23/07/2022
* Repost from a few years ago
I am yet to know of anyone who died of depression.
Sounds stupid doesn't it? Surely people with depression commit su***de?
Of course they do. But they don't just have depression.
When someone su***des, everyone reacts differently. Some think it's selfish, some understand the overwhelming desire to leave this earth. Some think... 'f**k.. I thought they had it sorted, I have no hope!'
However, what is rarely ever talked about is the underlying causes of what caused the depression, the substance abuse, the anxiety... complex trauma... and often specifically... Adverse Childhood Experiences
When someone su***des, I can be shocked, but on deeper digging, I am rarely surprised.
People with 4 or more Adverse Childhood Experiences are 12 times more likely to su***de. 12 f**king times!
What are Adverse Childhood Experiences?
- Abuse: Physical, Emotional, Sexual
- Trauma in home: Parental substance abuse, separation/divorce of parents, mentally unwell/suicidal household member, violence in the home, incarcerated family member
- Neglect: Abandonment, child's basic physical/emotional needs unmet
What are the impacts of the above on the developing brain?
- Disrupted neurodevelopment
- Difficulty controlling anger/rage
- Hallucinations
- Depression
- Panic reactions
- Anxiety
- Multiple Somatic Problems (physical pain)
- Sleep Problems
- Impaired Memory
- Flashbacks
- Dissociation
These then lead to risky behaviour
- Smoking
- Obesity
- Physical Inactivity
- Su***de Attempts
- Alcohol/Drug Abuse
- 50+ Sexual Partners
- Self Harm
- Eating Disorders
- Perpetuate Interpersonal Violence
What are the long term consequences of trauma that goes unaddressed?
- Heart Disease
- Cancers
- Lung Disease
- Asthma
- Liver Disease
- Poor Health
- STDs
Socially?
- Homelessness
- Prostitution
- Delinquency/Violence/Anti Social Behaviour
- Inability to sustain employment
- Re-Victimisation: R**e, Violence
- Inability to parent
- Long term use of health, behavioural health, correctional, and social services
Judging people on a moment in time, their 'split' decision to su***de, when they have spent a life time trying to stay alive, to deal with what has happened in their life... is one of the most selfish judgements you can make.
Instead, be curious in WHAT HAS HAPPENED to a person, not WHAT IS WRONG with them.
Instead, look at the root causes of their depression, anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse.
Instead, look at your own life. Are you dealing with your ACE's? Are you ensuring your childrens ACE's are kept to a minimum? You can't stop them completely, they will happen. But when they do, are you dealing with them? Are you asking for help? Or pretending this s**t doesn't exist?
What is the biggest piece of advice I can give someone who is suffering? From someone who after hearing of a celebrity suiciding... When they are thinking 'f**k, they had it all, money, fame, support, love... how am I going to survive?'
NEVER BECOME COMPLACENT... EVER!
- Don't take your good mental health for granted... one trigger can send you backwards... work continuously on it
- Ask for help! All of the time if you need it!
- Follow trauma experts advise, use whatever works, if that is medication, good eating, lots of sleep, Counselling, meditation, working out, yoga... whatever works for you
- Congratulate yourself for making it this far... if you have found adaptations to stay alive, and I don't care if that is he**in, booze, self harm... all of these are keeping you here right now so you can function. Society may not agree... but you are alive!
Hopefully you stay with us long enough to then deal with those adaptations to find new healthier ones.
It can be done, I've done it, Christians done it, I know many people who have done it. Use whatever works for you! There are so many incredible programs available, I hope you find them!
I know many people will disagree with me, and that's ok! I didn't come up with this stuff on a whim. This is many many years of educating myself on my own trauma. On getting myself help. And then helping others.
It's also what some of the greatest minds of our time have concluded.
Be trauma informed, for yourself, for others, for your children.
It's the only way we can change the cycle!
