07/12/2025
Some people don’t shut others out to be strong, they do it because relying on someone once felt unsafe.
That’s the part we rarely talk about when we mention “hyper-independence.”
Psychology research shows that long periods of emotional isolation activate the same stress response we use for physical danger. To the nervous system, distance can feel safer than connection, especially for people who’ve learned that vulnerability invites pain, judgement, or disappointment.
So what looks like “I don’t need anyone” might actually mean, “I haven’t felt safe enough to.”
Independence isn’t the issue. Protective loneliness is. Do you agree?