http://www.raisingresilience.com.au/

Raising Resilience, Newcastle (2025)

04/12/2021

For the last post in our series on the 2017 report called ‘Building Resilience in Children Aged 0-12: A Practice Guide’, let’s address the very Australian concept of ‘having a go’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We want to encourage our kids to give new experiences a try and have age appropriate risk-taking and experimentation. This leads not only to some pretty great opportunities for fun, but it also allows our kids to understand that they can cope with challenges and that they have the problem solving skills they might needs to make it through difficulties. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Alongside this idea, it is important that we continue to listen to our kids when they express worries, and continue to encourage help-seeking - that way, they can see that you are their safe haven, so that they can continue to explore their world. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I hope you’ve been able to take something from this series of posts!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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29/11/2021

For the next post in our series on the 2017 report called ‘Building Resilience in Children Aged 0-12: A Practice Guide’, let’s chat about talking with our kids openly.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This part of the toolkit says that ‘your child is more likely to feel positive if they can see that difficult times are part of time, that they’ll pass, and that things will get better’. Some ideas include:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ Talk about times to you, or another member of your family have gone through difficult times⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Talk about a famous person and the challenges that they might have faced⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Use role-plays and have discussions to practice how to handle challenging situations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Have positive conversations with you kids e.g. ‘what was the best thing about today’ or ‘what was something that didn’t go well and how did you cope?'⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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26/11/2021

I found this great little kit at my local . You know that I’m a big advocate for helping out kids to understand their feelings, and this little kit is an awesome little resource for parents and carers of little ones. The thing I love most is that it includes strategies that kids can use to manage big feelings - so it is more than the identification of emotions, the resource helps them in their journey towards self regulation. This is definitely something you could use with your kids - you could do the little activities together to show your kids that you can be with them in all of their feelings!

24/11/2021

For the next post in our series on the 2017 report called ‘Building Resilience in Children Aged 0-12: A Practice Guide’, let’s talk about role-modelling. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Let’s just put it out there - role-modelling can be challenging. None of us can expect to get it right all of the time, because we are human! But, if we can aim to role-model positive emotional and social skills and strategies, it can show our kids how they can navigate challenges, problems and conflicts in a positive way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Model calm and rational problem solving with the adults in your life (if you need to take a few minutes to regulate your own emotions, then that is a very positive step to take). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Model positive self-talk when facing your own challenges. For example ‘this is hard, but I’ve coped with hard things before and I have people supporting me’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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11/11/2021

For the next post in our series on the 2017 report called ‘Building Resilience in Children Aged 0-12: A Practice Guide’, let’s talk about supporting our kids through adversity. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The toolkit suggests:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Parents should let their children experience emotions, acknowledge how they feel and support them to put names to those feelings (this is music to my ears!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Take the time to listen to your kids when they are talking about their worries. Be present with them when you’re having these chats⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ If your child is dealing with something hard, ask them how they would like you to support them - give them some agency in a situation that might feel out of their control⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨Parents should help their kids to develop ways to deal with challenge (e.g. encourage and role-model help-seeking) and encourage your kids to develop their own strategies in challenging situations (allow them to see that they can cope and they can problem solve - they will know that you are there to support them if they need it)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Allow your child to experience failure, and then help them to put that failure into perspective⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨Help your child develop positive self-talk. If you are noticing your kid talking negatively about themselves, help them to re-frame. For example, if you hear your kid say ‘I’m going to look stupid when I do public speaking in front of the class’, help them to re-frame into something more helpful (and less judgey) like ‘public speaking isn’t my favourite thing to do, but I’ll try my best and I’ll cope with it’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/11/2021

Part of my aim with .au is to break down reports and articles into bite size pieces for parents. In 2017, released a report called ‘Building Resilience in Children Aged 0-12: A Practice Guide’. This report contains some amazing strategies for parents and carers (as well as professionals who support young people and families) to support the development of their children’s resilience, but it is a little bit hefty.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, I’m going to do a series of posts over the next fortnight to break down the toolkit for families that is included in the report. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Firstly, the toolkit absolutely confirms what we know, that parents play a significant role in building their children’s resilience skills. The toolkit says that ‘parents can build resilience by providing opportunities for children to develop the skills, habits and attitudes that help build resilience. These include:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ coping skills⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ positive thinking⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ self-confidence'⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What are your strategies to developing these skills in your children? Let me know with a comment below!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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15/10/2021

