06/08/2024
Harry Garside’s recent post (shown below), describes the heartbreak of loss in a raw and humble way, and teaches us something incredibly important.
Loss Recovery
Phase 1
Within the context of polyvagal theory, we cound describe his experience as a ‘freeze’ response. This occurs when the threat or stressor becomes unmanageable, and the mind shifts the body from the sympathetic driven “fight/flight - I CAN” mode, to the parasympathetic driven state “I CAN’T”. The body responds by freezing and shutting down, in an attempt to ‘play dead’. This is a common physiological shift when someone accepts defeat, and even moreso a loss that’s internationally broadcast, as the brain responds to the social risk. Recovery from this requires regulation of the nervous system and is just as important as physical recovery.
Phase 2
Once Harry’s body has healed and is back feeling safe and regulated, he can move onto the emotional processing. Harry’s pride in his craft and his sense of self has taken a beating. This will raise a lot of difficult emotions. I think the most significant aspect of Harry’s post, however, is that he recognises this excruciating part of the journey of an athlete is something to open up to, despite it being scary. Because he has great emotion regulation skills and he will process these feelings, he is positioning himself to fully recover. He will move forward in his career with increased resilience, rather than the fear of loss holding him back.
He is not just physically strong,
He is not just mentally strong,
He is emotionally strong 💪
This is a part of a successful career as an athlete.
Congratulations Harry Garside
I feel this quiet storm brewing inside of me, and to be honest I’m terrified to pay any attention to it. I find myself trying to numb all parts of it, trying my hardest to distract myself from that of myself. I will say though, it’s nice to notice something inside my body again. I feel since I fought, my soul has shut down and my body is just going through the motions. It’s quite remarkable how well a wounded soul can shift into self preservation mode. It’s almost like it knows; now is not the time to feel it. Or maybe there is something inside of me trying to avoid surrendering to the emotions because it doesn’t want to be reminded of what happened. I know logically that my sporting performances don’t define who I am as person. It is hard not to feel ashamed or disappointed with the man that looks back at me in the mirror. I know this will pass and I know I will be okay.
Geez the human experience is wild, I wonder if other animals feel as deeply as humans do?
