10/11/2025
Socially Appropriate Behaviour: A Universal Learning Journey
In conversations about behaviour support, especially in disability services, the term “socially appropriate behaviour” often comes up. But too often, it’s framed as something only Autistic people or those with developmental disabilities need to learn.
This framing is not only inaccurate, it’s unfair.
The truth is simple: learning socially appropriate behaviour is a fundamental part of development for everyone.
Social Behaviour Is a Shared Expectation
From early childhood, we all begin learning how to behave in ways that help us connect, communicate, and coexist with others. Whether it’s waiting our turn, saying “please,” or understanding personal space, these behaviours aren’t innate, they’re taught, modelled, and reinforced over time.
This learning process isn’t exclusive to any one group. Neurotypical children, Autistic children, adults with acquired brain injuries, and everyone in between, we all go through it. It’s part of growing up in a society where shared norms help us live together respectfully and safely.
It’s Not About “Fixing” Anyone
When we support someone in learning socially appropriate behaviour, especially someone with a disability, it’s not about changing who they are or making them “fit in” for the sake of conformity. It’s about equipping them with tools to navigate the world more easily, to express themselves, and to build relationships.
This is no different than teaching a child how to cross the street safely or how to ask for help when they’re overwhelmed. It’s about empowerment, not correction.
We All Adjust to Social Norms
Even adults constantly adjust their behaviour based on context. We speak differently at work than we do with friends. We follow rules in public spaces. We learn from feedback, from mistakes, and from observing others. These adjustments are part of being socially aware, not signs of weakness or inauthenticity.
So when we support someone in learning these skills, we’re not singling them out. We’re simply continuing the same process that everyone goes through, just with more intentionality and support.
Let’s Shift the Narrative
Instead of viewing social behaviour support as something “extra” or “special” for Autistic people or those with disabilities, let’s recognise it as a shared human experience. Let’s talk about it as a developmental journey that we all take, at different paces and with different needs.
By doing so, we reduce stigma, promote inclusion, and create a culture where learning and growth are celebrated, not pathologised.