Peers play an important role in supporting our children’s social and emotional wellbeing, especially as they move towards adolescence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Some kids can make friends really easily, but for others it takes a bit more time. Either way, you can play a key role in helping your child to develop the social skills that can help them to develop lasting friendships:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Take the time to watch your child to understand how they socialise with others - figuring out where their strengths and weaknesses are is a great way to figure out how you can support your kid with their unique needs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Model positive social behaviour including joining with others, positive conflict resolution and problem solving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Role-play at home - if your kid has challenges with starting conversations with others, help them out by practicing at home. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Praise their success - celebrate their wins, whether they are small or large⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Depending on the age of your child, set up a play-date, sign your kid up for team-based activity and invite the team over. Look for opportunities to support your child’s socialisation with other kids. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Don’t avoid social situations - your child can’t improve their skills if you (and they) ignore the challenges they are having. Try a gradual approach that encourages your child to slightly step out of their comfort zone each time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Don’t compare your kid to you or to others (including their siblings). Your child is an individual, not a copy of you or their brothers/sisters. We all have our own strengths and challenges. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Reference: Cleveland Clinic (2021) Ways to help your child make friends in school. Accessed from ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ways-help-child-make-friends-school/

11/10/2021

This quote spoke to me - it speaks of grief in a way that we can understand. Metaphors can be powerful in helping children and young people to understand their grief experience. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Grief and change are inevitable and challenging parts of life, and supporting our children through changes and loss is an important part of your parenting journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Change can look like all sorts of different things - death of a loved one, moving house, change of school, parental separation, loss of peer group friendships and COVID lockdown to name a few. Dealing with change and loss is hard, but with support our kids can navigate it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Some helpful strategies that you can use to support your child through change are:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨When possible, prepare your child for the change that is coming up (this isn’t always possible, some changes in our life are unexpected, which can make them all the more challenging)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Try to keep other routines going - while some things are changing in their life, it is helpful for other things to be predictable⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Change can bring about big feelings in all of us. Take the time to talk about the impact of the change - help them name some of the feelings they are having and name your own feelings too. Show them that you are in the boat with them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Practice gratitude - after some time has passed, help them see some positives that have come with the change. This might be that they made new friends, learned new ways to cope with challenges, or it might be that they have wonderful memories of their loved one to remember them by.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ If you’re dealing with grief while trying to support your child through theirs, get some extra support. Grief can cloud us, so having someone to talk to about your own experience can help you see things clearer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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04/10/2021

I had the chance to record an episode with Jade and Eliza from .thepodcast. It was a great chat about raising resilient kids, attachment bonds and challenging social views around parenting. Head on over to wherever you listen to podcasts (Apple podcasts, Spotify etc.) and search for ‘Unlearn Me’ to listen to our chat, plus their other episodes.

01/10/2021

Building self-efficacy, self-regulation and problem solving skills have been found to have a massive impact on resilience in children. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As a parent, ask yourself how you are helping your child to:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ understand that they are capable of accomplishing tasks AKA building their self-efficacy!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ manage their emotions, even in challenging situations (this is an ongoing process, they will likely need your support in some situations - but that is OK!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ problem solve, either on their own (with your support when needed), or with their peers. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It is easy to see that these factors are interrelated. For example, if you can support your child to manage their emotions in a challenging situation, and remind them of the strategies that they used, they can draw on these strategies next time and build their self-efficacy around managing challenges. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If this feels a bit overwhelming for you, just focus on one element, e.g. supporting your child to solve problems - this can be done in a play based setting, or through discussion with pre-teens and teens. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Masten, A (2011) Resilience in children threatened by extreme adversity: Frameworks for research, practice and translational synergy. Development and Psychopathology, 23, 493-506

27/09/2021

While we aim to foster resilience in our children so that they can cope with challenges that life throws at them, it isn’t reasonable to expect that your child can be resilient in the face of all challenges. You might find that your child is able to cope reasonably well with the disappointment of not being picked for a representative sports team, but that they struggle when they experience academic failure. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Take a bit of time to think about your own responses to challenging situations. I’ll bet that there are times when you can deal with problems or hurdles pretty easily and other times when you need the support of those around you to manage. The same applies to our kids. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Building resilience is not a magic pill that will enable them to skate through all the challenges that life presents - but it can help them to problem solve and help-seek when they need it, potentially resulting in better outcomes in the long run. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Source: VicHealth (2015) Current theories relating to resilience and young people: a literature review. Victorian Health Promotion Foundation, Melbourne

