Kellie Sheldon - Trauma and Sex Counsellor

22/04/2026

I know we don’t talk a lot about the cross over with ASD/ADHD and CPTSD - this is handy to know as we also see these behaviours with CPTSD.

Masking is exhausting. Do you see yourselves in some of these?

08/04/2026

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Tragic optimism is the idea that a person can still choose hope and meaning even when life is painful, unfair, or difficult. It does not mean ignoring sadness or pretending everything is okay. Instead, it means accepting that suffering is real while still believing that life can still have value. For example, a person may go through loss, failure, or stress, but instead of giving up, they look for something they can still learn, grow from, or hold on to. It is about saying, “This is hard, but I will still move forward.”

You can think of tragic optimism as the healthy opposite, or counterpart, of toxic positivity. Toxic positivity pushes people to stay positive all the time and ignore negative emotions, which can make people feel unheard or pressured. Tragic optimism, on the other hand, allows you to feel pain, sadness, or fear, while still choosing hope.

30/03/2026

If you’ve ever walked out of a therapy session and spent the rest of the day in your head tearing yourself apart - this one is for you.

That spiral you can’t seem to stop? It’s not because you’re broken or too much or too far gone.

It’s because the original wound was never fully processed. And talk therapy alone can’t get there.

That’s exactly what EMDR and parts work are designed to do.

We work with Gen X women who have been carrying childhood trauma for decades - women who know their history but can’t seem to shift it in their body.

If that’s you, I’d love to connect.
DM me or hit the link in bio to find out more about working together.

27/03/2026

Stop ignoring your trauma. The longer you wait, the more it costs.

I put off a massage for my crook neck for weeks, I started poking at it to try and release the tension but only made it worse.

You don’t need to wait until it feels like the last straw. The last thing you can do, by that point, someone has already checked out more than they would have 6 months ago.

If your partner is telling you something is upsetting them, please listen. Your trauma is affecting them too. It’s in the room whether you deal with it or not.

Healing takes time. Starting late means you’re already behind.

You don’t need a crisis to be your reason.

11/03/2026

Nobody talks about this part of healing from childhood sexual abuse.

The part where two completely opposite things are true at the same time. Where you can be okay and not okay in the same breath. Where you can be proud of how far you’ve come and completely exhausted by how far there still is to go.

The world doesn’t have a category for that. People want to know if you’re fine or if you’re struggling. They’re not comfortable with both.

But both is the truth for so many women healing from childhood trauma. Both has always been the truth.

A message from me to you - functioning is not the same as fine. Struggling doesn’t mean you are falling apart. And holding both of those things at the same time - while still showing up, still doing the work, still getting out of bed - that’s you being amazing.

That is what trauma recovery actually looks like from the inside.

You don’t have to choose which one is real. You don’t have to look okay for the world and hide the rest. You are allowed to be the woman who shows up and the woman who is barely holding on.

Both of you are doing an extraordinary job.

Send this to yourself for a day you forget that.

10/03/2026

Have a read of this….

This is why we need to jeep talking about what EMDR is and what it does.

Its not hypnosis - yes it can FEEL like
it - but its NOT. It mimics REM sleep which is the only time both side of the brain communicate and reshuffle information.

Because of this issue stated in the article, I explore court possibilities with clients BEFORE Emdr begins - this way there is evidence of what the distress was like. We offer up transcripts as well. We also film the sessions of Emdr, again for evidence, and follow the strick standard protocol. Cover your bases as such.

This does not dictate if the evidence can be used or submitted though, so in any case, if you are looking at court proceedings we talk about the possible outcomes in length.

The bit they miss, we definitely don’t make new memories, but the memories you have become clearer and often you remember details you previously forgotten.

Let’s talk about this…. What do you think?

Katie Bird sought psychological help for intrusive memories related to alleged sexual abuse. Her court case was discontinued because she underwent eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.

09/03/2026

There’s a part of healing from childhood sexual abuse that we don’t speak enough about. And it’s not the abuse itself.
 
It’s everything that was taken from you because of it.
 
I’ve sat with so many women who can tell me exactly what happened to them. But when I ask them what they lost because of it — they go quiet. Nobody has ever asked them that before. Nobody has ever given them permission to name it.
 
So let’s name it today.
 
It took the little girl who deserved to just be a child. Carefree, safe, unbothered by a world that wasn’t supposed to be scary yet. She deserved to exist. She didn’t get the chance.
 
It took the parent who was supposed to stand between you and harm. For a lot of you that protection never came. That soft place to land was never there. And that is its own grief entirely.
 
It took your body before you even knew it was yours. S*xuality was supposed to be something you discovered slowly, on your own terms. It was stolen. Before you had words for any of it.
 
It took your ability to trust people. You learnt early that people weren’t safe and so you built walls. Not because you wanted to be alone — but because alone felt survivable and closeness didn’t.
 
It took the woman you were supposed to become. The dreams, the confidence, the natural unfolding of who you were meant to be. You were too busy surviving to let any of that happen.
 
It took your time. Years. Decades. And that is a loss too.
 
You cannot heal what you never name. Not because naming it fixes everything — god I wish it did. But because naming it makes it real. And real things can be grieved. And grief is how you begin to take yourself back.
 
You are allowed to name all of it. Out loud. Without apology.
 
The stolen childhood. The parent who didn’t protect you. The body that was taken. The relationships that felt impossible. The woman you were meant to be. The time.
 
You deserve to be you. All of you. Not just the parts that survived.
 
Save this. Share it with someone who has never been given permission to name what was taken from them. 💙
 
 
 

08/03/2026

These women…

My two girls - charlotte and Jazmine.

My staff - Cheryl and Sally.

My business besties - Fiona, Sam and Maggie - life with you in it ❤️❤️❤️❤️

And all the amazing women I am so humbled and lucky to work with - 🌺🫶🏼🌺🫶🏼🌺





proud

05/03/2026

You feel like you will never wake up from the dream that keeps you stuck in that room with THEM as a child. The feeling of them taking everything from you will be with you forever. Being an adult in adult relationships is hard!

I've lost count how many times I've been asked to 'fix' someone by a certain date. It doesn't work like that. And god I wish it did.

I promise you, it won't always be like this. Those first few moments of change you will miss, you won't notice it until someone points it out. And you will question it - I get it, this has been your life for 30 plus years.

But one day you will drive somewhere and not white knuckle the wheel. One day you will say no and not spend three days apologising for it in your head. One day you will let someone love you without waiting for them to leave.

You won't trust it at first. That's okay. Trust was never safe before.

The healing isn't loud, it doesn't announce itself. It just quietly shows up in the small moments you almost miss.

That's how you know it's real.
You are not stuck forever. You are just not done yet.
And that is enough for today.
You are enough today.

If you think you'd like to dip your toe in and move your life forward, send me a DM. Lets chat in how I can support you.