Nicole Lordan - LordanCo

17/03/2025

01/04/2024

Hey all!
I’m doing the VEDA challenge! What’s VEDA, you might wonder! Well, VEDA is ‘A Month of Daily Video in April’!
I hope you’ll join me on this journey and learn some useful tools and strategies to powerfully lead yourself forward.
Let’s do this!

27/09/2022

For a short while, you can watch the replay of today's session:

https://www.facebook.com/LindaEnever/videos/1080548212822745/?idorvanity=483937115044342

However, I very much encourage you to purchase a 'VIP All Access Pass'. This pass will allow you to access some of the finest experts in the small business realm, courtesy of a Small Business Skills Summit.
Buy your pass here:
https://enevergroup.thinkific.com/courses/2022-small-business-skills-summit?ref=057075

Thank you to
Business Business Business - Learn Connect Network and Do
Linda Reed-Enever Clive Enever - Business Strategist Enever Group for having me!

14/09/2022

**** This session has been postponed due to a medical issue at Small Business Skills Summit. New date will be posted soon. ****

This Friday at 11am.

I'd love to see you there! It's free!
Join here => https://enevergroup.thinkific.com/courses/2022-small-business-skills-summit?ref=057075

23/02/2022

A few weeks ago, I launched my website https://nicolelordan.com!
It was a long project....
Lot's of people got very tired of hearing me say 'very soon' after asking 'Nicole, when's your website finished?'
I've been reflecting a little, wondering why it took me so long (we are talking years, not months! 😜) to get this baby out.
Well, I recon it's mostly because I get 80% of my clients through 'word out of mouth'. It's how I connect best; through conversations, facilitation and teaching. And of course deep listening, curiosity and open-ness. Writing beautifully is not one of my strenghts. I find it challenging to stay authentic while writing and posting on social media (maybe I need to start posting videos!).

So here it is👇.
Check it out and let me know what you think. It's still pretty much a work in progress. Stuff missing, services to be added and words to be corrected (hey and watch this space as online courses are being added soon (soon in my terms clearly means anytime between the next 2 months or 10 years 🤣)).

I've had the best help on the way:
Thank you Jason High Country Digital for you patience!
Little Bluck Duck no-one else is as good with words as you are! I'm so grateful that you've supported me with words for my coaching programme. Everyone, check this fabulous and highly creative woman out!
Monique Graham Photography you are a gem! Thanks for your kindness and the beautiful pics.

Danielle Price from She Will Shine do you remember 6 years ago when we met and I've told you that I'm looking for a co-working space in order to finish my website? 😂😂

People, please read and share and sign up for my newsletter (there will be one every 6 years! 😂🤣 so don't worry about getting spamed!)

Performance and life coaching for individuals and organisations using Wingwave, NLP, EMDR and more.

23/02/2022

Last weeks 'REFLECT, RESET & RE-EMERGE' workshop was wonderful and powerful! 17 awesome women (yes, women only!) came to reflect, reset and re-emerge in order to step into 2022 with clarity and intention (nope, no photos. because of confidentiality and all...).🤫
Group work is powerful! 💪

If you too are secretly daydreaming about living a better life. One that reflects more of YOU, your values and deepest desires.
And if you are feeling a little stuck, unclear, lost or disengaged and are seeking clarity, greater meaning and fulfilment, and feel as though your life revolves around the needs and expectations of others.
Then maybe you'd like to consider the upcoming 7 week Group Coaching Course 'DESIGN YOUR LIFE'.

You'll get the clarity, tools and support you need to take powerful steps forward towards the life you want to live - personally and professionally.

Check it out via link below. 😍
I'd love to see you there.

The strategies and knowledge you’ll learn, the experience and people whom you will meet will have a profound impact on your daily life, as well as your performance and your happiness.

(Please note that I'm also running the same course on zoom)

A powerful, practical and engaging 7 week group-coaching course, designed to build inner confidence and create waves in life and work.

