The Clearing Room with Katy Walker

Home
Australia
Mount Barker, SA
The Clearing Room with Katy Walker

Be there. Help well. Make it matter. Practical tools, guidance and support to help you and your team show up for others with confidence and care.

21/04/2026

Perhaps an uncomfortable truth.

We live in systems and social structures that teach us, actively, to get people OUT of their pain, not to stay with them in it. WE struggle to stay with their struggle.

Here's a thing about pain, even if we distract or avoid or cover over - it stays there waiting to be felt. Being tethered to other human beings during emotional distress is some of the best pain relief we have.

14/04/2026

STORYTIME WITH KATY

The other day I was about to walk down some outdoor steps at my local shopping centre. It was an open-rise staircase, the kind with no vertical panels to close the gaps between the steps. In front of me was a child, only one or two steps down. At first glance I thought she was injured, but as I kept watching I realised she wasn’t moving slow because she was hurt, she was moving slow because she was scared.

Both her little hands gripping the handrail, she was tentatively hovering a shaking foot out in front of her to find the next step. The trailing foot would then quickly find its partner for a moment of safety together before the next shaky reach. She was the epitome of one step at a time.

As her father and sibling quickly reached the bottom of the stairs, he called back “what’s wrong?!”, Mum, who was patiently waiting halfway down replied, “she’s scared of the see-through steps”.

I watched in awe as this child made her way down the staircase, wobbly, and white-knuckled all the way. When she finally made it to the bottom, her shoulders dropped and she shook out her hands and arms as if to rid her body of the last traces of adrenaline, I could hear the relieved sigh.

I began to move down. “Sorry!” Mum mouthed to me as I started my descent. “Totally fine”, I replied just in time to meet them both on the ground. I smiled at the little girl and said, “I want you to know, the next time I’m have to do something that I’m really scared of doing I’m going to think of you!” She looked perplexed. “Yep!”, I reiterated “I just watched you do something really scary for you and you just, did it! One step at a time, you were afraid and you did it. I hope I’m as brave as you when it’s my turn to be scared!”

I got a little smile from her, a big smile from Mum and an even bigger reminder that courage doesn’t often feel big or strong or heroic. Courage means fear is right here on us, and we’re doing it anyway. One tiny, tentative step at a time.

🤍K

11/04/2026

If you ever wonder why people stop trying to "speak up" when they're struggling...

07/04/2026

What might happen if we DIDN'T cheer people up?
What might transpire if we STOPPED trying to make people feel 'better'?
What might it look like if we LET people feel what they're feeling?
What might it be like in our homes, workplaces, and communities if we DIDN'T ask people to cover over their pain?
...I wonder.

02/04/2026

"It's ok!" "You'll be right", "It's not that bad", "Try not to think about it", "Someone's got it worse", "At least you aren't..."

Wherever struggle is linked to deficit, fault, weakness, sickness or being broken, you'll notice people move much quicker to avoid it, rescue themselves and others from it, fix it and minimise it wherever possible.

If we think struggle means something is wrong, it makes sense to attempt to abolish from our lives.

BUT, what if struggle is an integral part of being human, and is actually as sign of good things - like growth, vulnerability, learning and opportunities for connection & care?

How might we respond to feeling and witnessing struggle if we really believed that discomfort is normal, OK, right and meaningful?

Maybe it would sound like:

"Thanks for saying", "Tell me more", "That makes sense", "Life IS hard huh?!", "I'm glad I know", "This is real".

29/03/2026

It took me a long time to learn this one simple thing:

Happy isn't a "good" emotion. Sad isn't a "bad" emotion. They're just different emotions.

They feel different, produce different chemical reactions in our brains and bodies, and have different purposes.

Happiness doesn't need to be clung to, or placed on a pedestal as the quintessential emotion. Sadness doesn't need to be avoided, minimised or banished. They're both equally important, both valuable, both necessary and both vital for wellbeing.

The sooner we all wrap our heads around this truth, the sooner we can move towards clearing room for both in our own experience - and in lives of the people around us.

Sad isn't bad! It's just different.

🤍 K

26/03/2026

Here's a thing. When we know our teens are heading into a risky, new or low-support environment, it can be really tempting to want to reiterate every rule and piece of parental wisdom we have! Makes sense, we don't want them to get hurt.

Here's another thing. Almost every teen I've met knows exactly what their parents would say about all the big ticket topics; drugs, alcohol, s*x, parties - you name it, they know it! Telling them what they already know is unlikely to make them, or you, feel any safer.

So, an alternative goal for safety in new environments is to try a curious approach that allows our teens to plan ahead and problem solve when cortisol is low and their brains are substance-free. Encouraging them to think ahead, and being genuinely curious and open to hearing about their plans can be very effective.

NOTE: With the exception of reminding them you'll always be there if they need help in the moment, try not to talk over them, point out the flaws in their plans or add extra things (remember they likely already know the rules). The idea is to invite them to plan ahead - not to expect them to have the same plan as you would.

23/03/2026

With the school year well and truly underway, friendships are often a hot topic! Here's a few reminders of what is "normal" during adolescence when it comes to friends.

14/12/2025

“To be ill adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown” - Jeanette Winterson 💔

08/12/2025

Maybe all we need is human connection. Maybe it’s as simple, and as complicated, as that.

04/12/2025

What would it be like if there was no costs associated with accessing the safety of human connection during distress?

Address

Mount Barker, SA
5251

Website

http://www.theclearingroom.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Clearing Room with Katy Walker posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Mount Barker?