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05/03/2026

Supporting PDA kids is complex.
Sometimes for safety reasons we must try to redirect the child or remove triggers and obstacles.

If our compassion is too brief it will feel like a demand, because the pda child feels us trying to move them forward before their nervous system is ready.

Sometimes that means not saying anything.

Most of the time that means a whole lot of self compassion and compassion for our kids with no agenda.

It takes a lot of practice and recognising where our own system is at.

If you are in a constant state of functional freeze, burnout or Fight or flight after long periods of your child’s nervous system being in these places finding compassion will be hard, so too just being present, because your own nervous system will not feel safe in their big nervous system moments.

The shift begins when we start prioritising understanding our own triggers and working towards supporting our own nervous system.

01/01/2026

24/12/2025

Havening is a tool I learnt from working with a family therapist.

It’s quick, easy and portable. Requires no equipment. Requires some repetition if your nervous system is already in large stress response.

It’s also an effective bedtime or middle of the night settling routine.

I have been able to introduce it to my kids by modeling it on me first. My kids seeing and feeling me in a more regulated way, created a place where the were willing to give it a go. I was then able to gently suggest to my PDA’r in a moment of distress that we try it, and he was able to feel for himself the settled feeling. He will now ask for it at other times of distress.
We started with just the shoulder rubs as face was too ticklish for him, and called them kitty cat pats.

I hope this helps with any overwhelm today as you move through your Christmas Day.

24/10/2025

15/10/2025

18/08/2025

This idea came out of a conversation a while ago now with a gorgeous Mumma I was working with about the dynamic between her girls. And it was a real light bulb moment for me.

Is this something you experience in your home ? Where the younger sibling antagonises to stop the constant walking on egg shells ?



Image: Alisha lying in bed with her favorite rainbow jumper. Too exhausted to completely change for bed but enough energy to make an Insta reel 🤣.

11/07/2025

08/07/2025

I know you will have been there
That place where you child is screaming at you “I hate you, you’re the worst mum/dad ever”

It is so hard to hear, especially if you are a PDA parent and have a huge sense of burden or just general feelings of under appreciation about how much you do and give up for your child.

I hear that, I see you.

It might be that in that moment your own inner child is triggered by feelings of being unlovable.

Staying curious and getting support for me from a family therapist who works in internal family systems (IFS Model by Richard C. Schwartz) has been a game changer for finding responsiveness rather than reaction in these moments.

It allowed me to see how this younger part of me was showing up in relationship with my children because of this believe that they were unlovable. It was big hard work and still is to sit with that part and let them know they are now safe, loved and secure to allow me more moments to pause when I hear those words.

It’s a good place to start if you feel you might have this belief of being unlovable from your own childhood.

Do you feel like this could be influencing your communication with your child ?

17/06/2025

04/06/2025

Stop Instagram Platforming Chlorine Dioxide E***a Promoter Kerri Rivera.

04/06/2025

Why the w-sitting position can be a problem for some kids…

When a child prefers to sit in the w-sitting position, it can be a sign of poor muscle tone. Their body has to adjust to a comfortable sitting position to stabilize their…

💪Core
💪Trunk
💪Posture

Kids who have one or more retained Primitive Reflexes may also sit in this position as a way to compensate for the retention.

As a result, you may find the child having a hard time with:

🤔Slouching in their chair
🤔Poor eye-hand coordination
🤔Clumsy handwriting
🤔Attention and focus issues

To find out additional signs and what can happen to the body and learning development with retained Primitive Reflexes that can cause w-sitting, comment “W Sitting” and we’ll send you the link.