Brisbane Couples Counselling

31/12/2025

Happy New Year! May this year be filled with growth, love, and finding our way back to connection ❤️
www.brisbanecouplescounselling.com

26/12/2025

Anyone else? 🤣

24/12/2025

Merry Christmas!🎄wishing you and your family a beautiful day!

17/12/2025

This weekend I had the joy of MC-ing a wedding 💒
So much love, so many meaningful moments.

At one point someone asked me if I’d ever thought about being a celebrant. I said yes, because I love love, I love helping people say what they really mean, and I love creating moments that actually land. Then I laughed and said I wasn’t quite sure how that would work alongside being a couples therapist… boundaries and all that.

Someone joked, “Yeah… congrats on your wedding! Here’s my business card if it all goes wrong.”
Everyone laughed. And honestly, I get the joke.
But later (because I am who I am 😅), it got me thinking.

What if couples therapy wasn’t something we only reached for when something has gone wrong?

Of course I see couples in crisis, that’s real and important work. But so much of what I do is actually about helping couples have better conversations, understand each other more deeply, and stay connected through the normal pressures of life.

What if we thought about relationship support as maintenance, not failure?

As tune ups, not emergencies.
As something preventative, not shameful.

What if we recognised not only the milestones…the weddings, pregnancies and engagements but also the messy, imperfect work that gets us there? The parts that sometimes need support, yet are still deeply woven into a lifelong commitment.

What if couples therapy was just… part of the village?
Part of our community care.
Like going to the GP, servicing the car, or getting a cleaner when life gets busy, extra support when you need it.

I love that idea.
Because strong relationships don’t happen by accident.They’re built, tended to, and supported over time ❤️

If this way of thinking resonates, maybe it’s worth asking: What kind of support would help my relationship feel a little easier right now?

Reach out to me - info@brisbanecouplescounselling.com or www.brisbanecouplescounselling.com

(Photo from my own wedding in August ❤️)

15/12/2025

As we come up to the Christmas period, there is often greater chance for tensions to run high for everyone. But it is particularly risky for families experiencing coercive control.

As I speak to clients, and also see posts on different Facebook groups I'm a part of, I increasingly see confusion around whether control is present in a relationship.

I thought it might be helpful to start labelling some of the subtleties and the way it can show up. Below I have also included additional places for further support.

Sometimes control doesn’t look like control. Or at least what you might think it is.

It might not look like being told where you can go.
It might not look like money being taken away.
It might not look like being stopped from seeing family.

It might not look like physical violence.

Sometimes it looks like:
– someone consistently speaking on your behalf
– being corrected or belittled in public
- contempt that is excused as a 'joke' (put downs about mental health, the money you earn, your parenting etc)
– going quiet to keep the peace
– losing friendships “for the good of the relationship”
– feeling like you need to stay calm so someone else doesn’t explode
- feeling relief or a sense of freedom when you're away from that person

And from the outside, everything can look… fine.

You might even smile.
You might move on quickly.
You might tell yourself it’s not that bad.

What often goes unseen is what happens inside.

When someone raises their voice, dominates a conversation, or becomes unpredictable, the nervous system may choose freeze or shut down, not because you’re weak, but because it’s the safest option available.

Freeze can look like:
– going blank
– feeling flat or numb
– not responding
– struggling to find words
– disconnecting from emotion

It’s not indifference.
It’s self protection.

If reading this makes something tighten in your chest
that’s not you being dramatic.

It might just be your nervous system recognising something it’s learned to survive.

You’re not weak for adapting.
And you’re not imagining what feels wrong.

Please check out the following resources for support:
- Relationships Australia: https://raq.org.au/blog/what-is-coercive-control/
- If you need help or immediate support please contact DV Connect on 1800 811 811

Not all domestic abuse is physical, and some types of abuse can be hard to recognise. In fact, some people can live in an abusive relationship for years and not realise they’re experiencing abuse. Coercive control is a type of domestic abuse that can be harder to identify than some other types of ...

15/12/2025

I have appointments available on Christmas Eve until 3pm 💃💃💃

14/12/2025

Two (or many) things can be true at the same time.

Someone can be a good person and still need to be held accountable.

Someone can love you, raise kids with you, make dinner, organise life admin and still be unreliable, unsafe, or untrustworthy in certain ways.

When concerns are raised through yelling, belittling, sarcasm, mockery, put downs, or eye rolling, the message gets lost. Even if the point underneath is valid.

Once contempt enters the room, nobody is really listening anymore.

Sometimes it’s not even obvious behaviour you can point to.

