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The Plumber, His Missus, & Her Brain Tumours, North Haven (2026)

24/04/2026

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWAP PLACES WITH ME?

Imagine that you had a house (body) that you were comfortable in. It was familiar & held memories.

You paid insurance premiums (GST, income tax) in the knowledge that in the unlikely event your house (body) was damaged you'd be covered.

There's an incident. Your house (body) is damaged. You just want it back the way it was. The insurance company (NDIS) informs you that you will have to spend 6-12 months filling in reams of paperwork & answering intrusive questions about how you live your life in your house (body.)

You go through all of that and your insurance (NDIS) claim is accepted. But then the insurance company (NDIS) tells you that how your house (body) is repaired is entirely up to them. You have no say in how your insurance claim (NDIS) funding is spent. Faceless executives who don't know you will decide.

Then the insurance company CEOs (federal government) tells you that even though you paid your premiums (GST, income tax) they think they might means test you, and if they think you have too much money they won't pay out your claim.

And in the mean time the media tells everyone you're rorting the system, and you're a drain on the economy, and society. And social media jumps on board with people talking about how their husband's cousin's neighbour's hairdresser heard about someone getting a Caribbean Cruise through NDIS funding.

Meanwhile you're just hoping you can get funded for a wheelchair that fits you (4 years and waiting.)

I completely agree that the scheme needs some serious adjustment, but next time you share a meme or talk about cost blow outs, please remember there's individuals like myself who are looking in the mirror this week & asking if society values us at all.

I would give up these so called perks in a heartbeat if it meant a return of independence, autonomy, & most of all dignity.

If you relate to any of this please feel free to share it.

18/04/2026

ENJOY RETIREMENT

When you take your support worker out for a farewell dinner at the best ever Italian restaurant, because she is abandoning you to travel around Australia in a motorhhome living her best life.

Blah blah. What about ME??

Seriously though, I have been beyond fortunate to have had Nichole supporting me for the past 18 months. We've laughed together, cried together, & solved the problems of the world together. A fantastic support worker is worth their weight in gold.

And while I will miss her empowerment more than she will realise, I'm stoked that she's finally heading off on adventures.

###

Photo credit Saskia Anderson

Nichole in a boho green dress kneeling next to Rach who has a bright pink top on & is sitting in her wheelchair. Nichole has her arm around Rach & they are both smiling. There is a bookcase behind them.

12/04/2026

DIGNITY OF RISK/MY BODY-MY CHOICE

It is common for society to be overprotective of disabled people, and while that often comes from a good place it can still be frustrating.

Dignity of risk is the principle that individuals have the right to make their own choices, including those that involve reasonable risks, as a fundamental aspect of personal dignity and self-determination.

So, while it is ok to point out perceived risks [the same as you would for a non-disabled person], we still have a fundamental right to make choices.

One of my favourite things to do in a manual wheelchair is to throw my arms in the air and free wheel down a hill or slope. Is there some danger? Sure. As there is with everything in life e.g. a car trip. But I mitigate it. I have done extensive wheelchairs skills training; I don't do it on rough ground or if there are obstacles such as people in front of me. I don't do it in the rain or if my hands are sweaty and slipping on my push rims. Nor would I do it if I wasn't feeling 100%.

But that feeling of speed and freedom is one of the few thrills I still get.

Photo credit Saskia Anderson
Photo description
View of me from behind with my arms in the air going down our driveway. Waiting at the bottom is my long-suffering support worker Nichole Budin who is wearing a pretty dress and a face that indicates she hopes I don't run into her. Or her car.

29/03/2026

SOME DAYS ARE DIAMONDS

There are periods of time where I feel like I have to constantly justify the validity of my existence as a disabled person. That the accommodations I need to to survive are incompatible with societal expectations. I would give up the so called 'perks' like disabled parking permits in a heartbeat if it meant getting my old life back.

But even as I plumb the depths, unexpected people create cracks of light.

Amy from Bower On Lake who is determined to make her beautiful shop accessible.

Annette Holley author of Rosie’s Wheels [you need to buy this book] who gave me a copy of her fabulous book on a day that had been challenging in so many ways.

Sarah Eade, Gemma Byrnes, & Amber Thessenhaler who I joined for a lovely dinner at Delizioso, where the staff quietly and without complaint helped get 4 wheelchair users into a comfortable space for our delicious mealS.

It's a reminder that there are more amazing people than there are unpleasant ones. That life has bright points amongst the grey. That we all matter in our own way.

Photo description

Photo 1
Rachael & Amy outside her store

Photo 2
Rachael, Amber, Sarah, & Gemma outside Delizioso.

