19/10/2025
I'm back in hospital π
When I arrived in my room the clock had stopped.
Ironically, that suspended time in the middle of the day - when the hands didn't move - co-existed with the news that....
π there are new metastasis - in bone, liver and bowel.
π one is in my spine, causing a fracture (hence all the back pain) and frighteningly close to my spinal cord.
π I am 1mm away from paralysis.
π I'm not to move from my bed except to go to the toilet.
π I'm having spinal fusion at T10 on Tuesday.
π it will be a 12 week recovery.
I am just gutted.
And telling loved ones, watching their pain, is the hardest bit.
I'm so sorry to share this news π
I had been feeling SO good before this pain arrived!
Cruelly, I am reminded that 'feeling good' is not a sure sign you are cancer-free.
This is the most mystifying disease, so deceptive, so unkind.
I am back to reviewing everything I do, think, feel, eat and speak... but then that increases stress and THAT'S not good.
So the mind loops!!!
What I do know is that THIS is a SETBACK π© ππͺ«π....but ALL IS NOT LOST! π«π€
I'm not giving up and there is goodness and signs of hope all around me.
I am observing the miracles rolling in....
π« my spinal cord is intact despite the odds.
π« I have a great medical and alternative health care team I've set up over the past year.
π« I have the most amazing, loving, resilient family.
π« My community of peeps is on fire with love and support.
π« I have my own hyperthermia machine which is going to bang that bad-boy on its cellular head.
π« I have unlimited access to God, spirit and all the light beings, showering unconditional love on me.
π« I am not afraid.
π« I believe I can heal - I just need to figure out how π€π§π
I will be asking for your presence and light next Tuesday morning - to vision with me the most effective surgery that restores movement and vibrancy to my spine after it takes away all the rubble of bone and cancer.
Let's light candles and invoke healing.
I know it worked last time.
There is no cancer in my pelvis post hysterectomy! ππ
Love you all deeply and wholeheartedly π©·
Your love moves mountains.
Susan xx