
13/04/2025
When I treat adults with ADHD, I meet some of the best of the best maskers on the planet.
■ Masking means deliberately or unconsciously suppressing or covering up traits associated with ADHD. This can include:
• Over-preparing or over-organizing to hide executive function struggles.
• Mirroring others’ behaviour in social situations.
• Suppressing impulsive thoughts or behaviours even when it's uncomfortable.
• Forcing eye contact or rehearsing conversations to appear "neurotypical."
• Hiding hyperactivity by turning it inward (e.g., anxious fidgeting instead of obvious movement).
■ Why Do People with ADHD Mask?
• To avoid stigma or being seen as lazy, careless, or "too much."
• Due to internalised shame from years of criticism or underachievement.
• To meet social or academic expectations.
• Because they weren’t diagnosed, and masking became a coping mechanism.
■ The Hidden Cost of Masking
While masking can help people "get by," it often leads to:
• Burnout or mental fatigue from constant self-monitoring.
• Anxiety, depression, or other co-occurring conditions.
• A delayed or missed diagnosis, especially in women.
• A sense of identity confusion ("Who am I when I'm not masking?").
■ The most important factors in later life diagnosis, commonly overlooked are:
• Medication is not the answer to all your problems, you have to deliberately redesign your behavioural patterns and work through the deep seeded feelings of shame and worthlessness. Getting the right mentor who understands you, is key.
• You need to recalibrate your nervous system to operate in a smaller range of peaks and troughs so somatic therapies like Kinesiology will give you the most improvement vs hours of talk therapy.
• There will be disassociation between the mind and body and they need to be on the same team, learning to be whole takes time so hang in there and don't give up.