21/09/2021

A child's ability to be resilient is complex and influenced by numerous factors that are both internal (their skills and capacity) and external (your parenting behaviours, their relationship with siblings, levels of conflict in the home etc.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There are so many interventions designed to build a kid's resilience that focus on the kid making changes to their behaviours, thoughts and responses to challenge, but our children don't have much (if any) control over their environment, which is why .au exists, to help our children by focusing on us, their parents and carers. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Is there something you can do for your child help build their resilience? Have a flick through my past posts to be brought up to speed on how you can support your kid to build their resilience. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Source: BeyondBlue (2017) Children's Resilience Research Project: Final Report.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

17/09/2021

Are you in lockdown like me? I keep coming back to this saying - 'this too shall pass'. It refers to the temporary nature of things and can be helpful in challenging situations. Lockdown will pass, and we will find a new normal. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How are you coping in lockdown?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

12/09/2021

Myth: being resilient means that you will never experience mental health challenges.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We know that people who experience mental health challenges can be enormously resilient. You as a parent play an enormous role in supporting your child to develop their resilience - which will be helpful in their future when challenges arise. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Building resilience is about you as a parent, working to build the capacities of your child and creating a home environment where they feel safe and secure enough to explore their world, knowing that you will be there to support them when challenges arise. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Source: VicHealth 2015, Interventions to build resilience among young people: a literature review, Victorian Health Promotion Foundation, Melbourne.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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08/09/2021

Welcome! We have a heap of new folks who have joined us in the past few weeks, so I wanted to take the opportunity to re-introduce myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm Jen, and I'm a social worker, based in Newcastle, NSW. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I work with young people and I created .au with the understanding that the resilience of children and young people is drastically influenced by the behaviours and choices of their parents and carers, and by the home environment in which the child or young person lives. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm excited that we have more people who have joined us on this journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

16/07/2021

⚡News Flash⚡Parenting is hard work. It is challenging and sometimes it might feel like the the hard times are never ending. But it is also full of joy and love. Both things are true. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Instead of focusing on our challenges, lets focus on our strengths, our wins, the times that our kids did something that made us proud or made us laugh. Let's celebrate our wins! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Comment below, or send me a DM with your parenting win. Was your kid kind to another person? Did they try their hardest at something and persevere? Where they able (with your support) to adapt to something that was new?

13/07/2021

⚠️ WARNING: This can be harder than it sounds. Be gentle with yourself. Remember, we are aiming to be 'good enough' parents, not perfect parents⚠️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Have you heard about the concept of a 'time in' with your kids? It is pretty much the opposite of a 'time out', where we might expect out kids to spend some time on their own to self-regulate. What we know is that kids learn about emotional regulation through us role-modelling good regulation (whenever possible) and through us being with them through those difficult emotions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The Circle of Security Parenting program states that a 'time in' is an effective discipline strategy, and a good way to set boundaries with our kids, because it helps them to make better choices without making them feel bad. It is a strategy that centre's your relationship with your child. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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A 'time in' is a critical time to use empathy (e.g. "I can see that you are disappointed"), whilst giving your kid space to process their emotions so they are able to reach a point where they can calm and you can speak with them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Next time your kid pushes past a boundary, and they struggle to emotionally self-regulate, or there has been a rupture in your relationship, try using the 'time in' strategy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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10/05/2021

Failure often isn’t acceptable in our culture - we see it as a bad thing, something to avoid. But what if we accepted that through failure, we can grow and learn how to deal with obstacles and challenges?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What if we helped our children to understand that failure is not only acceptable, but an opportunity? What if we discussed our own failures and set-backs with them, in an age-appropriate way, to help them see that we all experience challenges in our lives. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So what can you do?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Next time your kid is struggling with a challenge or failure (even if it perceived failure), talk them through it, or help them access someone who can talk them through it (e.g. youth worker, social worker or counsellor at school).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ Supporting our children’s resilience includes helping children learn how to deal with obstacles, success and failure. Exposing your kid to ‘healthy risks’ and supporting them through those risks, is a great way to start this process. When they do experience success with challenging tasks, you can use this as a reminder next time they are struggling.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Source: Beyond Blue Ltd. (2017) Building Resilience in children aged 0-12: A practice guide.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Raising Resilience