Nadia Eliseyeva - Relationship Counselling

23/04/2026

Not every conversation needs to be resolved immediately.

Sometimes the most helpful thing is to pause and return when both people feel calmer ❤️‍🩹

Emotional equilibrium allows us to listen, not just react.

Taking space is not withdrawal.
It can be a way to protect the relationship.

We all need different amounts of time to return to equilibrium.
For some, it may take 5 minutes.
For others, it may take a day.

After a big argument, the nervous system often needs time to settle; sometimes up to an hour or more to reduce stress levels.

This is why it’s important to talk about it.

Ask your partner:
How much time do you need to calm down?
And ask yourself the same question.

Understanding and respecting each other’s need for space can help prevent further escalation and support a healthier way of reconnecting. 💫

22/04/2026

Facing the “Otherness” in relationships…

Learning to accept differences 👥

One of the most challenging aspects of relationships is learning to accept the otherness of our partner, even when it was something we were initially attracted to.

Over time, these differences can begin to feel uncomfortable.
We may find ourselves wanting our partner to be different:
• more organised,
• more relaxed,
• more like us.

Differences can create anxiety. 😟

As Gestalt couples therapist Rob Resnick suggests, accepting the other as they are can sometimes feel like it invalidates WHO WE ARE.

“If your way is right, does that mean mine is wrong?”

For example, if I accept your way of setting the table, it might feel as though my way no longer matters. But in reality, both ways can exist.

It is not always easy to stay open, move away from judgment, and truly understand another perspective.

Yet it is precisely through these moments
• through dialogue,
• curiosity,
• and acceptance of difference

that real connection is created ❤️💫

21/04/2026

Pain in a relationship is not always a sign of the end.
• Sometimes it is a sign that the connection is still alive.
• That you still care.
• That something real remains between you, something that has not yet been said, understood, or fully lived through.

We often treat pain as a sign that something is wrong.
We think: if it’s difficult, the relationship must be “not right.”
If it hurts, maybe it’s time to leave.

But mature relationships almost always pass through periods of pain. Because in real relationships, we don’t meet perfect versions of each other, we meet real people, with fears, stubbornness, exhaustion, and past experiences.

Sometimes the pain is not there because the person next to us is “bad.”
Sometimes it appears because we don’t yet know how to navigate closeness in a healthy way.
We struggle to talk about boundaries.
We struggle to hear what lies beneath irritation, silence, or emotional distance.
Instead, we react automatically, we become hurt, defensive, or withdrawn.

And the more we protect ourselves, the greater the distance grows.

But if pain is present, it often means that there is still involvement, expectation, and value in the relationship.
Indifference feels very different.
It is quiet.
Empty.
Without emotional response.
Pain, on the other hand, can be a sign that something inside is still fighting for the connection.

The real question is not whether it hurts.
The real question is what you choose to do with that pain! ❤️‍🩹

08/04/2026

Love isn’t about being right; it’s about tending your shared garden, making conscious choices that help the relationship grow, not wither 🌿🪏🤍

05/04/2026

Book club for couples 📚

Connection is not only emotional; it can also be intellectual.
Reading together, sharing ideas, discussing perspectives; these are all ways couples grow side by side.
It’s not about agreeing on everything.
It’s about staying curious about each other 🤍

31/03/2026

One of the common themes I see in my work is a fear of anger, especially when it is directed toward someone we love. As a result, many people try to suppress it.

They tell themselves:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”

But as humans, we are capable of holding multiple emotions at the same time.
As Carl Jung suggested, emotional maturity begins when we can recognise two seemingly opposite experiences at once.

💔 You can love your partner and feel angry with them.
💔 You can care deeply and still feel frustrated or hurt.

The goal is not to eliminate anger.
The goal is to express it in a constructive way.

To speak from your experience:
“I feel…”
“I need…”

Rather than focusing on what is wrong with your partner, we begin to share what is happening within us.
When expressed safely, anger can actually become a pathway to understanding and connection.

29/03/2026

When in therapy, we may overgrow relationships, friendships, etc.…

One of the less spoken-about aspects of therapy is that, sometimes, we begin to outgrow parts of our life. As we develop more awareness, we may start to see what no longer works for us, in our relationships, friendships, or even our work.

