Katrina Alilovic - Counselling Psychologist

30/01/2023

10/11/2022

ADHD - I've been hearing versions of this lately. And it's a problem.

It means you're relating to some new information, processing it and feeling it makes sense and begins to provide you a previously unknown framework to help understand yourself. However, the judgement from others and the risk that you will be ridiculed, shut down or shamed for beginning to explore a topic, a deeply personal topic and, possibly, finding your place. That you might begin to feel the beginings of relief and dare to consider that this might be a piece of the puzzle in terms of self-understanding and even self-acceptance only to quickly shut down to avoid the negative scrutiny is heart-breaking. Keep going, seek out those who support and validate you. Be curious about yourself.

Text: Words on a teal blue square "Learning about ADHD, feeling like it makes sense and explains a lot, but drop it because you worry that you're just "attention seeking"

07/11/2022

Beautifully said…

The word resilience gets a bad rap because we are TIRED AF of pushing through, surviving, and being strong. But the ability to push through difficulties is not actually resilience. That ability you have to make it through and keep going is perseverance, endurance, persistence, determination, grit, stamina, etc. And it is definitely a superpower! But it's a superpower that requires support, refueling, and (let's face it) a drastic change in our society's structures if they are going to be sustainable. Afterall, we do want to. be able to push through and do those hard things that are driven by passion, but we're tired of having to push through out of necessity.

Resilience is something else. Resilience is our nervous system's ability to recover from difficulties. And it's not something we choose, just like we don't choose our survival response when we're being chased by a bear and our body takes off running or collapses.

Yes, there are things we can do to nurture a more resilient nervous system in ourselves and children and friends: connect with others, be with others who love and support you for who you are without trying to change you, receive support and love from your community, fold nervous system support practices into your daily life, such as breath work, meditation, HearthMath, Safe Sound Protocol, Apollo Neuro, singing, humming, chanting, playing a wind instrument, drumming, and so much more!

Having low resilience is no one's fault. And we don't nurture RESILIENCE in children or anyone else by forcing them to be grateful, rejecting their emotional responses to experiences, or telling them to "look on the bright side."

Building and nurturing true resilience is about connecting and belonging with others, allowing our full range of emotions to be seen and heard and valued, and creating self-sustaining practices that feel good.

Let's change the narrative. We are TIRED of pushing through and making it work. Let's nurture resilience instead.

06/11/2022

Here's a link to an engaging and informative panel interview discussing ADHD, including a psychiatrist and two people who have been diagnosed with ADHD

Australia only recently implemented guidelines around the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD.

27/08/2022

Day 24 Self-Compassion Nudge

12/08/2022

Day 23 - Self-Compassion Nudge

Self Compassion Phrases

In some self-compassion exercises you will be asked to think about and say phrases you wish to soothe yourself with
when you experience some difficulty.

Remember to stay on the wishing side of the equation, rather than the outcome side, as the purpose of the exercise is to cultivate kindness, regardless of what the outcome is. You may find you feel good feelings as a result of the exercise but the main focus is kindness.

The “may I” format can be a powerful way of giving yourself permission to send and accept goodwill, but if that doesn't sit right with you, try other phrases.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear in
this moment?” For example, you could try saying to yourself: “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough” or “It’s understandable that I feel this way.” Other useful phrases are “I know I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way” or “I deserve kindness, just like everyone else”.

Try out different phrases until you find three or four that resonate with you.
Once you settle on your phrases, use them whenever you practice self-compassion.
The more you practice, the easier it will become to express compassion toward yourself and others.

May I accept myself as I am
May I find peace in my heart
May I be safe May I be free from fear
May I be healthy
May I accept the circumstances of my life
May I have contentment
May I remember that we are all human
May I believe in myself
May I know that others struggle along with me
May I be free from shame
May we learn to live together in peace
May I be kind to myself, unconditionally
May I give myself the compassion I need
May I be free from harm
May I have peace of mind
May I be happy and free from suffering
May I care for myself
May I be free from suffering
May I cherish myself
May I have courage
May I accept myself completely, just as I am

My phrases:
_____________________________________ _____________________________________
_____________________________________ _____________________________________

You can practice repeating your phrases with eyes closed or eyes open, for just a few seconds in
the middle of a difficult situation or for longer.

See what works for you. Often.

03/08/2022

Day 22 Self-Compassion Nudge

Block No. 3 - Compassion is unfamiliar to me &
Block No. 4 - Compassion triggers difficult feelings in me

02/08/2022

Day 21 Self-Compassion Nudge

Objection 2
"I don't deserve compassion"

01/08/2022

Day 20 Self-Compassion Nudge

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day.
A string of such moments can change the course of your life.”
-Chris Germer, Ph.D.

Objections to practising self-compassion:

1. Compassion is a weakness or indulgence

28/07/2022

Day 19 Self-Compassion Nudge

Kindness it all it takes

27/07/2022

Day 18 Self-Compassion Nudge

Getting back into something after a break...

16/07/2022

The more stressed you are the more you have to divide the world in to simple terms to cope.

12/07/2022

A little break in the Self-Compassion Nudge is needed as I'm not feeling well. Practice, practice, practice.
See you soon.

09/07/2022

Day 16 Self Compassion Nudge

05/07/2022

Self-compassion Nudge

Any day is a good day for a bit of self-kindness. I’m taking a break from FB lives for a few days but will be back on track this coming Friday 8 July.

01/07/2022

Day 15 Self Compassion Nudge

Nourish Your Body

30/06/2022

Day 14 The Self-Compassion Nudge

What is your body telling you?

29/06/2022

Day 13 The Self-Compassion Nudge

The Self-Compassion Dodge