19/06/2025
This made my night, thanks so much Nicole Hintz Property ❤️
"Ode to the Tiny Terror with Thumbs of Steel"(A Poem for the Not-So-Relaxing Massage Therapist)
There once was a lass from the Highlands, With thumbs like jackhammers and war plans. She’s tiny, she’s fierce, a true muscle slayer—If pain were a dragon, she'd be the last player.
“Ye came for a relaxin’ rub?” she’ll sneer, As you whimper and cry with a trickling tear.“You’ve got knots in yer glutes the size o’ Dundee, Now hush while I murder them—bravely—for free.”
She’ll find that one tendon from a single bad sneeze, Then dig in so deep, you’ll confess on your knees. She’s armed with her elbows, her knuckles, her sass, And a thick Scottish brogue that could shatter glass.
With the strength of ten Clydesdales packed in her frame, She’ll pummel your hamstrings and laugh through your pain. Just breath through the agony, you’re doin’ just fine Aye, that’s the soul of your calf I just realigned!”
She doesn’t do candles or spa music fluff,Her sessions are brutal, efficient, and rough.But walk out, you will, like a brand-new creation—Once you recover from full reanimation.
So if you want bliss, soft hands and a nap—Go find someone else with a lavender wrap.But if you want healing, and guts made of grit—Call the wee Scottish weapon who don’t give a— twit.