15/03/2026

ACCESSIBILITY IS THE ISSUE, NOT DISABILITY

This week Sarah Eade and I spoke at TAFE NSW - Port Macquarie around the social model of disability. This refers to the fact that it is not our disabilities that are the issue, it's the world around us being inaccessible that makes our lives challenging.

Recently I wrote a piece for Camden Haven News Of The Area around a local shopping centre that had done an 'upgrade' in their parking area. The installation of a new kerb has made it inaccessible. Additionally, during the work construction materials were stored in 1 of the 4 disabled parking spots-rather than in 1 of the 100 standard spots.

I copped quite a bit of flak online about the piece (screenshot of some of it below.)

It is not just physical impediments that cause access issues, it's societal attitudes. People that think like this don't change their minds until it directly affects them.

08/03/2026

JUST KEEP SWIMMING

If I asked most people what they thought my biggest loss had been over the last 4 years, they would probably say-use of my legs.

They would be wrong.

It is a sense of purpose. A reason to get out of bed.

While I'm grateful I still can work a few hours a week, the reality is what I do is pretty simple & my bosses could find someone else to do it in a heartbeat. My kids call for advice occasionally, but they're adults off living their best lives independently. The Plumber, well he lived on his own for 10 years before we met, he's sorted.

So the question becomes, how do I fill my day, and fill my metaphorical cup.

With that in mind I approached Luke Hadfield , President of Camden Haven Chamber of Commerce with an idea to run free workshops for local businesses to show them simple ways to make their businesses more accessible. This becomes a win for the community and also potentially increases profits for the owners.

Luke embraced it enthusiastically, I roped in the very awesome Sarah Eade, and it was all systems go.

Sarah & I held the first workshop last month which was well received, and our first accessibility audits were carried out this week. Big shout out to Pomegranate. K Clothing, Camden Haven Museum, Laurieton Newsagency, Laurieton Footwear & Bowls, Stone Real Estate Camden Haven & Bower On Lake who have embraced this so whole heartedly.

Next on the agenda is more audits, setting up Neighbourhood Watch in the Camden Haven in conjunction with the Chamber, [I also plan to bail up Rotary Club of Laurieton to see if they will get onboard], and initiating a chapter of The Chair Syndicate for the Port Macquarie region.

I'm not sure I've found my purpose yet, but service to the community seems like a good way to spend some time.

P.S. the highlight of the week was discovering that Taste Bakehouse sells REAL GENUINE New Zealand jam & cream donuts!!!

Photo credit Nichole Budin

Rach sitting in her wheelchair out in the street, she is holding an enormous donut & is looking delighted.

05/03/2026

Women of my world #5

45 years or so ago back in the mists of time, a man met a woman, and a relationship sprouted. Which should have been a simple story.

But......

The man had 2 fairly precocious children in tow. His 10-year-old daughter liked to read adult novels & then loudly ask inappropriate questions at the most inappropriate times. His 8-year-old son, well he grew up to be Dangerous Dave Wakelin........

As for the woman in the fairytale, she wasn't sure about kids & she definitely wasn't sure about these 2. But she went with the flow. And over time she became Boz/Mum, and then Grandma. And even though their relationship has shifted, Dad & Boz still form a significant part of each other's lives.

For me, I have ALWAYS known that she has my back, even when she doesn't agree with my decisions.

The kids often talk about the time she showed them some of her dance moves, [I'm still paying for their trauma counselling]; John can't fathom how she thinks tofu is a food; and I remain grateful to have had a very not wicked stepmother.

Thanks mum x

P.S. Thanks for sharing your whanau with us x

Photo description
Three people standing in trees, they are all smiling at the camera.
Tony Wakelin is wearing a suit with a burgundy tie, his granddaughter Piper-Jade Benson is wearing a white wedding dress & holding a bouquet of flowers, Grandma Boz has a white shirt, black pants & a black & white jacket.

04/03/2026

Women of my world #4

I remember vividly how nervous I was. Changed my outfit 5 times, kept brushing my hair, even put on make-up, and I'm so not a make-up person.

Drove around the block multiple times because my anxiety was through the roof. Could we reschedule? What if I embarrass myself? What if I'm not good enough?

I tied myself in such a big knot, it's a wonder I could breathe.

Then there she was. The Plumber's oldest daughter with her arms open wide to receive me. And the words in my ear, "thanks for making my dad so happy."

I refer to myself as her stepmonster, and I couldn't love her more if I tried.

Selena Purdom near or far, you'll always have a hold on my heart.

Photo description

Rach & Selena sitting on a cane couch smiling at the camera. They've got paint spattered aprons & warm clothes (because Canberra is freezing. )

03/03/2026

Women of my world #3

Tracey Miller has been many things over the last 10 years. Travel buddy, op shop companion, admin assistant, support worker, ever faithfulfriend-she makes me laugh harder than anyone.

