Anne Thistleton Counselling

08/04/2026

From “In Love” to “In Life”

There’s a point in many relationships where people start to feel uneasy.

The intensity has softened.
The pull isn’t there in the same way.

And the question comes up:

Have I fallen out of love?

But often, what’s actually happening is something very different.

You’re no longer just in love…
you’re now in life together.

And “in life” is not built on feeling.

It’s built on how you show up.

Love, over time, deepens into things that don’t always feel exciting, but are far more real.

It becomes:

Loyalty ...
Staying true to the relationship, especially when it would be easier to disconnect

Responsibility ...
Taking ownership of your part in the relationship and the life you are building

Reliability ...
Being someone the other person can count on, not just when it suits you

Respect ...
Speaking and acting in ways that protect the dignity of the other person

Acts of service ...
Doing the everyday things that support and care for each other

Sacrifice ...
Giving something up at times for the sake of the relationship

And also:

Commitment ...
Choosing the relationship, not just feeling it

Follow-through ...
Doing what you say you will do

Emotional regulation ...
Not letting every feeling dictate your actions

Repair ...
Coming back and working through disconnection

Accountability ...
Owning your behaviour when things go wrong

Consideration ...
Holding the other person in mind when making decisions

Dependability ...
Being someone who can be leaned on in pressure, not just in ease

Patience ...
Staying present through repetitive or frustrating patterns

Endurance ...
Remaining through seasons that feel stretched or flat

Shared burden ...
Carrying life together, not leaving one person to hold it all

Forgiveness ...
Letting go of score-keeping and moving forward

Honesty ...
Being real, even when it’s uncomfortable

Boundaries ...
Maintaining a clear sense of self within the relationship

Presence ...
Being there in a real and engaged way

Effort ...
Continuing to invest over time

Adaptability ...
Adjusting as life changes, rather than expecting things to stay the same

This is what love grows into.

And this is why it can feel confusing.

Because these things don’t always feel like being in love.

They don’t come with the same intensity.
They don’t create the same emotional high.

But they are what sustains a relationship.

This is where love is tested.
This is where it is built.

It’s in:

Staying when things are hard.

Working through differences instead of avoiding them.

Having hard conversations.

Repairing after disconnection.

Continuing to show up on ordinary days.

The early stage of being in love doesn’t require much of you.

Being in life together does.

It asks for something deeper.

Not just:

How do I feel?

But:

How do I show up?

Because real love is not just something you fall into.
It is something you live out.

And this is the shift people don’t expect
that love doesn’t disappear.

It deepens,
as you move from in love
to in life together.

27/01/2026

Although the research base is still emerging, existing literature does indicate that device use immediately before, during and after therapy can significantly reduce emotional regulation, attention, and integration. In a professional training I am currently undertaking, focused specifically on a somatic, body-based therapeutic model for children, my lecturer has shared a consistent clinical observation: when children engage with screens immediately before, during and after sessions, therapeutic uptake and integration may fall to 90% less than what is typically seen in children who arrive, participate and leave sessions without any screen exposure. While this figure is anecdotal rather than derived from formal trials, it reflects a growing body of clinical research and understanding about the impact of screens on nervous system readiness, therapeutic capacity and presence, and embodied processing.

In light of this, and with a genuine desire to protect the quality, depth, and effectiveness of therapy offered through this practice, I will be introducing a no-device policy for children on the premises, alongside limited device use for adults, from March 2026.

The only exceptions to this policy will be for devices required for clients participating in the Safe and Sound Protocol, or for brief therapeutic use - such as taking progress photos of sandtray work.

This commencement timeframe is intended to give current clients adequate opportunity to review the policy, prepare for the changes, and adjust in a considered way, while also ensuring that new clients are informed of the conditions that best support therapy to be beneficial, embodied, and fully integrated.

02/01/2026

Sounding Board Saturday

Each Saturday I’ll share a question or theme that reflects something I see come up often in my professional work with families. Sometimes it will come from conversations I’ve had during the week, sometimes from patterns I notice online, and sometimes from questions parents are quietly holding but not always voicing.

This isn’t about advice, debate, or telling anyone what to do. It’s a space for thoughtful reflection and gentle perspective, offered as a sounding board rather than a solution. Even when no one comments, I’ll respond to the theme itself, as these questions often sit with many families at once.

Today's question:

We are noticing an increase in challenging behaviour from our four year old, including swearing, hitting, and not listening. My partner and I are responding differently. One of us leans toward emotional support and understanding, while the other believes firmer consequences such as time out are needed. This difference is creating conflict in our relationship and in our parenting, and we are seeking information about the most helpful way to approach this.

The Baby Calmer's Response:

From what I’ve noticed in my professional work, behaviour like swearing, hitting, and not listening is usually a sign that a child is overwhelmed rather than being deliberately “naughty”. And at age four, children still need to borrow our nervous system to regulate, as they don’t yet have the capacity to regulate themselves when big feelings hit.

Research informs us that time out does not actually support nervous system regulation or teach a child what to do instead. It might stop behaviour in the moment, but often all it really teaches is isolation. When things are too much, the child is sent away because others cannot cope with them or be with them. The message can quietly become, when I am overwhelmed, I am on my own. For me, that does not teach regulation or skills, and it does not help a child learn how to regulate themselves or understand what is going on inside them.

I also think it is worth naming that parents usually respond in the way that matches their own capacity in that moment and in the way that feels safest for them. We all parent through our own nervous systems, histories, and triggers, whether we realise it or not.
Sometimes approaches like time out are not about punishment so much as a parent needing distance because they are overwhelmed, or because closeness in big emotional moments was not safe or modelled for them growing up.

Alongside this, I often notice in my professional work that children show us what is happening in the family or relational field through their behaviour. So much of what comes out as swearing, hitting, or not listening can be an expression of tension, stress, disconnection, or misattunement in the relationships around them, rather than something that sits solely within the child. Children are incredibly sensitive to what is happening between the adults who care for them, even when nothing is said out loud.

When behaviour is understood in this way, the question can gently shift from “how do we stop this?” to “what might this child be responding to or carrying for the family right now?”. That perspective has often felt far more useful to me than focusing only on consequences or correction, not as a matter of blame, but as an invitation to notice what might be asking for attention when it feels possible to look a little deeper.

That is why I lean more toward a time in approach. This involves staying close, supporting co-regulation, and once emotional space is available, naming what is happening, for example “you are really angry right now”, holding the boundary clearly, such as “I will not let you hit”, and helping children regulate first. That does not mean no boundaries or no natural consequences. The boundary still stands and it is held with connection rather than separation.

In my professional experience, real change comes from helping children regulate their bodies first, then talking things through and practising better ways once everyone is regulated. It is slower, and it does not always look effective straight away, but it seems to build something deeper over time.

03/12/2025

I Can Stay With You
A Somatic Promise

I can stay with you when pressure gathers,
when the eyes blink fast, searching for land.
You don’t have to clutch yourself shut to cope —
I will hold the ground while your body speaks.

You can stay in you when waves get tall,
when sensation rises like unexpected weather.
You don’t have to flee into silence to survive —
you can feel it, finish it, remain your own shape.

No forcing, no fixing, no fear of feeling too much,
just gentle contact and a steady breath companioning yours,
micro-moments, truth without alarm —
presence deeper than commentary.

Brace, release, swallow, soften —
the body knows the path through.
And when you emerge on the other side,
it will still be you stepping forward, not the storm.

So remember this, soft as lullaby, strong as roots:

I can stay with you.
You can stay in you.
And together we let the wave finish,
and the quiet take its rightful seat.

02/12/2025

🌩️ The Awareness Wheel: a 60-second reset when you’re dysregulated

Have you ever been so emotionally flooded that the words left your mouth before your brain even caught up? Same 😄

That exact moment — when the nervous system hijacks the steering wheel — is where the Awareness Wheel shines.

This tool comes from the now out-of-print book Straight Talk by Sherod Miller and it’s one of the clearest inner maps for relationship and communication awareness I’ve ever used in practice.