09/02/2022

It’s been a minute since my last face-to-face workshop!
The past two years have been a doozy and connecting face-to-face with my courageous clients and community was just not possible.
So many of us (🙋🏻‍♀️ me for sure) have been left feeling unclear, unfocused, tired and discombobulated!
If you are feeling the same way and fancy getting clear about the year ahead, then this workshop could be for you.

Join me next Wednesday eve, 16Feb 2022, 6:30pm, and together, we will reflect on the past two years, release what no longer serves us, reset our intentions and goals and re-emerge with clarity, focus and spark!

Location: Odd Spot Cafe in Newport.

A practical and hands-on workshop where we will be laying the foundation for an exciting and fulfilling 2022.

17/11/2021

Too many people are currently feeling burnt out, exhausted or depressed.
It’s no surprise! Long working hours during lockdown, paired with wondering if the life we are currently living is aligned with our wants and needs, has brought people to their knees.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, here’s how to know if you just need a relaxing weekend, or if it’s something more major.

12/08/2021

What heals trauma?
A question I’m being asked regularly.
Below an extensive list of methods, treatments and tools.
It becomes very clear that being cross trained in different healing methods is a huge advantage. I see it regularly that a one method approach wouldn’t get my clients the results they are after.
There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach.
We are all different.

What Actually Heals Trauma? A Request For Crowd Sourcing Help!

“Sometimes I wake up & have to remind myself: ‘There is nothing wrong with me. I have patterns to unlearn, new behaviors to embody and wounds to heal. But there is nothing wrong with the core of me and who I am. I am unlearning generations of harm and remembering love. It takes time.’” -Yolo Akili

"If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." -African proverb

I just finished a three day deep dive on Bainbridge Island near Seattle with the founder of The Trauma Foundation Chris Rutgers, trying to solve the problem of democratizing effective trauma healing tools for anyone with physical or mental health related trauma symptoms who is ready to do the hard, slow inner work. What really heals trauma, we asked ourselves and a team of what we're calling the "unicorn" therapists, those who are cross trained in many trauma healing methods and are not die hard evangelists of only one method?

We believe that many healing modalities have great benefit, and all of them also have limitations and potential side effects and contraindications, just as a pharmacopoeia of medicines all have different indications and different side effect profiles. One size never fits all, and no medicine- pharmaceutical or trauma healing or energy healing or nutritional healing- ever fits all.

Before I arrived, Chris and the unicorns had already broken down their understanding of what heals trauma into five categories. We played with listing various trauma healing methods under each category. None of the existing trauma healing methods, in our assessment, hit each bucket, but many hit a few.

1) PSYCHOEDUCATION: This would include the cognitive part of understanding the difference between shock trauma and developmental trauma, beefing up on polyvagal theory so we can grok what happens in the autonomic nervous system, learning psychoneuroimmunology, raising awareness about how to recognize common trauma symptoms, such as dissociation, addiction, chronic pain, and pretty much all mental health disorders, understanding how trauma survivors might have a tendency towards spiritual bypassing rather than healing trauma, and learning Internal Family Systems (IFS) so we can have a compassionate, humanizing, non-pathologizing lens on the parts of ourselves that might cause harm to ourselves and others. Especially for those of us who intellectualize as a defense strategy against uncertainty and feeling emotions, learning what's happening inside can be empowering and comforting. Understanding Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation, IFS, NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), and Deb Dana's Polyvagal Theory in Therapy work are all really good at hitting this bucket.

2) UNDERSTANDING ADAPTIVE SURVIVAL STRATEGIES: As a subset of psychoeducation, this bucket refers to the cognitive awareness of why we develop the intelligent defense strategies, coping skills, and "protector parts" we learn as a way to survive trauma. Although these once adaptive strategies can become maladaptive after the acute phase of the trauma has passed, we often get stuck in old ways of being and need to learn new, healthier ways of being and behaving. Healing tools such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) work well for this aspect of healing trauma. They help us have compassion for ourselves and facilitate shame resilience so we can tolerate doing our shadow work without getting flooded or turning away from the darkness trauma injects into us all. IFS is particularly helpful in this case because it introduces the idea that we're likely to double down on our survival strategies until we understand them, work with them, and heal what they think they're protecting us from.

