Dr Claire Mayers

07/12/2025

I literally cried when my therapist said:

"Standing up to a narcissistic parent doesn't just cost you peace—it can cost you your entire family. Because in families built on denial, the truth is always the most expensive thing."

I sat there, stunned, feeling this heavy mix of fear, sadness, and relief all at once. It hit me how much I had minimized my own pain, how I had tiptoed around the truth for years just to keep a fragile sense of “family” intact. I realized that speaking my truth, asserting my boundaries, and protecting my own mental health wasn’t betrayal—it was survival. But the price… the price is real. It can be rejection, anger, estrangement, or the cold silence of people who refuse to see or acknowledge reality. And yet, there’s a strange liberation in understanding that the cost is worth paying, because the alternative—living in denial, suppressing your own needs, pretending everything is fine—is far heavier.

It made me finally grasp: protecting yourself doesn’t make you disloyal. It makes you human. It makes you brave. And it’s a kind of love, too—the love you owe yourself.
“Andy Burg”

07/12/2025

Ooo

07/12/2025

A lesson in self acceptance in the face the judgy people 😁👏🏽

03/12/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRu9s7QiF7Y/?igsh=MXRoczh0MnJ2ZXNtdQ==

03/12/2025

02/12/2025

ADHD is rarely mentioned as a coexisting condition with dysautonomia—but if you're living with both, this probably won't surprise you.

New research is exploring the connections between ADHD and conditions like POTS, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, and other forms of dysautonomia. The common thread? Chronic inflammation and autonomic nervous system dysfunction.

About half of people with ADHD have joint hypermobility, which is linked to conditions affecting multiple body systems. Understanding these brain-body connections could reshape how we think about ADHD and open new doors for treatment.

If you've been managing ADHD alongside unexplained fatigue, dizziness when standing, brain fog, or digestive issues, this research might help explain why.

Via ADDitude: https://additudemag.pulse.ly/znolw6snge

02/12/2025

01/12/2025

Many childhood trauma survivors compare themselves to others they feel had it worse. Unfortunately, this invalidates their own story.⁠
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Whether you come from a blatantly abusive or tricky family, trauma is trauma, and the two types of families have the same symptoms, such as depression and attachment wounds. ⁠
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For those who come from tricky families, where things look good on paper, and the abuse isn't loud, there is often daily neglect of emotional needs. As a result, the attachments are not strong.⁠
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Children can have daily contact with such a parent, but they're not the safe home base every child needs. They're just there; perhaps they are shut down, indifferent, or hate being a parent. ⁠
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For the child growing up in this, there's no energy or life to family. It's usually a heartbreaking wait for the parent to wake up and enjoy their children. ⁠
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This type of disconnection, which is what childhood trauma is all about, results in adults who don't feel connected to themselves and struggle to connect with others and trust that others are interested. ⁠
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Those from tricky families can have a harder time in therapy because, like their family, it doesn't feel like much is wrong when everything is wrong.

30/11/2025

https://www.instagram.com/p/DRo07zpjEMo/?img_index=7&igsh=MW9ibzJqa2Y4dmh3dQ==

30/11/2025

Ooo

For those growing up in aggressor/ codependent family systems, one parent is technically safer than the other parent you were terrified of.

Waiting for the "safer" to come home as a child living through trauma can dramatically impact our adult relationships and sense of security.

Most childhood trauma survivors identified one parent as being safer than the other. The safer parent is better at meeting needs, is somewhat idealized, and isn't the aggressive perpetrating parent. But they are partnered or married to them.

Much of childhood trauma work is unpacking and reframing the safer parent as the unsafe parent isn't that complicated. They were a perpetrator. The safer parent is usually an unprotective tragic savior when they get to it. There is generally more trauma work around the safer parent, as the unsafe parent is the blatant issue. The safer parent is tricky.

Being away from the "safer" parent is often torture for a young child, whereas the unsafe parent is often unbearable.

I spent entire days staring out a window waiting for my alcoholic mother to come home to feel connected and safe from my narcissistic father, who was insufferable.

What this early waiting for safety does to our adult relationship is any of the following that I've seen in clients' adult intimacy problems and my own.

*Being triggered around waiting on someone.
*Being upset when coming home to an empty house.
*Being upset when our partner isn't with us during times of stress.
*Living our lives in a waiting game for things to get better.
*Feelings of extreme fear that something terrible may happen to your person or partner.
*A wounded, deep core belief that no one's coming for us.

Awareness of our own story and thinking of what would a healthier family system have looked like can help us process looking at what was missing.

Working with our inner child and validating how awful and abandoning it was to have to wait (you most likely waited a lot) if you grew up like this.

We can validate and invite that child to live with us in the present with a safe and present adult who consistently shows up for them. This takes work and is a process.

29/11/2025

How many of these EDS symptoms do you deal with daily lets compare 💙

29/11/2025

Giving the love and comfort to the little child who is still inside you is the work we do in therapy 💗