🚩 It doesn’t fix the other person — it resets YOU first.
It creates a pause between reacting and responding so connection is still possible, even mid-storm.

Here’s how to run the wheel inside your own mind when dysregulated:

1. Sensory Data — what did I actually notice? 👀👂

Tone of voice, facial expression, crossed arms, environment, heartbeat, breath, heat in your face, tension rising in your body.
(No meaning yet — just raw data.)

2. Thoughts & Interpretations — what story is my mind spinning right now? 💭

“They’re attacking me.” “I’ll never get this right.” “I need to defend myself or I’ll collapse.”
(It’s not truth — it’s stress talking. Just notice it.)

3. Feelings — what emotion is here and where do I feel it in my body? ❤️‍🔥

Hurt in the chest. Anger in the jaw. Fear in the belly. Tears burning behind the eyes. Breath gone small and shallow.
(Name it without judging it.)

4. Wants & Needs — what do I really need or want underneath this reactivity? 🌿

To be heard, safe, understood, connected, or to slow down and repair instead of exploding or withdrawing.

5. Action — what is one small, grounded, owned step I can take from here? 🧭

A long exhale. A hand over your sternum. A pause. A boundary. Or a calm, owned “I” statement that tells your truth without blame.

⚡ Example of the wheel in action:

Your partner says sharply:
“You never listen to me.”

Before reacting, you run the wheel:

Sensory: Voice raised. Brows pinched. Arms crossed. Chest tight. Heart fast.

Thoughts: “I’m being blamed again.”

Feelings: Hurt + fear + anger underneath it.

Want/Need: “I need us to slow this down and stay connected.”

Action: One long exhale, hand on chest, then say:

“I noticed your tone change and my chest tightened.
My mind told me I was being attacked.
I feel hurt and a bit scared, and what I want is to understand you better.
Can we slow this down together?”

No counter-attack. No pretending you’re fine.
Just clarity, ownership, and an invitation to co-regulate.

🧠🌿 Why it works:

Naming brings the thinking brain back online

Sensory anchors settle the body

Owning wants reconnects intention

Small actions interrupt survival reactivity

Blame dissolves, connection stays possible
(Clarity > chaos. Response > reaction.)

You’re allowed to admit you’re dysregulated.
You’re also allowed to choose what happens next.

💛 Try this next time the storm hits:
Run the wheel in your mind first.
Speak only if it feels safe.
Take the smallest next step your body and brain can both agree on.

Because real repair starts when someone finally says:
“This is what just happened… inside me.”

16/11/2025

🌿 SELLING FAST ... ONLY A FEW SESSIONS STILL AVAILABLE: NURTURE HER - Black Friday Special - Limited Availability
Weaving together the Therapeutic Art of Somatic Touch Therapy and the Sacred Ritual of Aromatherapy Anointing … 3-Hour Somatic Touch & Aromatherapy Session ...

This 3-hour session offers a quiet, restorative landing place for your nervous system to pause, unwind, and gently find its way back to ease. Delivering a deeply attuned therapeutic experience, crafted to dissolve tension and restore a sense of inner quiet - a nurturing reset to bring you home to yourself again.

If what you need most is to settle into stillness and be exquisitely held and supported, this session will gently invite your nervous system into profound rest and nurtured restoration.

🌿 Session Intention

During your 3-hour session, you’ll be welcomed into a quiet, restful space and guided through a series of deeply therapeutic experiences - curated with your individual nervous system needs in mind.

We begin with a personalised Aromatherapy Anointing Ritual, placing supportive oils where your body is most longing for nourishment.

This is followed by an unhurried Somatic Touch Therapy session, offering attuned contact to ease tension, soften overwhelm, and support your nervous system toward restoring regulation. This may include nurturing support through the head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, diaphragm, sacrum, kidneys/adrenals, limbs, feet - or wherever your body is calling for supportive and attuned presence.

We finish with a soft integrative rest, allowing your body to digest, deepen, and settle into the shift - leaving you grounded, quieter inside, and more connected to yourself.