3) EMBODIMENT/SOMATIC MINDFULNESS: This category covers tools meant to help trauma survivors get back in their bodies, become more sensitive to internal bodily sensations, and develop "interoception," the ability to feel your body and feel your emotions in your body so you can perceive the state of your nervous system (ventral vagal, sympathetic, dorsal vagal). Developing accurate interoception helps you track how your autonomic nervous system state can creates your story (for example, if your nervous system is threatened when it's actually safe out there, your mind might make up a paranoid delusion to try to make sense of your faulty neuroception (when your nervous system inaccurately perceives safety as unsafe and danger as falsely safe.) Healing tools such as Somatic Experiencing, Kathy Kain and Stephen Terrell's Nurturing Resilience work, Somatic Transformation (Sharon Stanley),
Neuro Affective Relational Model (Larry Heller),
Mindful Awareness in Body Oriented Therapy (Cynthia Price),
Organic Intelligence (Steve Hoskinson), Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (Pat Ogden), dance, yoga, martial arts, qigong and Tai Chi, expressive arts therapy, certain kinds of energy healing and bodywork can all help with this aspect of healing trauma.

4) NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION: Perhaps the hardest to achieve aspect of healing trauma, nervous system regulation, refers to maintaining and restoring access to the healthy ventral vagal branch of the parasympathetic nervous system whenever a real threat is not present. Because so many trauma survivors live most of their lives in either the sympathetic (fight or flight) or the dorsal vagal parasympathetic (freeze) states, many trauma survivors have little access to the true rest, restore, repair, and connect state of the nervous system. Healing trauma depends upon the neuroplastic aspects of the nervous system and often means the nervous system needs to be completely rewired, which can be a tricky and slow process. Theoretically, ALL healers should be hitting this bucket by bringing their own ventral vagal, regulated nervous systems to the trauma survivor, entraining them into this healing frequency. But in reality, if you put many healers, doctors and therapists on monitors, the majority of them are dysregulated themselves because of their own traumas. So by definition, the healer needs to first heal thyself. Theoretically, all trauma healing methods, all energy healing methods, and all bodyworkers should help hit this bucket, though this is not always the case. For co-regulation,
Regulation & Resilience (Kathy Kain/Steve Terrell), Neuro Affective Relational Model, Somatic Transformation, Mindful Awareness In Body Oriented Therapy, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy may lend specific support to this bucket.

5) METABOLIZING IMPLICIT SENSATIONS, EMOTIONS & MEMORIES: This refers to the "memory reconsolidation" aspect of trauma healing. Memory reconsolidation, which allows new neural pathways to relearn and erase old pathways in the brain, not just suppressing the deep, unconscious, intensely problematic emotional lessons that result from trauma, but developing healthier pathways into those old grooves in the brain. 3 things are necessary for memory reconsolidation: 1) Exposure to vividly reimagining and revisiting the traumatic event (with care not to overwhelm the system.) 2) A juxtaposition experience- to create new neural pathways, you must juxtapose a neutral or pleasant cue with the traumatic memory or belief. 3) You retravel this new neural pathway enough to solidify it. Repetition allows you to experience this new emotional state often enough that it overrides the old neural pathway. The memory is still there. You haven’t forgotten it, but it’s neutralized. Tools to help hit this bucket include Internal Family Systems (IFS), energy psychology tools like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Advanced Integrative Therapy (AIT), Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Regulation & Resilience, Neuro Affective Relational Model, Somatic Transformation, Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine), Organic Intelligence (Steve Hoskinson), Mindful Awareness in Body Oriented Therapy.

I added a few more categories (with your help!) to Chris's five:

6) RESOURCING & MEANING MAKING: (As in, reSourcing) For some people, resourcing might be about getting basic survival and self care needs met. It's pointless to try to heal trauma if everyday life is still retraumatizing you. So if you're homeless, you'll need shelter. If you're hungry, you'll need food. If you're in an abusive relationship, you'll need to get safe. If you're an addict, you'll need rehab. If you're sick, you may need to get medical help to relieve symptoms until you can treat the trauma that might be causing those symptoms. If you've been putting all your attention on caregiving others, you'll need to be relieved of most, if not all, of your caregiving responsibilities.

