05/07/2021
Sometimes I hear soft drumming. Distant. Way distant.
The first time this happened I was in Mexico, exploring by myself. I was newly married and it was going quite badly. I felt a number of things at the time: trapped, shut out/abandoned in the relationship, and suffocated by feeling the partnership was punctuated by subtle manipulations and completely out of balance. I was confused, hurt, and unsure - I knew we were both contributing, and was not getting buy in from my partner to help sort it out. So, I had a longing to expand (and escape) out of the world I helped co-create, and put myself somewhere completely different in an attempt to find clarity and solid ground again - predominantly within myself.
Studying energy healing at the time, I was also fascinated by the plethora of healing techniques that are available to us - gifted by many wise, ancient civilizations of our world. I was blown away by so much beautiful wisdom. I was traveling to the US each year, so I set my sights on Mexico, and started researching the many archaeological ruins of their ancient peoples.
I mapped out a trip starting in Mexico City. I caught a bus traveling for 6 hours up into the mountains. I was the only Anglo on the bus and no one spoke English. I was terrified and also completely exhilarated. We traveled through 4 different landscapes and micro climates during those hours, from cactus strewn desert, to rich volcanic soils - where animals still drove machinery in agriculture, and time seemed to stand still. My destination was beautiful Oaxaca, on the Yucatán Peninsula.
I was the only blue eyed person I saw in this region, and I was stared at constantly. For a person who prefers flying under the radar, this was excruciatingly uncomfortable. It was a region where many communities had not been tangled with Spanish invaders, their features untouched with powerful echoes of a lost era. Nothing was written or spoken in English, and I knew only Spanish greetings. I had to extend myself to connect with the locals. There were many awkward, funny and beautiful exchanges. Exquisite moments of connection. Raw, beautiful, real. I laughed at the ridiculousness of bi-lingual guide books (pre smart phones), when you asked a question, was understood, yet you could not for the life of you understand the reply. I started to feel more at ease.
On a small guided tour to one of the lesser know ruins, I heard about and saw the advanced and meticulous water reticulation systems, the astronomy and astrology systems carved out and monitored on rock faces, and the planned seasonal agricultural practices using the sun and the moon. I saw dwellings that made more sense in their design than most modern structures. I heard about the significance of cenotes, and swam in their waters. I heard about human sacrifices to the gods. These ruins were usually built on identified high powered energy centres/grids of the earth.
I’m not sure how it happened, I think it was seeing the cavity of a dwelling that housed a baby’s body. There were a few theories as to why a family would do this- one of which was that death was sacred, an important part of life, and families kept their dead close. But just after this we were able to explore by ourselves. I felt some strong emotions welling up, so I wandered up the hill and perched at the top. Watching. Focusing on my breathing. Tears came, many, many tears. The power and relief of emotional release.
That’s when I heard the soft drumming. Which soon turned into me humming a tune I’d never heard before, and then at some point singing softly in words I’d never spoken before, in a language I did not understand. I still don’t. What I do understand is that I came back from that trip changed, stronger and clearer. More of who I am.
What I also understand and believe is that every moment of is a part of the fabric of our existence, an existence that extends far beyond this lifetime. I was taught to follow the energy, like following a line of enquiry, because what percolates up within us is what is asking for our attention and exploration, and what needs expression and healing. The energy is both about life now, and also linked through our other lifetimes. Strong patterns are often a solid indicator of this link, even beyond any trauma experienced in this lifetime. Forget the stories - as in, try not to attach any meaning to any of it. If we start saying things like ‘I was the grand poobah of eleventeen million disciples yada yada yada’, to get gratification from it, it’s more reflective of the ego being engaged, getting lost in the story and losing the gift in the meaning of the underlying energetic/emotional pattern. The point is to immerse in every micro detail to help release the grip of the old patterns that are still being activated in the now. It is deep pattern work, all about energy, and allowing it to release and move through us. So it doesn’t get congested and stuck, and we can move a little easier with the flow and rhythm of our own existence. In this lifetime. Living this way and having this framework has allowed me to find greater meaning in our overall existence, and to live in a much more comfortable, present, joyful and grateful way.
I keep looking at this mountain now at my local surf spot. I’ve surfed here for 5 years now, without really noticing it before. The memory has popped up because the energy of the mountain is striking a chord. When I’m here early and it’s quiet, I hear the soft drumming. I’m not sure what it’s about yet - I have observed some old physical symptoms appearing and I’m guessing something is percolating up for some examination and healing. I used to feel disappointed (perceiving it as a lack of progress) and sometimes fearful when this happened - and now I welcome it, because on the other side is more healing, more balance, more understanding, more health, more comfort, more clarity ~ more wholeness. So as I stare at this mountain I’ll see where the energy goes, stay curious and open. If you see me humming and singing in a different language, you’ll know it’s all ok 🌟💫
Its incredibly important to me to help others find more peace and comfort in this world. Not everything we experience fits neatly into “evidence based” categories, and it can leave us feeling wrong in some way, confused, isolated, and alone. If you have things happening or feelings that don’t yet make sense and you need someone to bat that around with and hold space for you to gently identify some of the threads - to walk beside you helping to uncover their message and meaning - please message me. The above is a small part of my experience, and only a summary. Let’s start to make sense of your experience, together 💖