💰 Black Friday Pricing — Save $70

✨ Weekday sessions:
$330 → $260

✨ Saturday sessions:
$370 → $300

A rare opportunity to receive a 3-hour therapeutic session at a significantly reduced rate at the end of the year.

If your private health insurance includes counselling, you may be able to claim the counselling component of this session with your provider.

📍 Location

Sessions are held in my private therapy rooms in Sadliers Crossing, Ipswich, QLD. As this is a private, home-based practice, the full practice address is provided upon confirmation of your booking with the receipt of your non-refundable prepayment.

Availability:

Saturday 29 November
🕗 8:00am – 11:00am — $300 SOLD
🕚 11:30am – 2:30pm — $300 SOLD
🕒 3:00pm – 6:00pm — $300 SOLD

Saturday 6 December
🕗 8:00am – 11:00am — $300 SOLD
🕚 11:30am – 2:30pm — $300 SOLD
🕒 3:00pm – 6:00pm — $300 SOLD

Monday 8 December
🕗 8:00am – 11:00am — $260
🕚 11:30am – 2:30pm — $260
🕚 3:00pm – 6:00pm — $260 SOLD

Monday 15 December
🕗 8:00am – 11:00am — $260 SOLD
🕚 11:30am – 2:30pm — $260 SOLD
🕒 3:00pm – 6:00pm — $260 SOLD

✨ To book your session

📩 Send a PM
📧 Email: info@thebabycalmer.com.au
📞 Phone/Text: 0420 942 256

11/11/2025

Recoupling a Broken Dynamic:

Usually, I really look forward to sharing news of my latest professional development trainings -
the learnings, the reflections, the professional growth.

But not this time.
This time, I just can’t.

Because this one finally broke me ...

This one destroyed my faith in the myth
that attending trauma trainings automatically means trauma awareness will be present.

This one left me questioning
whether some people even know the difference
between holding power and holding people.

This one was a lesson in trauma itself -
not the kind a textbook could hold,
not the kind written in slides or sealed inside a syllabus.

It was a lesson in how what’s unspoken leaks,
how the repressed still finds its way to the surface,
and how pain denied becomes the teacher no one plans for.

Because when trauma is buried, it never disappears;
it simply behaves in unexpectedly expected ways.

I’ve seen that pattern too many times now not to recognise it.

I’ve been broken at trainings before,
so I do know to expect it -
and what to expect when it happens.

But this time was different.

What happened wasn’t expected... because this time, I did everything right.

I studied the material, built my capacity,
strengthened my regulation.
I came prepared - connected to self,
ready to participate, to learn, to enjoy.

And even in the arriving as my best self,
it still broke me.

Not because I failed,
but because the space did.

A storm filled the practice room,
pulling everything towards its centre.
Its force was excused as protection,
its weight and impact overlooked,
its intensity left unchecked.

Yet my authentic need to step out from its eye -
my effort to stay regulated, to stay true,
to name what was real and how it was impacting me -
was met not with understanding,
but with exile.

Afterwards, the silence roared louder than the storm.
I turned each moment over in my mind,
searching for what I might have done differently -
even though I already knew
there was nothing in me to fix.

The day that followed was heavy with doubt,
the kind that seeps in when truth has been mistaken for trouble.

And once the echoes finally softened,
what remained was the ache -
the ache that only comes ... when the thing you love wounds you.

When the still knowing that I had stayed true
is all that remains, even at the cost of belonging.

When the language of healing is used to disguise judgment,
and the quiet forming of opinions replaces honest dialogue.

When the unhealed wield their power like ransom,
and compliance becomes the price of completion.

When those entrusted to hold the space fairly and gently
turn their backs on the very principles they teach.

When truth-telling is mistaken for threat,
and composure is prized above courage.

When distance is favoured over understanding,
and exclusion is chosen over repair.

It takes time to find one’s ground again,
and a little longer to reclaim one’s voice.

But if there’s grace to be found in this experience, it’s this -

I now know, beyond doubt,
for when it is my time to lead.

