Nicole Burling Psychology

04/12/2025

Let’s be real - believing that “all men are the same” just shuts the door on possibility. Australian men have different stories, personalities, and values, backgrounds, etc and holding onto that hope of meeting someone wonderful is what keeps dating exciting. I had ongoing hope that I could meet my person at any time right up to meeting and marrying my husband. Don’t let one bad experience convince you there’s no one out there, because there absolutely is. If you feel dating is hopeless yet you want a relationship, get in touch through the link in my bio.

28/11/2025

Remember: anxiety is your brain’s way of trying to protect you from uncertainty. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign you’re human.

Anxiety feeds on the unknown. That’s why it shows up as overthinking and “what if” spirals.  So don’t get stuck in tomorrow or next week or next year! 

Practice grounding yourself in the present and reach out if anxiety feels like it’s out of proportion or interfering with an area of your life.

26/11/2025

I dated a lot before meeting my husband and I know how hard it can feel, especially after ghosting, disrespect, or heartbreak. It’s no wonder the narrative “dating in Australia sux and there are no good men” feels so relatable. If you’ve been hurt, it makes sense that you’d want to protect yourself by believing it.
But here’s the thing: when we buy into that story, it becomes the lens we see men through. And that lens can make us miss the genuine, respectful ones who do exist. It can even sabotage our chances of connection by keeping us guarded and closed off.
You deserve to feel seen for how tough dating can be but you also deserve hope. Confidence means knowing your worth, holding your boundaries, and staying open to possibility. The culture may feel discouraging, but you are not powerless. You can choose to date with self-respect and the belief that good men are out there.
Don’t let a negative narrative define your story. If you want support with this, reach out through the link in my bio.

25/11/2025

Confidence in dating can be the quiet strength of knowing your worth, holding your boundaries, and showing up with calm self-assurance. You don’t need to by pushy or brash, you simply need to stand steady in who you are.
At first, practice this by slowing down before a date: take a deep breath, remind yourself of one thing you value about yourself, and carry that into the conversation. Start small, like speaking clearly when ordering coffee or expressing a simple preference, so your quiet confidence grows naturally, without pressure. Be kind to yourself.

20/11/2025

If you struggle with being assertive, start small such as voicing one preference without apologizing for it.
Even saying “I’d love to sit by the window” builds the muscle of self-trust and visibility.
Practice saying “I’d like…” instead of “I don’t mind.”
This subtle shift helps you own your desires instead of deferring by default.
Remind yourself: expressing a need doesn’t make you needy.
It makes you emotionally honest and that’s the foundation of connection.
Use your breath to anchor before speaking as calm will give you clarity.
Don’t shallow breath and a slow exhale can help your voice come through steady.
Reframe assertiveness as self-respect, not confrontation or aggression.
You’re not being difficult; you’re honouring your worth and inviting mutual effort💕

18/11/2025

Anxiety - it’s the mental replay of a comment you made on the date. The over-analysis of a text message. The dread of “What if they don’t choose me?”
These moments can feel small, but they add up, leaving you stuck in your head.

As a psychologist, I see this pattern often: when anxiety takes over, we shift into performance mode. We try to be “good enough/perfect,” “interesting enough,” “easygoing enough.” But the truth is, the right person isn’t looking for a performance. They’re looking for you... your quirks, your warmth, your real self. 

This is exactly the kind of anxiety I help women work through, so you can stop overthinking and start dating from a place of confidence.
Through mindset work, emotional regulation, and practical strategies, I support women to find lasting, true love. 
You don’t have to navigate this alone. And you don’t have to change who you are to be loved.

12/11/2025

I dated from that anxious place for a long time.
I was drawn to intensity, unpredictability and to people who activated my fears but felt exciting, for a while...
It wasn’t until I explored my beliefs that I realised:
Anxiety isn’t chemistry.
Chaos isn’t connection.
When I met my husband, it was different.
No stomach flips. No second-guessing.
Just calm euphoria.
A quiet knowing.
A sense of safety I didn’t know could coexist with attraction.
If you’re dating and struggle with this pattern of anxiety, reach out.

06/11/2025

If you’re attracted to bad boys who don’t treat you well and you can’t stop chasing them, I’d encourage you to explore the deeper beliefs and unmet needs driving that attraction.

Dominance/control, disrespect and aggression are not healthy characteristics of a relationship.

Emotional and physical safety are essential in healthy relationships.

05/11/2025

31/10/2025

28/10/2025

Do you have trouble prioritizing your needs or speak to yourself in a harsh tone? Your self worth is all about how you speak to yourself and treat yourself. Are you kind and encouraging or harsh and critical? Finding true love starts with yourself so if you’re attracting men who don’t treat you well, this could be why. I love helping women improve the relationship with themselves so they can attract the love they want. Reach out to see how I can help 💕