy, I'll soon change that. We'll do it my way.

These "rules" are often unspoken, but they're deeply ingrained in the narcissist's behavior. They expect others to cater to their needs, desires, and expectations, while disregarding the needs and feelings of those around them.

Narcissists often use manipulation, guilt, and coercion to get what they want from others. They may become angry or defensive if their expectations aren't met, and they'll often shift the blame onto others for their own mistakes.

In a relationship with a narcissist, the other person's needs and feelings are often ignored or minimized. The narcissist's needs and desires take center stage, and others are expected to adapt and conform.

It's essential to recognize these "rules" for what they are – a form of emotional manipulation and control. By understanding the narcissist's behavior, you can take steps to protect yourself and prioritize your own needs and well-being.

If you're in a relationship with someone who operates under these "rules," it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and prioritize your own emotional safety. Surround yourself with people who respect and value you, and don't be afraid to seek help and support if you're struggling with a narcissistic relationship.

23/09/2025

NO AMOUNT OF LOVE, KINDNESS, OR COMPASSION WILL CHANGE THE NARCISSIST. You can give everything you have—your heart, your patience, your time—but it will never be enough to make them see beyond themselves. They will twist your love into control, your kindness into weakness, and your compassion into guilt. You can pour your soul into them, sacrifice your peace, bend your boundaries, and try to fill the void inside them, but they will always find a way to make it about their needs, their desires, their insecurities.

No matter how much you hope, how deeply you care, or how desperately you wish they could be different, the truth remains: their capacity for change is limited by their own refusal to reflect, to feel, to empathize. They will never meet you halfway, and any glimpse of warmth or softness you think you see is temporary, fleeting, a manipulation to keep you invested. The love you give will be consumed, not cherished; your kindness will be exploited, not valued; your compassion will be weaponized, not respected.

Loving a narcissist is not a journey toward transformation—it is a battle against an unyielding wall that cannot bend, a storm that cannot be tamed. You will lose pieces of yourself in the process, your energy will be drained, and your heart will ache as you realize that the person you love so fiercely cannot love you in return. The sooner you see this truth, the sooner you can release yourself, reclaim your boundaries, and invest in people who can actually honor your heart. Your love is precious—don’t let it be squandered on someone who will never change.

23/09/2025

CHILDREN OF NARCISSISTS GROW UP WITHOUT THE FEELING OF… SAFETY, COMFORT, OR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FROM THE ONE PERSON WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE IT TO THEM. From the very beginning, their world is unstable, dictated by the moods, whims, and needs of a parent who is incapable of genuine empathy. They learn early on that expressing vulnerability can invite criticism, punishment, or emotional withdrawal. Every request for attention, comfort, or reassurance is measured, evaluated, and often denied—not because they are unworthy, but because the parent cannot offer the unconditional love that every child instinctively craves.

They grow up walking on eggshells, constantly second-guessing themselves, and trying to anticipate the emotional reactions of the person who should have been their safe harbor. Joy is fleeting, mistakes are magnified, and their sense of self is shaped not by encouragement but by judgment, comparison, and emotional manipulation. They develop coping mechanisms—masking their feelings, becoming hyper-aware of others’ needs, or numbing themselves emotionally—just to survive in an environment that should have nurtured them.

Over time, these patterns leave deep scars. Trust becomes a fragile commodity, intimacy feels dangerous, and the idea of unconditional love can seem foreign or unattainable. They may seek validation outside the home, forming relationships that mimic the dynamics they experienced as children, often unknowingly repeating cycles of emotional neglect and manipulation. Healing requires not only understanding what was stolen from them but also reclaiming their right to safety, comfort, and love on their own terms—learning to nurture themselves in ways they never experienced, and slowly building a life where their inner child finally feels seen, heard, and cherished.

20/09/2025

The reason it’s so hard to leave a narcissist is because you’re holding onto the version of them they pretended to be during the love bombing phase — the version that never truly existed.

In the beginning, they mirrored your hopes, your values, your dreams. They studied you, carefully reflecting back the very qualities you longed for in a partner. They became your ideal match not because they *were*, but because they *performed* it. The laughter, the shared “coincidences,” the whirlwind romance — it felt fated, like destiny had finally delivered the person you’d been waiting for. That intoxicating beginning carved a bond so deep that walking away feels like abandoning not just them, but the dream they dangled in front of you.

But here’s the brutal truth: that dream was never theirs to give. It was a costume, a mask, a hook designed to secure your loyalty. The moment they felt you were invested, the mask began to slip. In its place emerged the demeaning comments, the gaslighting, the neglect, and the cycles of push and pull. You weren’t imagining the shift — you were witnessing the real person who had been hiding all along.

What keeps you trapped is not love, but the memory of the fantasy. You replay the love bombing in your mind, hoping that if you’re patient, accommodating, or forgiving enough, that version will return. But it won’t. That person wasn’t real. And waiting for them to come back is like waiting for a mirage to quench your thirst — an illusion that keeps you walking deeper into the desert.

Healing begins when you stop chasing the ghost of who you thought they were and face the truth of who they really are. Yes, it hurts. It feels like grieving a soulmate, but in reality, you’re grieving a performance. When you accept that, you reclaim your power. The love you’re holding onto was yours all along — your capacity to feel deeply, to dream, to hope. That is real. And one day, you’ll give it to someone who doesn’t just pretend to deserve it.