05/03/2026
Supporting PDA kids is complex.
Sometimes for safety reasons we must try to redirect the child or remove triggers and obstacles.
If our compassion is too brief it will feel like a demand, because the pda child feels us trying to move them forward before their nervous system is ready.
Sometimes that means not saying anything.
Most of the time that means a whole lot of self compassion and compassion for our kids with no agenda.
It takes a lot of practice and recognising where our own system is at.
If you are in a constant state of functional freeze, burnout or Fight or flight after long periods of your child’s nervous system being in these places finding compassion will be hard, so too just being present, because your own nervous system will not feel safe in their big nervous system moments.
The shift begins when we start prioritising understanding our own triggers and working towards supporting our own nervous system.