I refer to her as TWSWITW (The Worst Support Worker In The World.) She knows the day I stop calling her that she's in trouble.

Trace is also an artist extraordinaire and is responsible for one of my favourite art pieces. Several years ago I had 6 weeks of radiation to my brain. This involves a pieces of boiling hot plastic being moulded to your face to make a mask. Then every day you are bolted to a table via the mask for treatment. I'm claustrophobic, the radiation didn't work & the mask was a nightmare reminder.

So Trace turned it into something beautiful (photo below.) I see it every day, it reminds me of her, and it whispers "you survived."

Love ya Trace, you're amazeballs.

Photo description
Radiation mask which has been spray painted silver. It has flowers, feathers & beads on it, with a red glass love heart hanging off it. (Hearts are my favourite shape.)

02/03/2026

Women of My World #2

Those that know me well know that I grew up from the age of nine with my dad Tony Wakelin and my brother Dangerous Dave Wakelin, my life circumstances meant that I gravitated to maternal figures [I still do.]

One of those, especially in the last 30 years since I moved to Australia is my aunt Victoria. We're not that far apart in age so as an adult she has been more like an older sister. And she has always had my back.

She flew down for 24 hours with her daughter Kaitlin right before I had surgery, her life circumstances meant that wasn't easy to do, but she made it happen anyhow.

Tori has supported me in my quest to solve family mysteries via genetic genealogy, and has never let me feel unloved.

She has experienced a ton of trials & tribulations that most people don't know about, and she has done it with laughter, compassion and finesse. Now a successful real estate agent in Queensland with her own agency Country Lane Realty she epitomises family. I feel so lucky to have her as my aunt.

Photo description

Rach, Kaitlin, & Victoria sitting on a couch, they are all smiling and theiur is a dog at their feet.

01/03/2026

The Women of My World #1

I had a random conversation yesterday at a writing workshop, and it reminded me of how moments of interaction can change so many things. It has pushed me to write about the women who have impacted my life [appropriate as we count down to International Women's day on March 8th.]

So inspired by Emily M from Kempsey, here is post #1 of women that have changed my life.

I have written before about Bec Dalzell from Diverging Pathways, and I could write endlessly about her. Bec is a physiotherapist, but that cannot possibly encompass what she has done for myself and others in the SCI community.

Her idea of leisure time is driving the local area looking for accessible places, as well as places that can be made more accessible. She then lobbies council on it.

She has purchased from her own funds a paddleboard that her clients can sit on, and she has worked out a way for me to go jet skiing which is a bucket list item.

Bec was the first person to make me realise that I did not have to spend endless hours chasing a goal to walk, that it was totally ok to use a wheelchair and focus on other areas like core strength. [This is not to disrespect those who want to walk again, we're all different.] I can't explain the mind shift that occurred when I took my energy and attention from my legs and made gains elsewhere.

For the last 5 years she has been advocating for Port Macquarie Hastings Council to install mobi matting on Town Beach. This allows wheelchairs, scooters, wheelie walkers and those who just need a bit more support, to safely traverse the sand. It was launched on Friday.

And to be clear, Bec has no skin in the game. She, her husband, and their three sons are all able bodied-she does this simply because it is the right thing to do. Because did I mention she is just a beautiful, giving person inside and out?

The world needs more physios like Bec. Actually scratch that, the world just needs more women like Bec.

Photo credit ABC Mid North Coast
Photo description
Rach in a pink dress, sunglasses & a hat, she is being pushed by Bec who also has sunglasses & a hat. They are crossing blue accessible matting at Town Beach with the ocean in the background.

22/02/2026

HEY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY

Tomorrow, everyone's favourite plumber turns **. He is going to spend it in his boat fishing with his childhood friend Rod who moved from Victoria in December and now only lives 10 minutes away. So pretty much his ideal day.

But he's not just a plumber, he's a husband, son, brother, dad, friend.

John is the husband he is today due to the lessons he gained from the two marriages before ours; he has raised my three kids [that we now share] with a wisdom that he gained from raising four before that.

So as he enjoys the golden season of living, I give gratitude to those who have passed through John's life, even fleetingly, those that remain, and those that are still to come. Every experience he journeys through makes him the person he is today-the hand I always look to hold.

All my love,
Rach

Photo descriptions
1. black & white photo of John aged approximately 3 in shorts, tshirt & flash shoes standing in front of a house smiling.

2. first photo I ever took of John wearing a stripey tshirt sitting on a wooden deck smiling.

3. My all time favourite photo, John sitting in the garden, in a tan singlet and blue jeans, cigarette in his mouth gazing at the camera. In his 20s? 30s?

The Plumber, His Missus, & Her Brain Tumours