Then you'll need to take stock and inventory the resources you do have. Are there social services you can call upon? Who is available and concerned enough to help care for you during your recovery period? What helps your nervous system settle? Nature? Animals? Exercise? Meditation? Massage? Art? Music? You'll need to know what helps you settle so if things get hard, you've got your go to tools to improve your resilience.

For many trauma survivors on a journey to recovery, your spirituality is your ultimate, ever ready, always available reSourcing tool- a way to reconnect the disconnection inside, to tap into Source as a way to transfuse yourself with life force and remember who you really are at the core of your being. This is likely why so many people feel like 12 Step programs help them- because there's a spiritual surrender to something Larger than allows the defense strategies to relax just the slightest bit. While some of the more scientifically-minded might deny that spirituality is helpful in healing trauma, I have yet to meet a trauma survivor with an effective recovery process who didn't rely on some sort of Higher Power, whether that be an inner spark, an outer God, the spirits of nature, or some sort of "energy" or "consciousness" believed to be larger than the small human ego or will. While spiritual bypassing practices can be contraindicated for trauma survivors and can actually be retraumatizing, spiritual practices like trauma-informed, non-dissociative, embodied meditation practices, pilgrimages, trauma-informed yoga, expressive arts therapy, Intentional Creativity, mindful self-compassion, and faith-based or energy healing tools can be beneficial as a reSourcing method. Included in this bucket might be meaning-making- a way to contextualize and even perhaps find gratitude for the way your trauma helped you develop psychologically and spiritually and gave you certain gifts you get to keep once you're far enough along in your recovery process.

7) TREATING NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS, INSTALLING A NEW IDENTIFY & REWRITING YOUR STORY: Because trauma distorts our thinking and causes limiting beliefs that can impact us our whole lives, identifying and treating those distortions after the traumas that have caused them are healed, can improve functioning and quality of life. Creating a new authentic identity and positive self regard while installing the qualities and beliefs that did not develop normally after removing all the toxic conditioning can help support an entirely new sense of beingness as you rewrite the story of who you are and why you went through all this suffering on the other side of healing trauma. Energy psychology tools like AIT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT,) IFS, narrative medicine tools, certain kinds of spiritual self-inquiry practices, and mystical practices can all help hit this bucket.

8) COMMUNITY: Although it's very American to believe everything can be accomplished in a rugged individualistic self-help manner, most trauma happens in unhealthy relationships and therefore must be healed with the support of safe, healthy relationships. While a one-on-one healing relationship with a trauma therapist, doctor, bodyworker, or healer may be a good starting place, just as a people in recovery from addiction need their 12 step groups, people in recovery from trauma need the support of safe, supportive, non-judgmental others who are also in recovery, who are trying to live healthy, authentic, Self-led lives. Some people may find this kind of safe community in faith-based communities, though many in religious circles are themselves traumatized and not in recovery. Some might seek out New Age spiritual communities, though those are often guilty of spiritual bypassing. Part of what supports trauma recovery is realizing that the ways you've been to hell and back can help people who are still in hell, which is why we're adding a peer-to-peer aspects to the community based trauma healing recovery program we're working on in the non-profit program I'm developing- Heal At Last, a peer support, group trauma healing community. When we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there was one more rung above self actualization that he added on before he died-to serve others, to participate in being part of the interdependence of a functioning compassionate society.

We're trying to sort out first, what heals trauma, and then, how do we deliver those tools in a group setting? Which, if any, of these healing tools are scalable, and which have to be delivered only in a one on one setting. It feels like Mission Impossible, but I pray about it every day- "God, if you really want this to happen, please help us." We can't do this without a bunch of miracles, so add us to your prayers and intentions please. And go to our website and sign up for our list if you want to help in some way!

What did Chris and I miss? Your crowd sourcing help would be most welcome here! Any key buckets we neglected to include?