15/02/2026
The Void Of The Other Soul
For so long I’d been searching for you.
And now that I’ve found you
How is any of this true?
How was this pain more bearable when I thought you were gone...
And when you were so silent for so very long?
In the void of nothingness,
I found a strength to go on.
I lied to myself.
I questioned my sense of what was right and what was wrong.
I questioned my consciousness every time I held on.
Was it divine intervention,
Or just a stubbornness
Born from entertaining these thoughts for too fu***ng long?
What was it now that I really felt?
Was it my pride? or my ego
or something more than myself?
The truth got lost in a sea full of doubt.
4 years of searching
For answers to validate how I felt.
I was searching for a truth
A recognition of my own knowing.
A false hope and belief,
Started dictating where I was going.
I felt there was a guidance from within
Taking the lead.
And maybe if I just trusted it,
I would finally be able to see,
I’m not crazy, or broken
It was always meant to be.
A truth or a lie – I was too blind to see
I found you in everyone, everything.
I started connecting dots
That didn’t belong.
I was hearing messages in every song
I felt you so intensely. Your energy was so strong.
Your presence, I felt it, I swear it was there.
I played a dangerous game, I couldn’t admit you
Were gone – these false broken people
Gave me strength to go on.
At first it was literal
I really thought it
Was you
I looked so hard, I looked right past the truth.
The excitement and anticipation just constantly grew
I met so many strangers hoping that they were you.
I was crazy – insane – just right out of my mind
Surely this wasn’t all for nothing
What was it I was really meant to find?
Then it clicked. I got it, I finally realized
It was an energy – a frequency – I was feeling your vibe
Through other people, it was still you – just not the you I could see with my eyes
What I was experiencing was a soul in disguise?
But what was the purpose? Was this divine?
Or just another lie, conceived to give me some peace of in my mind?
But each connection opened me up to a more empathetic version of me,
I was able to let go
Trusting everything was the way it should be!
And maybe this journey was never about you –
Maybe it was about discovering the true essence of my being.
Time goes on – and finally I’m able to admit
That all I believed – was nothing more than a trip
It was all falsely conceived
And there was nothing more to it
Quite simply I had just been wrong.
There was no more confusion
Just an ego left feeling bruised.
I told myself—it was never love it was just being used—
And what I connected to was really abuse.
It was my vicious cycle—it was too clear not to be true.
Finally things made sense—so I didn’t have to hold on to you.
Then just like that right out of the blue.
Up popped your number—it was active—just like the universe knew.
4 years had passed, and I was finally through with the pain and distortion
But I still could not help it—my anxiety grew—it got too much;
I could not deny it, I just knew—I could not fight it—my one real
Addiction was you-
I reached out & I texted –
I completely withdrew – and who would of guessed it –
On the other end of that same number – once silent ... was you.
4 years of searching –
Conversation was short – so little said for such time gone –
This low level of communication – always short, never lasting long –
For a couple of years continued to go on.
Once burnt – twice shy – I kept you at an arm.
It felt safe – play it cool & stay calm & and never ever forget all the harm.
Strategic –
I treated each interaction like a game
Each message played to avoid feeling any pain
I had my heart in an armour – and my love in a cage.
You asked to meet up and I still didn’t cave – and now I’m just realising you were
Being really brave.
I shut you down—I was rude—I had a lot to say—
I made sure you understood my answer was—no fu***ng way
And if we’re being honest—its one of my biggest regrets to date.
Now here we are—again
I’m feeling so many feelings I don’t know where to begin
I just know that I love you—you’ve always been more than a friend—
I think you feel the same
I don’t think our connection ever did end
You’re all that I want and have wanted for so long—
But now that we’re here—
I feel more sad than before
How can something so fated
Be so wrong