Journey of a single mum with a child with high behavioural needs

25/01/2023

Day 3 of term 1 😭😂 if you don’t laugh you will cry
Who am I kidding I’m crying 😭
First incident of the year Xander waiting in line for the teacher & pushes 3 kids why waiting because his frustrated …… then teacher chats with him
He walks out of class flipping a chair

2021 104 plus incidents at school
2022 18 incidents at school

Really hoping we can half that 18 this year or even less

23/01/2023

First day of school 2023 > year 5
Excited + nervous all at once
Beautiful teacher

And Mum is spending the day at home cleaning 🧹
Reminding myself that the mess wasn’t made in a day 😂 but just like Rome little by little 😂😂😂
It will be built ( cleaned ) the house will get reorganised and life will be slowly back to

21/01/2023

18/01/2023

Love this so very true

18/01/2023

Movies in style - recliner cinema for $15 a ticket on the family saver. Pays to shop around a bit check times and prices.

17/01/2023

Our afternoon has been spent with lots of tears + anger as he was made to tidy his room.

Xander quite often with spread food throughout the house today was a whole packet of rice.

16/01/2023

Bowling with the wild child. Prior to this he locked the keys in the support workers car
The joys 😂😭😂

15/01/2023

Elastic laces are a lifesaver exspesially for those kids who have meltdowns from not being able to tie a shoe lace 👍

14/01/2023

Breakfast today pancakes & dinner last night salad chicken tenders. Changing up our diet again

13/01/2023

Sitting in car why Xander is at a 3 hour nerf + ninja warrior day camp. Too scare to leave car park just incase 😂😭 raw reality

12/01/2023

Raw reality - kids make mess 😱
Reality for me is having a child who constantly demands my attention! So some days YES housework gets put on the back burner ….

But that’s ok because I need to meet my child where his at + if he needs a day of just laying on a lounge watching movies with MUM then

THATS OK

This morning I’m tackling (some) of the cleaning 🧹 why his calm quietly watching cartoons.

Motivation is up + down

However I’ve managed to do Hallway toilet + bathroom besides mopping. It’s a great start.

10 minutes on 10 minutes rest

You do you - what works for one family might not work for another

12/01/2023

Little bit of back story !

Xander started showing behaviours at 2 1/2 years old. He was in daycare

- hitting
-pushing
- biting
- yelling squealing
- swearing
-throwing things

At first we were told this is normal for this age group 6 months down the track that all changed he started getting sent home from daycare and adventally he was asked to leave.

We took him to doctors, got his hearing checked, applied for NDIS he started seeing multiple therpists each week.

Then the diagnosing begins

First
- Gloabal development delay
Then ADHD - ODD

By the time school started we had tried everything

- Dietary change
- social story’s
- reward charts
- time in

The list goes on.

His own father couldn’t cope and by the beginning of school he chose to leave. Which to me MUM was no loss.
Being a single MUM was a easier option doing it on my own gave me the ability to make the choices the therpists suggest and follow through. Where as Dad was always hesitant.

Adventally by 7 Xander was diagnosed with
Autism level 2 .

School was and still is a struggle. Xander can’t always regulate his emotions and lacks social cues.

The journey of medication begun at 4

Starting with
- catapress
Adventally Ritilan
- melatonin for sleep

Down the track the doctors tried to change him to slow release trying

- concerta
- vyvanse
- their was a 3rd but I can’t think of the name.

These gave a advert reaction causing Xander to become extremely violent.

For 18 months we lived a life of HELL

Xander would wake demand me , hit me multiple times a day, kick hit walls leaving holes .
At school he was hurting multiple students, teachers and at one stage tried to attack a parent. The incidents were getting worse.

I was struggling screaming out for help friends didn’t want to know me those who did found it hard to offer support. Family didn’t live close.

I was back and forth to doctors - peadiatrian & adventally a psychiatrist each time they would up medication or change it telling me to give it 3 months.

Ndis hadn’t given Xander much funding I was constantly back and fourth with them proving that he needed more help.
We needed a behaviour therapist.
Some one to look at the different behaviours and help me work out the triggers. To me they changed daily.

I was drained exhausted. I had been working 2 years straight why dealing with Xander at his worse and adventally it took its toll. I resigned from work 2022 and went back to being a full time Mum.

2022 - 2023 changed everything
Stay tuned part 2 tomorrow
Xander’s awake