Things that once felt familiar may begin to feel limiting.
Patterns we once accepted may no longer fit.

And this can be uncomfortable.

Growth is not always light or easy. Sometimes it brings uncertainty, sadness, and grief. Because letting go or even just seeing things differently can feel like losing something important.

But therapy is not about pushing people away.
It is about becoming more honest with yourself.
Sometimes relationships adjust and grow with you.
Sometimes they need to be redefined.
And sometimes, they come to an end.
All of these paths require courage.
And all of them deserve space to be processed with care 🤍

26/03/2026

Learning to pause before reacting 🤏🏼

During conflict, emotions can rise quickly.
Words may come out before we have time to think.
Learning to pause can change the course of a conversation. A short pause allows the nervous system to settle and helps us respond more thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

Sometimes taking a breath, stepping away for a moment, or simply slowing down can prevent escalation.

Emotional regulation protects not only the conversation, it protects the relationship 🫶🏼

25/03/2026

My practice is in Perth city centre, where I created what I like to call “The Safe Space” - a place where you can slow down, reflect, and focus on your healing and growth.

A quiet, private studio designed for conversation, where you can take a moment away from the outside world and turn your attention inward 🤍🤍🤍

📩 Email me: perth.thesafespace@gmail.com

05/01/2026

01/01/2026

Fantasies.
They come to us as images and feelings, driven by both conscious and unconscious desires, shaped by stories, films, and often imaginary experiences.
Scotland used to be one of those fantasies for me. I pictured a land of brave men, long-standing traditions, breathtaking cows grazing on green hills, gorgeous architecture, unusual musical instruments, warm wool, and high-quality whisky. All of this combined into an image of a magical country. I have to admit—Hollywood movies certainly helped to enhance that fantasy.

So, when I started booking this “magical place” for New Year’s for my family and saw the prices, I was a little surprised. Paris and London suddenly seemed cheap in comparison. Still, I convinced myself: a magical place can’t be cheap, right?
And this is exactly the issue with fantasies. 🙂

When we become too attached to them, we struggle to separate fantasy from reality. We look for excuses, ignore warning signs, and keep hoping for the best. So I pushed ahead and booked our very expensive trip to Edinburgh to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

I won’t complain about the accommodation, the tours, or the famous New Year festival - this post isn’t about that. Let me just say this: the experience was very different from my fantasy. That doesn’t mean Edinburgh is a bad city. Not at all. It simply wasn’t my fantasy.

Reflecting on this on the 1st of January 2026, I started asking myself some important questions. Where did I not put enough effort into researching? Where did I fail to ask questions? At what point should I have paused, listened to the signs (there were a few), and double-checked my assumptions? What responsibility do I need to take for the outcome?

And, of course, this doesn’t apply only to holidays. We hold many fantasies - about partners, work, friendships, and life in general.

I wish myself, and everyone reading this, not to stop fantasising altogether. Fantasies make life more colourful and meaningful - as long as we remember that they are fantasies, not reality.

Be mindful. Be present. Check information. Ask questions. See facts as they are, even when they are imperfect. Because this is life - and it is better than any fantasy.

21/12/2025

One of the key findings from over 30 years of Gottman research is that criticism is harmful to relationships and often leads to defensiveness in the other partner. For this reason, the Gottman Method encourages expressing observations, feelings, and needs, rather than blame. It also suggests communicating with “I” statements instead of “you” statements.

This sounds simple, and even logical, but it is incredibly hard to implement in the middle of conflict.
What helps me is remembering one simple truth:
“Behind every complaint, there is a longing.”
This is essential to remember for both the person expressing the complaint and the one receiving it.
For the person complaining, it can be helpful to pause and ask: What is my need? What am I really longing for?Sometimes this is something you can give yourself; other times, it is something that needs to be gently verbalised.

For the receiver, viewing the complaint through the lens of longing can make it easier to understand their partner’s underlying needs, take the message less personally, and hopefully avoid the vicious cycle of criticism and defensiveness.