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The Plumber, His Missus, & Her Brain Tumours, North Haven (2026)

31/01/2026

REFLECTING ON CHOICES

This photo was taken 4 years ago yesterday, right before my family drove me to Sydney and dropped me off at The San Hospital in Wahroonga. COVID restrictions meant that they had to leave me at the front door of the hospital. While I absolutely supported and understood the reasoning, it was definitely a distressing experience.

I walked in. I didn't walk out.

To be honest I remain unsure if I made the right decision when I chose to have surgery. I had it because my specialists felt that I had a very poor prognosis if I didn't. Obviously, I'm happy to still be here, but.........life is challenging. I feel sometimes that I chose quantity over quality.

I have amazing support around me in terms of family & friends. My allied health team are outstanding, and I've lucked out with some excellent support workers. Nevertheless, I miss the opportunity to be a supporter as opposed to the person being supported.

All this to say, we can make decisions using the information we have at the time, be confident that we have made the right decision and still be conflicted about the outcome.

Part of being human is understanding we always have choices, even if we don't feel like we do and even when we don't like any of our options. It also means living with the consequences of our choices, positive and negative and taking ownership of that.

Rach x

Photo description
Rach standing in an entry way smiling with French braids by Sass [to make it easier while recovering]. She has a pink tshirt on which says brain Tumour 1 star. Her daughter PJ is on the left and her daughter Sass is on the right. They are all smiling.

24/01/2026

A IS FOR ADVOCACY

Since relocating to Dunbogan I'm slowly finding my tribe, mainly by learning to embrace my reality.

Currently I'm on the executive committee of Camden Haven Chamber of Commerce & am delighted that they've embraced my suggestion of an accessibility workshop for local businesses.

I'm in contact with The Chair Syndicate and with their help I'm setting up in a branch in Port Macquarie.

I've also been lucky enough to be welcomed into another local advocacy group with Sarah Eade who is doing a fantastic job of inspiring the community.

Camden Haven News Of The Area have been supportive of the freelance articles I've submitted around inclusivity, and I've had positive feedback.

Hopefully these things will incrementally make a difference.

But this is a reminder that everyone can be an advocate if they choose. If you see local issues eg a crumbling kerb, download the free Snap-Send-Solve app and report it to your local council. If you're dealing with businesses or organisations, ask what their accessibility policies are. Call out ableism when you see it.

May your long weekend be full of the things you love.

Photo description
John & Rach in sun hats & sunglasses smiling at the camera.

31/12/2025

CLEAN SHEETS ON A MONDAY

I love a Monday when clean sheets go on the bed. It just feels like there's so many new fresh possibilities. The beginning of a new year is like that. Sloughing off the dead skin, leaving a whole lot of promise ahead.

2025 has had some absolute gems.
*joining Rotary
*getting paid to write
*celebrating my dad's 80th in New Zealand
*watching offspring get married
*being able to dip my toe in some disability/inclusion advocacy
*some small physical wins in the wheelchair
*connecting with some truly special people
*lots of visitors (way more than we ever got in Antarctica. Sorry I mean Canberra. )

Couldn't have enjoyed this quality of life without my support workers, family, friends, and of course The Plumber.

So as we enter the last hours of the year, and as you reflect I hope you too can find some peaks amongst the troughs.

Happy NYE from Dunbogan.

Rach & John x

Photo description

Selfie of Rach & John, they're lying on white pillows smiling at the camera.

30/12/2025

THANKS FOR NOTHING SANTA

I've had a few messages over the last week wishing me a Merry Christmas, and asking if I'm having a good festive period. I've either ignored the messages (apologies) or sidestepped the question.

Because my 'gift' from Santa was Human Metapneumovirus. Other than going to the bathroom & the GP I haven't been able to get out of bed since Christmas Eve.

And if you're unlucky, this poxy virus can turn into pneumonia. Which it has. So more time in bed, when what I want to be doing is out living life. But when taking a shower requires the same energy levels as running a marathon, you kind of have to suck it up.

I won't be springing into 2026, more like oozing.

Shout out to Ashleigh & Haylee from NSW Ambulance at Laurieton. They popped over yesterday when my breathing was a bit, 'how ya going.' Super lovely, utterly professional, and arrived in 10 minutes. Just stellar service.

Happy almost 2026, hope you celebrate in more style than me.

13/12/2025

CELEBRATING THE CARER

Last Sunday I made a rookie error. Flicked up on my back wheels without checking if my anti tips were down. I cannot even describe the sickening feeling as my head & elbow hit the floor when I back flipped out of the wheelchair.

But worse was the look of distress on the faces of my husband, daughter & support worker as I sobbed. Terrible for them to have to see that. Being a carer is freaking hard. And traumatic. And tiring. And gut wrenching. And sad. And sometimes that gets overlooked in our grief for the disabled and/or chronically ill person.

(I'm ok. Still bruised, but the ambulance arrived super quick & the ambos were great.)

So tonight is all about John. We are at the Lady Gaga concert. One of his favourite singers, and I was lucky enough to get tickets so this is his Christmas gift. It is also his first ever major concert. Super grateful we get to do this together.

To the carers, we see you. We value you.

Photo description
Rach & John sitting at Accor Stadium smiling.

06/12/2025

I DON'T WANT TO BE HEDVIGA GOLIK

I've had a couple of comments lately that maybe I'm doing too much. As well as chair yoga, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy, strength training, my admin job, and writing for the paper; I've also joined the executive committee at the Chamber of Commerce & been nominated for the board of directors at the Rotary Club of Laurieton.

Here's the thing, I don't want to be Hedviga Golik. She was a Croatian nurse born in 1924, who died of natural causes in her apartment in Zagreb in 1966. But her body was not found until 2008. Nobody reported her missing. Nobody noticed she wasn't there.

When I go I want to leave an enormous hole. Does that make sense?

I've spent the last week doing intensive Pilates with Steph from Zebrafish Neuro. Thanks to her & the ever amazing Bec from Diverging Pathways I can now get from my wheelchair to the floor & back again without help. At this rate I will be joining Fletcher Crowley at the Paralympics.

Photo description

Photo 1
Pin (a gift from Tracey Miller) that says: Crap. Turns out this is my circus and those are my monkeys.

Photo 2
Selfie of Rach sitting in a kayak with sunnies & a Bunnings hat smiling at the camera. Behind her is Lachie one of the Recreation staff from Sargood On Collaroy who is also wearing a Bunnings hat & making a silly face.

03/12/2025

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITY (PWD)

I low key don't like the name of the day. The language feels very clunky. I'd far rather you just referred to me as disabled. It's not a dirty word.

It's also a day that makes me feel a bit conflicted. The surgery that left me as a wheelchair user saved my life. But it also means I don't get to go to Europe (top of my bucket list.) I'm probably also never getting picked up on Tinder (luckily I'm happily married.)

For those of you that aren't disabled but would like to be an ally:
*call out ableism when you see it
*encourage your workplace/local business to improve accessibility
*listen to disabled voices & don't speak over our lived experience
*don't infantilise us

Photo description
1. International PWD logo of an active figure with the words 3 December International Day of People with Disability
2. A selfie of me sitting in an X8 taken on the beach at Sargood aka my happy place.

30/11/2025

IT'S NOT JUST A PIECE OF PAPER

When the subject of weddings come up, the comment, 'it's just a piece of paper' is invariably made. Respectfully I disagree.

Weddings are a public declaration, an expression of hope. A joining together of families and friends. They're a sign of optimism in a world that often seems unstable & uncertain.

Our daughter Piper-Jade got married 2 weeks ago. As is always the case with events like these it was a whirlwind of a day and I'm still kinda tired!

But one thing really stuck with me.

Society often encourages men to be tough, to not show emotion. But I saw so much that day.

PJ's godfather Kerry looking so delighted as he drove her to the wedding. Her grandfather Tony standing proud & tall next to her. The plumber's look of love as he walked her down the aisle. Her brother Kellen strength as he stood next to her as bridesman. And last but not least, the tears from her husband Jay Benson when he first saw her.

I'm eternally grateful to still be here and form part of these memories.

Photo credits Leesa Baxter & Michael Southam

Photo descriptions left to right

1. PJ in her wedding dress with a veil (which I wore at my first wedding),holding a bouquet walking outside. John is in a suit holding her arm & looking at her.

2. Tenika (Kellen's girlfriend) in a yellow dress, Jay in a white shirt, black pants & burgundy bow tie, PJ in her wedding dress, Kellen in a white shirt, black pants & a burgundy tie. There are trees behind them & they're smiling.

