07/10/2019
THE SOURCERESS AND THE STORY TELLER
Full Moon Magic
Sitting on the perfectly round concrete water tank l held my heart in my hand, a reflective red heart that had been gifted to me by a colourful pseudo wizard two hours north west of here. He would climb trees to add these reflective hearts beside well worn roads so by night love would be re-collected by the fading traveller. He also sprayed vibrant rainbow like colours around pot holes in the road, another reflector but with inherent warning attached. I had kept this reflective heart all this time in the pot plant soil at my front door, thus reflecting my neophyte feng shui approach inside my space.
After ceremoniously opening my energy field to Grandmother Moon l blew my wish for the one who has the key to my heart to find me. I swooned in her pregnant aura and blew the wish towards her fullness. Rain spirits, please pour down upon us here. Invoking the Great Heyoka Thunder beings l crave the sound of your voices tonight. I sat briefly on the cold concrete of said mandala and decided to shuffle inside to my awaiting bed. Wrapped contentedly within l spoke to the Great Divine but not for long. Less me more Thunder.
And then she came. Rain pouring, those initial drops that pelted were singularly audible in the wet symphony. Harder, faster, thicker currents filled my being as they landed on thirsty soil outside. As l drifted off peacefully and gloriously rejoiced in a spiritual sense, l celebrated Grandmother Moon’s birthing, my own present re-birthing, the wonderment of the Great Heyoka and the Water Spirits. Pilamaye, thank you, Water is life.
Shortened chapters of sleep lifted and lowered, l perceived my own rhapsody of un-sub-con glimpses, as if in linear-non-linear eye lash motility. Nonetheless l could begin to hear my spirit merging with Grandmother Moon’s yonder talking stick and in wisdom in the form of practical answers that called me. I paid heed as l cusped the softness of my own body. Ideas that were given to me during the day, and days before, floated in, announcing their more amplified and electrical presence. Such lucidity streamed my consciousness. Now l could better move and augment my own energetic pregnancy.
Was l in rested wakefulness or wakeful rested-ness? Between the veils of lucidity l wandered. Thus between spurts of deeper rest, l was further captured by a veil of darkness that filled my bedroom. Slightly taken aback was l? Too here now and immediate to make decisions requiring a brainy strain, this shade of ‘light’ was followed by a voice that motioned me to close my eyes and this l did in faithful receptivity. I found myself inside a wolf cave where a baby wolf seemed alone, an ever so soft furry pup, or cub. It was cold, perhaps frozen, of that l am still pondering. I exhaled the deepest warmth of my breathe and intention into the cub and kept said breathe close to its tiny being. Warm! l reminded myself, not just any old breathe. As l did this l saw Mother Wolf in my telepathic viewpoint, she was out hunting providing food for her cub.
And then l became aware of a new ritual l had just commenced only a few days ago. l had howled like a wolf inside my home, l had also howled at the moon last night upon my moon bathing. When l howled inside my home shortly thereafter l heard very what seemed like weighted feet moving, stomping across the roof outside. FE FI FO FUM, it stopped me in my tracks from the kitchen activity l was engaged with. What animal presence is that - I questioned immediately? Alas, and in answer to my request for feedback, it made it’s presence very clear to me by hawking and screeching overtly in answer.
The largest and meatiest crow l think l have ever had the pleasure of seeing (raven in Native American Medicine) perched itself and leaned down to get a view of me as l moved agilely past a room divider towards my front all glassed door. There she was grabbing a visibly and well-intentioned look to source the origins of my howling. It is worth mentioning at this point that the Raven, or Crow, travels with the wolf and flies ahead to source food for the wolf. She has not only the gift of flight but of inherent sight of the greater animal and natural kingdom. In a sense it is like how the King surveys his Kingdom, as any Shaman will also seek to do for their own purposes. Now wolf, or wolves, reciprocate by sharing this abundance with the crow. Now this was deeper symbolism and meaning to my heart as Wolf Medicine is very much favoured by me.
A recent manifestation and honouring of that if you like, is the huge weighty Labradorite Wolf head l wear around my neck and take to bed with me. The Wolf in me is currently lone, but l do no longer sleep alone. I cherish my connection to animal spirit medicine and to be invited into the cave, or called in, is a great privilege of deeper trust and honour, Where was l in this world, where might this cave have been? This specific doesn’t have relevance for me, what does have relevance is that l was able to be of service whilst relishing the experience. In the night somewhere out there a Wolf has whispered and l have taken the call. Is anything more precious in that moment? No.
Later moments mattered. I found myself consciously and gently energised through the cracks and crevasses of sleep, l called out to Caressa the Goddess of ……………. l can’t recall the prayer details. I arose with this strong urge to go back to Grandmother Moon and bath in her glory as there was still a window of time to be present to her once again. I took my cup of yerba matte tea and small stool so l could lift myself above cold dampened concrete mandala and sit with her without distraction. My soft grey hooded poncho felt luxurious through the mildness that filled the air. The sky above looked so moody, brooding, darkness and pockets of great light as Grandmother Moon was in full gear. The star closest to her liquid body was very comforting to me, very present and it’s shaping was Merkaba-ish like in its stature. I felt this wave of l am exactly where l am supposed to be, a feeling infused thought of everything is okay despite…and l didn’t allow myself to finish that sentence, alas it was, for now.
Then to my absolute astonishment and delight a star started moving before my eyes, l expanded my focus to incorporate more select stars; then all the stars to find that all of them were moving in sync in the same direction right before my eyes. I myself became starry and watery as l recognised that the vision of the child’s head that was being given to me from the Cosmos was my very own inner child, At first it was the back of a small child’s head, as l initially questioned why a head should be given my attention. A second thought said, allow this to emerge some more so l did. As l allowed Grandmother Moon and the Stars to speak to me l saw my innocence reflecting back at me. It was my lost innocence that had been snatched and at that tender age was already stolen. Stolen is a hard word for the tongue however what it signifies here is that the role and head of the child changed at that time. It makes complete sense to me now as l write these words because as soon as l had sight of the head l inwardly hated it. How bizarre l thought, it had repulsed me, but l kept playing along in my attention. I wept aloud in the sacredness and sanctity of this moment. I still wonder if anyone has seen the stars all dancing in sync across the sky together like this. Many Medicine People have seen many things no doubt.
But there was more marrow for me in this ceremony. Grandmother Moon was descending, her auric star friend was descending and l remained front row seat watching and listening. I could feel my renewed innocence and wonder of the Universe out there and just as central my own inner Unique Verses. How could l have waited so long for this immeasurable cosmic immersion? As the shadows moved l noticed even more nuances and moonshine metaphors. If l was attached to the tip of that tree, or an erect or drooping vine up so high l could touch her, Grandmother. I could reach for the moon and l could do so with a starling success. I didn’t wish to choose between reaching for the moon and reaching for the stars but it alerted me to some greater feelings l had nonetheless. And then as Grandmother Moon lowered her presence to earth bound, the full tree body was in her illumine. I can do it, l am doing it, as l placed myself there with, in that tree. I didn’t wish for the light of the day to surface as this was such a magical and soulful time for me. I was filled up, uplifted spiritually, emotionally, all bodies, in all the right ways. I am still in a particular mesmerised state and daylight has well and truly found it’s way back.
Catarina Nada ~
