16/12/2025
I’m about to say some s**t women whisper about… but should be fu***ng screaming!
As a massage therapist who works closely with women’s bodies, I see a side of perimenopause and menopause that almost no one talks about.
You hear the obvious crap…
Hot flushes.
Night sweats.
Mood swings.
But there is a whole other layer — physical, emotional, messy, confronting, what-the-actual-f**k stuff — that shows up quietly, usually when a woman is lying on my table and finally feels safe enough to drop her shoulders and breathe, vent and bloody scream.
And that’s why I’m talking about it.
Because when women come in for massage, it’s rarely “just a tight neck.”
It’s exhaustion baked into their muscles.
It’s nervous systems fried to s**t.
It’s bodies holding years of stress, confusion, grief, and hormone chaos — with no bloody explanation.
I hear this constantly:
“Why do I feel like I’m losing my mind?”
“Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?”
We weren’t warned about this.
Not even close.
And none of us should be doing this s**t alone.
and
I'm right there along for the s**t show that is second puberty trying to navigate it and understand it too.
For many women, it starts long before they realise what’s happening.
Anxiety out of nowhere.
Crying over things that never used to matter.
Sudden rage that scares the hell out of you.
You feel like you’re losing control — or worse, losing you.
And the sleep… don’t even get me started.
Falling asleep is easy.
Staying asleep? Yeah, nah.
You wake at 2am or 3am like someone flicked a switch in your brain.
Wide awake. Exhausted. Pi**ed off.
And no — wine doesn’t help. It just makes the next day s**ttier.
Then there’s the fatigue.
Not “I’m tired.”
More like “I feel like my soul has been wrung out.”
The dishwasher feels impossible.
Cooking dinner feels like a fu***ng marathon.
Some days you’re not thriving — you’re barely holding it together.
And the grief.
No one talks about the grief.
Grief for the body you used to know.
Grief for the ease, the energy, the confidence.
Grief for feeling older than you should — WHEN YOU’RE NOT EVEN OLD 😫
The gut joins the party too.
Random bloating that makes you look six months pregnant in under an hour.
Constipation. Diarrhoea. Cramps.
Foods you’ve eaten your whole life suddenly saying, “Absolutely the f**k not.”
So you cancel plans because you don’t trust your own body anymore.
Now… let’s talk about intimacy.
Because this part hurts like hell — and women are scared to say it out loud.
So many women whisper to me,
“I just don’t want to be touched anymore.”
And that doesn’t mean they don’t love their partner.
It means their body feels uncomfortable, overstimulated, dry, sore, exhausted — or just fu***ng done.
Libido drops.
S*x hurts!
Desire disappears.
Your nervous system never switches off.
And no one tells you that hormones can absolutely wreck your relationship if you don’t know what’s happening.
And here’s the scary part:
Some women are terrified their partner will leave.
Some already have.
Some stay in relationships filled with pressure, guilt, resentment, and silent fear.
Some feel like they’re failing as women — which is complete bulls**t.
I feel this in the body as I work on them.
Guarded chests.
Tight hips.
Women bracing without realising it.
Carrying shame that does not belong to them.
Even in good relationships, intimacy becomes awkward as f**k.
Touch feels loaded. transactional.
Conversations feel uncomfortable.
So women pull away — not because they don’t want love, but because it feels easier than explaining something they barely understand themselves.
And that messes with your self-worth.
Your confidence.
Your sense of being desirable.
It’s brutal.
For many women, massage becomes the only place where touch feels safe again.
No expectations.
No performance.
No pressure to “want” or “do” anything.
Just care.
Just support.
Just being allowed to exist in your body.
And sometimes that’s the moment a woman realises:
“I’m not broken.”
“My body isn’t betraying me.”
“This is a fu***ng transition — not a failure.”
Second puberty fu***ng sucks hairy testicles.
The brain fog adds another layer of chaos.
Forgetting words.
Losing your train of thought mid-sentence.
Walking into a room and thinking, “Why the f**k am I here?”
You feel scattered, foggy, not as sharp — and that can be terrifying if you’ve always been the one who has it together.
Then come the weird-ass symptoms no one warned you about:
– Itchy skin
– Burning mouth
– Electric shock sensations
– Ringing or itchy ears
– Tingling hands and feet
– Random joint pain
– Heart palpitations
– Internal vibrating feelings
– Breasts that suddenly ache
– Hair thinning where you want it… sprouting where you don’t
– Body odour changes (rude)
– Dry eyes, dry skin, dry EVERYTHING 🫣
This s**t shows up uninvited and makes women feel like they’re falling apart piece by piece.
And the weight. not me yet but others.
Ohhh the fu***ng weight.
You exercise.
You eat the same — or less.
Your body says, “Cool. We’re storing everything now.”
Your shape changes.
Your waist disappears.
You don’t recognise yourself in photos.
And the scale barely moves.
It’s infuriating.
The family impact?
Real as hell.
Short fuse.
Zero tolerance.
Snapping, apologising, feeling guilty on repeat.
Trying your hardest while your hormones run the show.
And the kicker?
On the outside, you look fine.
You look like you’re coping.
But on the table — when your body finally lets go — the truth spills out. I'm here to support you the best I can.
✨ There are close to 100 symptoms now linked to perimenopause and menopause.
This isn’t “just hormones.”
It affects muscles, joints, sleep, digestion, relationships, confidence, identity — your whole fu***ng life.
I’m sharing this because I see it every day.
Because women deserve to know what’s happening to their bodies.
Because silence keeps women blaming themselves.
If even one woman reads this and thinks,
“Oh my God… it’s not just me. I’m not crazy. I’m not broken.”
Then it’s worth saying — loudly... FU***NG LOUDLY!
These are the battles women fight behind brave faces.
These are the bodies asking to be listened to.
And we need to talk about this s**t — more.
If you made it this far…
you’re a bloody legend — and your body is doing the best it can 😉✨
With love & zero bulls**t,
Teresa 🌸
P.S. Merry fu***ng Christmas
