17/09/2022
Like most people from his generation, Mathew was encouraged to get a good education, get a steady job, and work until he was about 65, retire and then well…..
Like most he did that for 25 years, did what was programmed into his brain, by people that had gone before him. The daily grind, early starts, communing endless hours, pleasing the boss, office politics, you know that story, the voice constantly in his head from his father ‘my boy, get a good job, do us all proud’.
He had good times, and not so good times, the ‘security’ allowed him to get into debt to buy a house, to provide for his family, so he could hop back on the train day in and day out to work for the bank and to make his father proud.
He was screaming on the inside and felt dead.
In those 25 years he had dabbled in in other areas, he called them hobbies, that was him trying to ‘find’ himself, to be fulfilled, to feel alive. He wanted to be there for his children, encourage his sons, but he just hadn’t got the energy for everything, he gave up his hobbies for them.
Monday would come around and the endless 9-5 would start again.
He was bored, trapped and stagnant.
The years ticked by, he wasn’t getting any younger, there were times that he was on top of the world, but the light had gone out in his soul.
Inside he felt as young and energetic as a 20 year old, but time was passing him by, he was now middle aged, unappreciated and dead on the inside.
The workplace had changed from when he entered it in the 80’s, to how business was done now a days. He felt lost, insecure, and out of date as the younger and technology knowing generation ploughed into the workforce. He tried his best to stay up to date with all the new technology, staying later at the office, getting in earlier, not taking lunch, taking his work home, saying yes to everything at the office.
It started to take toll on his life, he was stressed, not sleeping, burnt out, his wife threatened to leave him as she never saw him, he rarely saw his boys, no time for hobbies, or anything he deemed to be fun. The life had been sucked out of him, he was living on junk food, energy drinks and coffee. He was nearly 50 but looked and felt 70 plus.
April 12th 2014 is the day he will never forget, the date, etched into him mind, he wanted to be extra early into work to prepare for a presentation, to make sure everything worked, as overseas investors would be present.
He missed the early train, running to get to the office, he slipped on the pavement and fell in front of a speeding car, knocking him unconscious.
He woke up 10 days later in intensive care, tubes, and drips everywhere, unable to speak. He’d been resuscitated 3 times, had 3 broken ribs, a broken leg, broken collar bone, bleed on his brain, cuts and bruises, a collapsed lung and imbedded glass in his right eye. He was very lucky to be alive.
He had never felt so bruised and battered.
The Bleed on his brain had caused the speech part of his brain to shut down.
As he awoke, he was all on his own, he had never before felt so alone.
He tried to speak but couldn’t as he was on a respirator, having been in an induced coma.
A nurse appeared, followed by his family, he felt relieved to see his family.
Hi wife, smiled at him with tears in her eyes. Holding his hand, through tears whispered, ‘welcome back’.
He was not out of the woods yet, now the rehabilitation started.
40 weeks in hospital, then to learn to walk and speak again.
He felt useless, a burden on his family, wishing he had died, his pride had gone, he couldn’t look after himself, let alone his family. He was angry with himself, annoyed that this had happened to him. So angry that the rage was pushing everyone away.
At the rehabilitation centre there was a young 15-year-old girl, Emily, her horse had bolted, she was flung off, falling under the horse, both legs crushed, leaving her paralysed from the waist down.
Mathew observed her every day, she was so positive, performing her exercises with a smile, this made him feel even worse, she was to him brave, this made him feel even more sorry for himself, even more angry.
Every day was a chore, every day he wanted it to end, every day he hated himself a little more. The dead on the inside feeling he already had matched now his outside. Angry at the medical staff for resuscitating him, angry at everyone and everything.
The Occupational therapists that were working with him, did their upmost best to help him, he just didn’t want to be helped, his pride had gone.
Emily didn’t falter, she was so positive, he watched her every day, improving, doing more and more.
It was now March 12th, 11 months since that day, the day that he will never forget, but this day was the day he changed, this day he smiled back at Emily, she had a ‘Birthday Girl’ badge on her clothes, she was 16. On this day, her mother, Susan was with her, they were celebrating her birthday and her improvements.
Mathew wished her happy birthday, they started chatting from that day, every day they chatted more. Mathew asked her about her resilience and how she kept so positive and upbeat. She replied that she was going to walk again, that she visualised walking every day, and saw herself riding her horse.
Mathew thought about this, after a few days mulling it all over in his mind, he asked her for more information. Emily explained about the power of the mind, how the mind didn’t know the difference between real and imagined, she was visualising to change her mind, and get her body to move again, and work with her.
Mathew remembered back to books he had read, and some of the hobbies he had when he was younger, remembered about the practice of mindfulness, his wife had introduced to him. Emily introduced him to her Mother, Susan.
Susan was a Hypnotherapist, he was fascinated, over the days the more they talked, the better he felt, she offered him a session. Mathew agreed, this is the turning point in his recuperation. Every day in every way he got better and better, the anger was going, he started to feel alive on the inside. The most he had felt alive for years, even before the accident.
Everyone noticed the change in him, he wanted to be alive, to be with his family. He started to improve, started speech therapy, wanted to move, wanted to be alive. His aches and pains became less and less. He was smiling on the inside.
With the extra time on his hands he read books on the power of the mind, spoke with Susan extensively about the power of the trance state. Now he realised that his thoughts create his reality, and by finding his limiting beliefs, and bring in new positive beliefs then he could change, he became excited by the prospect. He learnt how to change his beliefs with self-hypnosis, feeling better about himself, gaining new energy and feeling happier every day.
2017 he enrolled in the Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy at The Academy of Hypnotic Science, 3 years after that day, to learn how to help others as a hypnotherapist.
He now works with traumatised people in rehabilitation, as he says, if he can change, anyone can. The accident he now sees as a blessing, he is happy, living a fulfilled life, helping other people, showing them that things can change. He has a smile on his face, this smile comes from the inside. To this day, he still walks with a limp, however this does not bother him.
He is healthier and happier than he has ever been.
If you want to know more about the Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy at the Academy of Hypnotic Science, then get in touch.
Sara
0412771612
Sara.herring@sia.edu.au
