Kellie Sheldon - Trauma and Sex Counsellor

03/02/2026

This is how we work to help our clients learn their ladder and climb to the top.

1️⃣ Identify where you are on the ladder and name it.
2️⃣ Experiment with what helps you climb the ladder using external grounding skills.
3️⃣ Practice these skills in small doses.
4️⃣ Practice transitioning between your activated state and a more grounded state. Move between the uncomfortable feeling and grounded state for 2-3 seconds each time.

Gradually, your ability to remain grounded will improve, allowing you to move up and down the ladder more easily.

It takes a lot of practice, somedays might be harder to move between states than others.

You’re not stuck forever. You’re building new ways of using your ladder.

You will start to recognise when your nervous system is beginning to heal; the higher levels will become more manageable, and it will feel comfortable to experience  some safety.

30/01/2026

I wish someone told me that with my childhood sexual trauma history my kids wanting to be close would make me want to rip my skin off.

Problem is, good mums and meant to want to hug their kids, and to cherish that moment. Me, anything but. But I NEVER spoke that out loud.

I thought I hid it well enough, until I realised I didn’t.

This was a conversation I had in session a while back. The mum - she was devastated, beside herself. Riddled with so much grief and shame.

I told her - this is not your fault. Your child part is stuck in that bedroom where so many bad things happened to you, you learnt that touch wasn’t safe - and it came with secrets.

I told her - you found a way back then to protect yourself, you shut yourself down and pulled away. All completely normal.

You learnt you were not allowed to ask for your own physical space - but now, as an adult, you get to honour that feeling in your body. You get to limit how much touch and closeness you have.

This isn’t about forcing yourself to be touched, it’s about letting that part of you know you’ve got them, bonus, you teach your kids it’s okay to ask for space and say no to touch. You survived.

If this is you and you’ve ever felt it, DM or leave “me” in the comments so you know you’re not alone.

28/01/2026

The double standards in the comments is purely 🤮🤮🤮. No wonder boys/men do not speak out.

The boy's response to the birth of his child can finally be revealed. Read more: https://trib.al/l4GFmHr

28/01/2026

Can we talk about the intimacy hangover?

You know that feeling when you’re replaying everything, analysing every moment, wondering if you did something wrong or if there’s something wrong with YOU?

What’s happening is a nervous system disconnect and response. Your conscious mind enjoyed the experience. But your subconscious is running a totally different program, one written years ago when closeness meant pain.

Because of this confusion your body hits the panic button AFTER the fact, flooding you with anxiety, shame, or the overwhelming urge to withdraw.

You can update that information, with the right support, your body can learn that intimacy is safe NOW, not just during, but in the vulnerable hours and days that follow.

You don’t have to push your way through this alone or stay in a state of confusion - we can help you work through that.

Send us a DM or save for later.

26/01/2026

Quite often we grow up in homes where our parents don’t have the capacity to hug us - touch isn’t safe for them, then it becomes weird for us.

When you allow touch in, your body is all stiff as it’s not sure what to do - then it relaxes.

Is this familiar?

This is a story we often don’t speak about. It happens, it’s real. Our parents have trauma they don’t share with us, but their bodies do.

Thoughts?



Mom tv show.

23/01/2026

What if we're getting it all wrong?

We're quick to label behaviors as toxic—stonewalling, manipulation, gaslighting. But what if what looks like avoidance is actually a nervous system in overdrive? What if silence isn't punishment, but protection?

Your body doesn't always speak the language of logic. Sometimes it just remembers danger, even when you're safe. And when that happens, the parts of you that learned to survive by shutting down, by going quiet, by retreating, they're not trying to hurt anyone. They're trying to keep you alive.

The truth is, trauma doesn't always look like what we expect. It can look like someone who can't find their words in an argument. Someone whose body goes numb when things get intense. Someone who desperately wants to connect but doesn't know how to stay present when it matters most.

So before we pathologise every difficult moment, maybe we ask: Is this person being harmful, or are they hurting?Because there's a massive difference and one of them deserves compassion, not a label.

If you've ever felt misunderstood in your responses, know this: your nervous system isn't broken. It's doing exactly what it was trained to do. The work now is helping it learn it's safe to do something different.

Ready to find your voice again? Send me a PM and let's walk through this together, because you deserve to be seen for who you really are, not what your trauma made you become.

20/01/2026

What if we stopped pathologising our bodies and started listening to them?

Your nervous system isn’t broken, it’s doing what it’s meant to do - it’s protecting you. The language we use matters.

Instead of “I got triggered,” try “my body detected danger.” This small reframe changes everything. It moves us from shame to understanding, from fixing to honoring.

Drop a 💙 if this resonates with you.