I shall remember what it felt like to be dismissed,
so that listening and presence will answer where silence once stood.

I shall remember how avoidance deepens harm,
so that repair will always be met with courage.

I shall remember how silence can injure,
so that honesty will always have a seat at my table.

Some lessons arrive through beauty.
Others through betrayal.

Both still teach -
but only one will shape me.

And when I step forward again,
it will be with soil under my feet, voice steady, hands open,
building the kind of ground I once longed to stand on.

For others like me,
who have known what it is to be undone in the name of healing,
may this new ground be steady beneath them -
gentle, honest, unafraid -
so they, too, can learn to trust the earth again.

For others like me,
who will walk through the shadow side of healing,
may this ground remember our footsteps,
and whisper to all those who follow:

you can stand here too...
you are safe.

07/11/2025

29/10/2025

🌸 Supporting Client Authorship During Somatic Touch Work

In somatic touch sessions, it can be so tempting to jump in and name what we think we see.

Today, I almost did. I noticed something in my client’s gesture that I thought I understood — and I caught myself just in time.

Instead of naming it, I asked them what it meant.
That pause changed everything.

When we hold back from interpreting too soon, we allow our clients to stay in authorship of their own experience.

It captures that quiet shift from being the subject of treatment to being the author of one’s own healing narrative.

In somatic touch work, that’s everything — the moment the client’s gestures, sensations, and meanings begin to lead rather than be interpreted for them.

When we stay curious instead of naming too soon, we’re essentially saying:

“Your body knows, and I trust it enough to let it speak first.”

That’s the deepest form of respect in this kind of therapy — it restores agency, voice, and relational safety all at once.

It’s also what distinguishes truly attuned somatic touch work: language that bridges clinical precision with poetic witnessing.

When we don’t rush to define, but instead listen for authorship, we help our clients find meaning in their own body’s timing and truth.

It’s in those quiet moments — where we wait, witness, and wonder — that healing finds its own words. 💛

21/10/2025

Meeting Our History

The body remembers
in whispers and tremors—
not as words,
but as warmth behind the ribs,
a tightening at the throat,
a sudden flood of heat.

We meet our history
not through thought
but through the pulse
of what still moves.

Stay.
Don’t rush the unwinding.
The story isn’t only pain—
it’s the map of what you endured,
the artistry of your surviving,
the small fires you kept lit
when everything went dark.

Breathe where it aches.
Notice the places that brace,
the ones that still guard
what they were never meant to hold.
They’re not wrong.
They’re just waiting
for the weight to be witnessed.

You don’t have to fix it—
only feel it.
Presence is the balm.
Your gentle staying
is the hand that time forgot to give you.

Here, in the trembling,
history finds its completion—
not in forgetting,
but in being met
with a breath
that finally stays.

16/09/2025

12/08/2025

The Outcast’s Anointing: Learning the Language of the Left Behind When Rejection Is Your Assignment

There is a strange and painful paradox in God’s calling: the very people He sends to bring comfort to the rejected often must walk the lonely road of rejection themselves. This is the Outcast’s Anointing - a consecration not marked by applause, but by absence. It is not punishment. It is preparation.

When rejection is your assignment, you can’t carry the heart of the unwanted without knowing its weight yourself. To compassionately hold the hearts of the ones the world has discarded, you must know the landscape of loneliness. You must feel, not just in your mind but in your bones, what it’s like to be overlooked, unchosen, misjudged, or excluded. Without that knowing, your compassion risks being shallow. Without that ache, your arms may not open as wide. God allows you to live in this ache so that you can recognise it instantly in another. You are being taught the language of the left behind - a language you can’t learn in books, only in the school of lived wounding.

Sometimes this is why the door shuts without explanation.
Sometimes this is why the circle you served in turns away.
Sometimes this is why your loyalty is met with transactional convenience.

It is the refining work of God, not because He delights in your pain, but because He entrusts you with the hearts of those who have felt the same.

