Adaptable Social Work

23/04/2026

How society judges parents after ignoring how long they have been struggling to cope ….

It gets labelled so quickly. I’m sure you’ve heard some of these said about your parenting:

❌ “Not coping.”
❌ “Attachment issues at home.”
❌ “Struggling to manage.”
❌ “Lacks boundaries.”
❌ “Inconsistent parenting.”
❌ “Needs firmer routines.”
❌ “Giving in too much.”
❌ “Too anxious.”
❌ “Overly emotional.”

But what people don’t see is how long you have been coping.

The years of holding it together.

Of adjusting, absorbing, advocating, firefighting.

Of keeping everything going behind the scenes while your child is struggling in front of you.

This isn’t someone failing to cope.

This is what happens when someone has been coping with too much for far too long and without the right support, understanding, or change.

And eventually — something has to give.

If this resonates… drop a ❤️ or share this with someone who needs to understand what “not coping” really looks like.

23/04/2026

🍎 "School Can't" vs. "School Won't" – Let’s talk about the difference.

❌ School Won't: often called School Refusal is a behavioural lens, whereby the student is understood as being defiant, lazy, or simply choosing not to engage. It’s framed as a lack of will.

🛑 School Can't: recognises Autistic Burnout or School Refusal (better termed School Avoidance). It’s not a choice; it’s a nervous system response. When a child’s environment is too sensory-overwhelming, socially complex, or academically taxing, their brain goes into survival mode (fight, flight, or freeze).

When we frame it as "won't," we respond with discipline. When we recognize it as "can't," we respond with support, adjustments, and compassion.

Let’s stop expecting students to push through the "can't" and start building environments where they can. 💡

For information and advice on navigating School Can't, see our eBook available on our website:
https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/minibook

22/04/2026

Some tips to make sure you get the most out of medical appointments. Trust me they really work I have used these strategies many times. I found keeping a diary was a must for conditions that fluctuate - it can be hard to express yourself in the moment without preparation.

22/04/2026

Looking for a book to help you explain Autism and ADHD to your child?

21/04/2026

What is ableism?

It’s the discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities. It’s based on the false idea that being "able-bodied" is the "normal" way to exist. 🛑. Often ableism is subconscious and unintended.

It shows up in many ways:
✅ Physical barriers (no ramps or elevators.
✅ Sensory overwhelming environments (loud, bright or busy)
✅ Harmful language (using "crazy" or "lame" as insults)
✅ Assumptions (thinking someone "doesn't look disabled")
✅ Inspiration p**n (treating everyday tasks as heroic)

Creating a truly inclusive world means moving beyond "awareness" and toward accessibility and equity. ♿️🤟

🧠Let’s unlearn the bias.

21/04/2026

20/04/2026

20/04/2026

Maintaining a job while parenting a child with PDA is hard.

18/04/2026

Struggling with your children over screen time?

When my kids were little, I tightly controlled their screen time. Our rules were set by me and held tightly. Because screens weren’t a normal part of the day. They were scarce. They were precious. And that scarcity changed everything about the way my kids treated their screentime.

The tiny bits of screentime that I gave them made them feel like they never got enough, so any time they could, they would steal my phone to get a little bit of showtime or gaming time. And I was left wondering: Have I created monsters? And also: How do I make them stop?

Without really realizing it, I was in a “me vs. you” mindset:

You love screens
(but I don’t trust screens).
I need to control this
(and you need to do what I say).

And given that dynamic, there are only a few possible outcomes:
You obey me (with resentment).
You resist my rules (intensely!)
You sneak screens (because of shame).

None of those outcomes build the skills our kids actually need. And none of them led to a relationship of trusting connection, which is the bedrock of healthy attachment and healthy growth. Because the long game we’re working toward isn’t: “Can I control my child’s screen use today?” The long game is actually: “Can my child learn how to navigate screens in a healthy way for the rest of their life?” Eventually, I understood that being rigidly controlled doesn’t teach them to navigate screens in a healthy way.

But collaboration does.

A collaborative approach means we go from: “I set the rules, you follow them” to 👉 “We figure it out together.”

I’m not saying that I don’t give them any guidance or that I don’t have any needs, preferences, or opinions.
I totally do! It doesn’t mean “anything goes,” or passivity, or stepping back entirely. It means shifting the parental role from rule enforcer to trusted partner.

This approach is deeply aligned with the work of Ross Greene and the model of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), which is built on this foundational idea: “Kids do well if they can.”

The #1 thing that adults have to release in collaboration is the power posture of “I know best.” We let go of our power OVER our kids in order to find the better, truer source of power - the power to work WITH them to achieve more in partnership than we ever could on our own. When we started this shift, my kids were young, roughly 4 to 8 years old. The collaborative approach that we practiced every day around screens became the blueprint for everything else we’ve figured out since then.

As my grow older, those same skills show up in their:
peer relationships
capacity for sibling repair
independence and autonomy
decision-making in high-stakes situations
self-trust and ability to listen to their intuition

We didn’t just change screen time. We changed how we relate to each other and how we can collaborate on challenges big and small.

So if you’re asking: “What screen rules should I use?” I want to gently offer a different question: “What kind of relationship do I want to build?” Because that relationship is the foundation for everything else.

How to collaborate on screens w/ YOUR KIDS

Step 1: Move from rules to shared values
Step 2: Replace “yes or no” with “let’s try it”
Step 3: Get curious about what’s actually hard for your specific kid(s)
Step 4: Connection is the real safety tool!!

Read the full blog and take a deep dive into collaboration by checking out the full blog at amandadiekman.com/blog or comment "BLOG" to have the link sent to your DMs.

17/04/2026

For many autistic people, masking is a survival tool—but it often comes at the cost of losing touch with our own bodies.

When you’re constantly performing to "fit in," you can lose access to interoception (your internal body signals). This makes consent and boundary-setting incredibly difficult because:

🚩 Muted Alarms: You might not feel the "gut feeling" or physical tension that says "I’m uncomfortable" until you’re already overwhelmed.
🚩 The Fawn Response: Masking often trains us to please others to stay safe, leading to a "yes" when our body actually means "no."
🚩 Alexithymia: It’s hard to advocate for your needs when you can't distinguish between anxiety, hunger, or genuine attraction.

Consent isn't just about what we say; it’s about what we feel.

Have you ever felt a “delayed”
realization that a boundary was crossed? Let’s talk about how we can support in rebuilding bodily connection. 👇

☎️📞 Linda at Adaptable Social Work 0472 510 133 or
📧 linda@adaptablesocialwork.com.au