3. PJ in her wedding dress, with Tony standing next to her in a suit & burgundy tie.

4. Kerry in a blue shirt, black pants & a burgundy tie, PJ in her wedding dress, Jay in a white shirt, black pants & burgundy bow tie, Leesa (Kerry's wife) in a long blue dress.

28/11/2025

VALE SYLVIA EUGENIA SEARS DANNER 21/12/1938-13/11/2025

Sylvia was born in Tampa Florida. Wife of Bob, mum of Rob & Jeff. Beauty queen, businesswoman, philanthropist. An absolute Southern Lady to the core. [If you know, you know.]

And in 1989 she became my Oklahoma, Rotary Exchange host mother, my mom.

I realised recently that Mom was about the age I am now when we first met. I am not sure what she made of a moody, hormonal, depressed 17 year old from New Zealand. But she called me sweet girl, and she showered me in love.

She was a constant in my life for almost 37 years, Visits, phone calls, gifts, letters-and always an interest in what I was doing. Stylish, graceful, thoughtful, kind and generous of spirit.

As an atheist I don't have any strong beliefs in an afterlife, but I do believe that the essence of mom will live on in the hearts of her family and the plethora of people whose lives she touched.

My eternal gratitude to Rob & Jeff who allowed me to share a piece of their mom.

Photo description
Sylvia with curly sliver hair and sunglasses smiling, and Rach with sunglasses smiling.

31/10/2025

CAN YOU SAVE A STARFISH?

Parable
An old man was doing his daily walk along the beach one morning, when he spotted a young boy crouched by the water, scooping something up from the sand and throwing it into the sea.

The beach was normally empty at this time of day, and so the old man stopped to watch for a while.

He noticed that the boy kept on shuffling a little further down the beach, then repeating this same action again and again – stopping, scooping, throwing, moving.

“What are you doing there, boy?” the old man asked, walking closer.

“I’m saving these starfish that are stranded” replied the boy, “if they stay on the beach they will dry out and die, so I’m putting them back into the ocean so they can live.”

The old man was silent for a few seconds.

“Young man,” he said, “on this stretch of the beach alone, there must be more than one hundred stranded starfish. Around the next corner, there must be at least one thousand more. This goes on for miles and miles and miles – I’ve done this walk every day for 10 years, and it’s always the same. There must be millions of stranded starfish! I hate to say it, but you’ll never make a difference.”

The boy replied “well I just made a difference for that one”, and continued with his work.

***********************************************************************

You don't need to do grand things to make a difference. Every small thing has a ripple effect. Find your tribe, do what you love, save a starfish.

Service above self.

Photo credit: Rotary Club of Laurieton
Photo description: Rach in a floral dress and green sparkly shoes sitting in her wheelchair, John is beside her in a blue shirt and jeans. They are looking at Graham, Rotary Club of Laurieton President as he inducts them into Rotary.

25/10/2025

WHEN LIFE GOES FULL CIRCLE

In 1988 I decided I wanted to be an overseas exchange student. With the support of my long suffering dad who was probably keen for a year off, I successfully applied to be a Rotary Exchange student.

I asked to be sent to Norway. I'm not saying the Rotary coordinator was dyslexic, BUT I ended up in Norman, Oklahoma instead.

As a mostly vegetarian atheist, from a big city in a small country, spending 12 months in a small town, in a meat loving bible belt state of a huge country, was life changing.

Part of my obligation to Rotary was giving speeches, the benefit of that is that I don't fear public speaking, something which has come in very useful.

36 years later The Plumber & I have become members of the Rotary Club of Laurieton. The members have been incredibly welcoming & generous. In particular Noel Hiffernan OAM who has gifted me a Firefly attachment for my wheelchair. Effectively this motorises my manual chair, awesome when going over long distances, and an item which was not in our budget. And since it's red, it will definitely go faster!

Photo credit: Leesa Baxter
Photo description: Rach in a multi coloured top sitting in her wheelchair in a park. The wheelchair as a motorised attachment on the front.

21/10/2025

When the Federal Minister of Disability has an office that is not accessible, what hope is there?

Some days I want to just curl up in a ball & cry.

Please watch & share.

Australia 2025-not good enough.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AiPnoJCch/

The Plumber, His Missus, & Her Brain Tumours