The Biblical Pattern of the Outcast’s Anointing

Scripture is full of leaders and healers whose first training ground felt like isolation and loss:

• Joseph was rejected by his brothers, thrown into a pit, and sold into slavery - yet he became the one to save them from famine (Genesis 37–45).
• Moses fled Egypt as a wanted man before God sent him back to free his people (Exodus 2–3).
• David was left in the fields when Samuel came to anoint a king - unseen even in his own family - yet became the shepherd-king (1 Samuel 16).

And then, the truest example: Jesus.
He was “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). The One sent to gather all into the Father’s house was Himself cast out of the synagogue, mocked by leaders, abandoned by friends, and crucified outside the city gates - the ultimate sign of exclusion in His time (Hebrews 13:12–13).

If you are called to walk in His footsteps, you may sample some of that same aloneness.

Jesus and the Ministry of the Margins

When we look at Jesus’ life, we see Him continually crossing boundaries to be with the outcast:

• Touching lepers (Mark 1:40–45)
• Sitting with tax collectors (Matthew 9:10–13)
• Speaking to the Samaritan woman (John 4)
• Defending the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11)

Jesus didn’t just visit the margins - He lived there.
And He knows that those who will continue His work must carry the same tenderness that comes from knowing what it feels like to be “outside.”

Your rejection is not proof of God’s absence - it is evidence of His shaping. He is training your eyes to notice the ones on the edge, training your heart to remain soft when others turn cold, training your hands to offer more than words - to offer presence.

When the Feeling of Being Unwanted Is the Anointing in Disguise

It is easy to think, “If I am called to gather the outcast, shouldn’t I feel included myself?” But perhaps this is where the mystery of the kingdom lies.

In God’s economy, the crown often comes after the wilderness. The authority to welcome others comes after you’ve been left outside the gate.

Being made to feel like an outcast:

• Strips away the illusion that worth comes from belonging to the right group.
• Teaches you that dignity is not given by people - it is given by God.
• Anchors your identity so deeply in Christ that you can stand alone if you must.

And here’s the part that makes the enemy furious:
When you carry the compassion of the outcast into the ministry God has given you, you don’t just gather them - you anoint and heal them.

Learning the Language of the Left Behind

The left behind do not need platitudes.
They do not need polished speeches.
They need someone who can look into their eyes and say, I have been there too.

This is why the language of the left behind is not words alone - it is presence, tone, and the kind of compassion that has walked through the same valley. And you cannot fake it. The only way to learn it is to live it.

Holding the Heart of Jesus in the Face of Rejection

Jesus did not retaliate against those who excluded Him.
He did not allow the betrayal of Judas or the denial of Peter to make Him bitter.
He held steady in the love of the Father, knowing that His acceptance was already secured in heaven.

So when you are excluded:

• Return to the Father’s voice - “You are my beloved” (Mark 1:11).
• Resist the urge to harden - the enemy would love to turn your hurt into cynicism.
• Remember the assignment - you are not here to prove your worth to the group that turned away; you are here to gather those who’ve been turned away by many groups before.

Reflection Questions

• Where have I felt most unseen or excluded, and how might God be using that to prepare me for ministry?
• How can I respond to rejection in a way that reflects Jesus’ heart rather than my hurt?
• Who in my current sphere is sitting on the “outside” that I could invite in or encourage today?
• What wounds, false beliefs, or self-protective labels have taken root in me because of past rejection, and how can I gently release them and receive God’s truth about who I am?
• When have I seen Jesus use my own wounds to bring comfort or understanding to someone else?
• What practical steps can I take to keep my heart soft instead of guarded after being hurt?
• How can I create spaces - in my home, work, or ministry - where the ‘left behind’ feel seen and valued?

Closing Prayer

Lord, when rejection is my assignment, help me to receive it as the Outcast’s Anointing - not as a wound that withers me, but as a preparation that equips me to speak the language of the left behind. Keep my heart tender, my spirit steadfast, and my eyes open to the ones You have called me to gather. Let me walk in the footsteps of Jesus, who knew the pain of exclusion yet kept His arms open wide. Amen.