02/09/2025
Itās not uncommon for our PDA children (and many other children!) to show an active interest in villains, anti-heroes and even horror. Iāve consulted with many families, whoāve shown concern around their childās apparent pleasure in illustrating themes consisting of blood and gore.
While itās completely reasonable to feel concerned about this, I want to touch on a few points to shed a little light and some perspectives that may not have been provided.
1. When youāre a child who is accustomed to being corrected, reprimanded, punished, misunderstood (and letās not overlook how many children also do not have insight into their own behaviour and internalise confusion and thinking theyāre inherently flawed), there isnāt a lot of representation of characters on TV or in the media that are relatable. Disney characters, morning cartoons, whatever it may be, itās really very common for our PDA kids to be drawn to characters they can relate to behaviourally such as villains when weāre not relating to Disney Princesses or typically do-gooder characters.
2. Having an interest in horror is not an instant identification for āpsychopathyā or any antisocial personalities or traits. Equally, a person being identified as āantisocialā is not an instant identification for someone who harms others. Weāve got to stop making this connection. Lower empathy, no empathy, sociopaths, psychopaths (using the language we see in the media here) as a few examples do not immediately equate to people who are serial killers. I know this is blunt, but letās not dance around it. Iām a person with multiplicity, and Iām nothing like the characters portrayed in the media around this, such as the movie āSplitā.
These stereotypes harm people.
3. Pathologising, disapproving of, or shaming a person around their interests when weāre concerned about them may push them further into a shame spiral, calling for them to hide such interests which may result in relational infractions in a personās sense of self and the way they relate to others. For the PDAer, it has the potential to push them even deeper into the interests we're concerned about when we voice concerns.
So how do we handle a child deeply invested in horror, blood and gore?
By being curious. By not panicking. By asking ourselves: do we also think movie directors, designers and creators around horror are secretly people who set out to harm others? Or are they invested in their art?
Honestly, horror is not for me. I cringe, I donāt want to see it or know it. I donāt get the appeal. But, many people are drawn to it for a myriad of reasons.
š¤ Curiosity About the Unknown
Horror gives kids a safe way to explore scary or taboo topics such as death, monsters, and danger without actually being at risk. Itās a controlled way to peek at the ādark sideā of life, then retreat back to safety.
š¤ Adrenaline & Excitement
Fear activates the same physiological responses as excitement: racing heart, sweaty palms, heightened focus. Horror can feel like a rollercoaster ride..terrifying and thrilling at the same time. Some kids just love the rush.
š¤ Testing Their Own Limits
Children often use horror themes to measure their own bravery. Watching a scary movie, reading a creepy story, or playing a horror game lets them ask: āHow much can I handle?ā Itās a form of self-discovery and self assessment of capacity for emotional risk.
š¤ Identity & Expression
Kids might latch onto horror aesthetics such as ghosts, skeletons, witches, vampires because they resonate with a developing sense of individuality. It can also be a way of standing out or expressing an affinity with āoutsiderā culture.
š¤ Social Bonding
Horror is often shared! Telling ghost stories at a sleepover, daring each other to watch a spooky film, or laughing after a jump scare. Fear can be a surprisingly powerful bonding tool and āoutsiderā culture and/or exploring our interests will often draw us to our neurokindred, or at least peers who share our interests.
š¤ Processing Real Life Fears
Sometimes kids explore horror themes because it helps them process real anxieties. Monsters, zombies, and ghosts can act as metaphors for worries about school, family conflict, or just the unpredictability of life. Facing imaginary fears gives them practice for handling real ones. One of my children used to draw a monster as a toddler and after some time, I learned they were referring to the beast they didnāt understand but knew itās power - PDA. This allowed me to start supporting them to learn more and understand PDA in different ways.
Of course, context matters. For some kids, itās lighthearted fun. For others, it could be a way of coping with deeper stressors. Itās of course crucial that we are reasonable and cautious in terms of what access our children have to age appropriate and safe content. Horror can vary in content and not all is safe.
When I discovered my own child was hiding their horror drawings from me, and after some time, they shared they were concerned Iād be upset, I knew I needed to approach with care. We chatted about it, I reassured them it was okay, I asked questions to understand, checked in with my own big, bad triggers, learned as much as I could and I signed them up to some creative classes revolving around horror.
Yes! I did!
As a Mum with a combination of at home learners and school attendees, we get creative in how we learn. And if my child has a passion and an interest, particularly a creative one, I want to do what I can to support that interest and disarm any shame or internalised worries around it for my child.
So, I signed them up to a Minecraft horror themed group, and a creative horror writing class. They were pumped!
This also allowed my child to approach me and ask if I was truly okay with it all - a great opportunity for us to learn from one another regarding our interests, emotions and differences.
Finally, I always encourage families to trust their intuition around where their child is at, and if you have any concerns regarding additional behaviours alongside horror themed interests, it doesnāt hurt to check in with a trusted professional. Intuition, however, is very different to what the media and society at large portrays in terms of good and bad, behaviourism and pathologisation of children.
This week, I'll be sending out a free guide: 'When Children Love Horror: A Guide for Parents & Carers'. To access it, just make sure you're signed up to our mailing list and you'll find it in your inbox later in the week.
To join our mailing list, click here: https://www.kristyforbes.com.au/rejoin
(I'm a PDAer, I will *never* spam you.)
Does your child have an interest in darker themes? How have you managed your family experience with this?
KF
š· Charles Parker.
