26/11/2024
NOVEMBER 🪷
I've been pretty absent on socials for a while. Social media is the first ball I drop when things get busy or my energy feels low. And around Lilly’s birthday, I protect our family's space more. I've worked so hard on setting boundaries and not feeling guilt.
Lilly would be 7 now and that just seems wild to me! It's been 7 years since we held her. It feels so far away, but I can still feel her on my lips as if I just kissed her forehead.
This year, I was really interested in how dynamics had changed again in our circles (yep, even 7 years on). Who reached out, who acknowledged her and us, who was patient in my replies and didn't take offence when I said thanks 2 weeks later. I have so much gratitude for the people who remembered her with us. As overwhelmed as I was with all the messages, I felt so much love. I don't expect everyone to message or say something but let's be honest, there's always someone whose absence from the day doesn't take you by surprise, but hurts nonetheless.
I know where my loyalties lie since having Lilly. I know who to give my energy to and who respects how we remember her and how we grieve. I see things more clearly now. She gave us perspective, permission, guidance. She showed us what was important, changed how we raise our Earthside children and taught us how to set boundaries. She taught me how to love, what it takes to be a Mum and what to prioritise. And I'm so grateful for her every day.
They say after 7 years, every cell in your body has changed. It explains a lot in love, in work, in life. In grief, it makes it sound like I became a different person 7 years after the moment I met her. But if I really look back, I am a different person BECAUSE I met her. And because of her, every day, I am grateful to have known her and loved her.
So, this is your reminder that:
- Boundaries are healthy.
- Your energy should be reserved for people who return their energy to you in a positive way.
- You don't have to maintain a relationship if it doesn't align with you anymore.
- You're allowed to grieve your baby and you don't have to get over it, EVER.
- You are a different person now, but different doesn't mean less 💫
7 🪷