It’s just that tight, icky, eggshell feeling. The tension in the air. The sense that something isn’t safe to say out loud. That matters. Our nervous systems pick up on things long before our logic does.

And a few questions worth sitting with:
Who tends to set the emotional temperature in your home? When they’re calm, does everyone else relax and when they’re dysregulated, does the whole house tighten?

What do you think that means?
About power? About responsibility? About whose feelings get centred?

Is that arrangement fair, especially to children, or to the parts of you that stay quiet to keep the peace?

What would it look like if emotional regulation wasn’t managed by avoidance, tiptoeing, or silence but shared, named, and repaired?

If this stirred something, it might be worth paying attention.
You’re not “too sensitive” for noticing the climate you live in.

We’re wired for connection. When our bids for understanding or care are met with dismissal, criticism or unpredictability, something inside us contracts. We adapt. We go quiet. We stop asking. We bury feelings.
But buried feelings don’t disappear.They don’t die.They just get buried alive

If this landed, it’s worth paying attention. Support can help turn tension into understanding

Compassionate couples counselling in Brisbane. Get help with marriage, relationships & communication. Book your session today.

14/12/2025

This weekend I had the pleasure of being the MC for a wedding in my family ❤️

The couple were married on the same anniversary date as her grandparents, a beautiful reminder of shared meaning, legacy, and the stories families carry forward.

It was good old-fashioned country hospitality. Warm, generous, and grounding.

Listening to two people speak so intentionally about the life they’re choosing together always brings me back to the heart of relationships. Not the grand gestures, but the daily bids for connection. The small rituals that say “I see you, I choose you”… a shared coffee, a game of cards, a thank you, a simple “thinking of you” message. An apology, repair.. feeling heard.

Weddings remind me that love is built in these moments, when people keep turning toward one another, again and again.

I’m heading into the week feeling warm and awash in the glow of family, ritual, and strong hearts that show up and do the work.

🤍

08/12/2025

What Christmas parties look like when you work for yourself 🤣🤣🤣🤣

04/12/2025

Travis Kelce recently said that he and Taylor Swift have never had an argument… and the internet went WILD.

First of all, who actually knows what he means by “argument”?

Also, celebrity couples also have an entire layer of privacy management that the rest of us don’t. So, he could be keeping private things private. And yes, I’ve seen the jokes… “Of course you don’t argue when you’re a billionaire.” 😂

BUT the couples therapist in me immediately went:
Oooo… learning opportunity! (Nerd alert 🚨)

Here are a few thoughts:

1️⃣ What is an argument? Most people hear “argument” and think yelling, raised voices, hurt feelings, slamming doors. But many couples disagree, negotiate, and problem solve gently. So if he means “we don’t scream at each other”… that’s actually great.

2️⃣ Conflict is GOOD for relationships.Gottman research shows it’s not IF you fight, but HOW you fight.

When you use a gentle start up, express the deeper need under the complaint, and avoid the Four Horsemen (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling), conflict can bring you closer.

3️⃣ Not all fighting is created equal. Yelling, name calling, eye rolling, shutting down, or becoming flooded (when your nervous system is overwhelmed) isn’t productive. Those moments do require repair. But it is absolutely possible to have conflict without wounding each other.

4️⃣ Disagreements are NORMAL.Tension, differences, friction, this is part of being two complex humans trying to share a life.It’s not the absence of conflict that predicts relationship strength…It’s the quality of the conversations.

5️⃣ And yes, “never fighting” can also be a red flag.Sometimes it signals conflict avoidance, fear of rocking the boat, or not knowing how to bring something up. As one of my colleagues puts it: “You can bury feelings, but you bury them alive…and they always come out in other ways.”

✨ If you and your partner want to learn how to communicate well, navigate conflict safely, or reconnect after tension, this is exactly what I help couples with.

👉 Learn more or book a session at: www.brisbanecouplescounselling.com

02/12/2025

I’m sitting here having my morning coffee before the work day begins, feeling incredibly grateful for this year. There are so many things I could list… but today I’m especially thinking about our wonderful admin team.

I rent my room at The Work Well, just opposite Remy’s, (shout out to their great coffee!!), and we are truly spoiled with the most amazing support crew. Emily, Amelia, and Johanna are the dedicated team who greet you, handle every query with patience and care, and make the whole space feel warm, grounded, and friendly.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how much a good admin team influences how smoothly everything runs, it’s such an essential part of a good client experience. I deeply admire their knowledge, their ability to juggle multiple diaries and systems, and the way they keep everything humming behind the scenes.

Starting my own business this year has been a big leap, and they’ve made it an absolute breeze. I’m so thankful for each of you. 💛

02/12/2025

Pearl of wisdom from Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT!